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parttimehotty -> To God from Dog (5/22/2008 8:03:12 AM)
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> TO: GOD
>FROM: THE DOG
>
>Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
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>Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
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>Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?
>
>Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in th e forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
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>Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
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>Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
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>Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
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>Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
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>1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
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>2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
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>3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
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>4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
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>5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
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>6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
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>7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
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>8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
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>9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
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>10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
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>11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
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>12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
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>P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
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