You are not a slave and you are not alone! (Full Version)

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SirromancerX -> You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 3:13:49 AM)

I understand that people have limits,but I find that many of the profiles I read here from those claiming to be slaves are very rude, demanding, even obnoxious, and very unslave like. C'mon folks we have all seen them! "I'm a slave, but I'm not a doormat!" Uh, actually sunshine you kind of are, sorry. Oh and how about "I''m a slave, but don't call me slave or girl. Well, alright then. These examples are not as bad as some I've seen, but you get my point. Now in these persons defense, I suppose over time one might get annoyed by some of the propositions as a slave they receive in a quest here to find a real Master or Mistress. Nevertheless, if you have extreme attitude issues, or want everything your way like Burger King, I would suggest that you are not a slave or that you have learned very little in your years of service.

Either your a slave or you aren't. Perhaps your simply have a fetish for playing the role of a slave or acting out the part of a slave, but last I checked in the dictionary, being a slave had a very specific meaning. Some may say well everyone is different and has different standards , likes, dislikes, etc. True! Yet this simply means that not everyone is a slave and there is nothing wrong with that. A lot of people are simply submissive to varying degrees! Some may be extremely submissive, but not a slave in the true sense of the word. The word "slave" means something very definitive and we need to stop tossing it around so liberally. I myself have been guilty of using the term "slave" loosely. It's too bad we don't have a word that means borderline slave/submissive, slave(but not quite), or slave with limts), because that's what most "slaves" actually are.



MissIsis -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 3:45:09 AM)

It isn't the dictionary definition that is important to people in their own lives, it is their interpretation of what is reality to them, which is highly subjective to each.  As long as each person has their own definition as to what a slave is, there is no way to box them into one category.  Slavery is illegal here in the states, anyway.  It is doubtless a slave contract will ever hold up in a court of law.  That leaves people to come up with their own definitions that each can live with. 

This is where talking & meeting & getting to know someone in real time & real life, slowly is so important, not only for someone considering slavery, but also for the dominant involved.  We all have to be careful.  And yes, a great number of these women who are considering slavery, have been told & asked the most incredulous things that would go against most people's idea of safe conduct.   They are tired of the married men, who come on here, only to find out, if they are that lucky, that he is indeed married, or otherwise involved.  Or that the person they are considering is only interested in online interraction, but he was having so much fun, he forgot to tell her. Or that he is much younger, or older than he led her to believe.  A person gets enough of those lies, & after awhile, I think it is very normal to put what one is looking for into their profiles.  Of course, it generally doesn't stop the people that are deceitful, but one hopes it will. 

There are many out there on both sides that feel like relationships don't last anyway, so what is the harm of playing someone online, since it won't last.  They don't feel like someone corresponding or playing with them online could actually develope real feelings towards them.  Or they think everyone is like them, looking only for a little diversion.  Or since, for whatever reason they can't have this lifestyle for real, it is perfectly acceptable to have it as pretend only & everyone else does, at least in their minds.

There are also many people who would most definitely be happy to be a slave to someone, but only after they get to really know the person, can they make that commitment.  Odds are pretty good, that these people who have demands as you describe, will not be satisfied with someone who expects them to make an all or nothing commitment to serve them immediately.  Sure it would be nice if everyone treated each other with respect.  But if you have something in your profile & I don't know if you do, that says you are looking for someone who likes to be passed around, or that you are not monogamous, & they are looking for monogamy, surely you wouldn't be able to expect them to treat you as if they were every going to become yours.

Now, that doesn't mean that in time, you might not be able to bring them to that place, where that limit would soften.  Sometimes, that happens, but if she tells you she is looking for monogamy & to you having more than 1 is important, it is a sure bet, that at some point, you will have a very unhappy slave on your hand, & no one enjoys being around anyone who is miserable all the time. 

We all tend to start relationships hoping for the best, but isn't it better, if at some point, you realize you want different things, that you just end it by being honest with one another & moving on.  Many people consider it, as they have wasted their time when these things don't pan out, but chances are, that somewhere along the way, someone missed what the other was saying. 



DiurnalVampire -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:22:25 AM)

While I can hardly speak for al slaves, I know that my two would most certainly qualify as "with attitude problems" for you. They are MY slaves, not slaves to everyone who they come in contact with.  I believe that is more of what the ones you are refering to are as well. They are slaves, to the right owner. They desire to be slaves, to the right owner. But they will not and are not going to give everything they are to every Tom, Dick and Mary that trys to toss around a few commands.
Hopefully, the thread wont turn into another sub vs slave debate since those never get anywhere.
However, neither you, nor anyone else on here, can say that either you are or you are not a slave. I can say it to my boys, and anyone else can say it to those they want. Someone is ot less of a slave for giving themselves to only an owner nor fr allowing their frusteration at how they are treated by those who dont understand that desire to show.

My humble opinion, of course
DV



christine1 -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:26:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirromancerX

It's too bad we don't have a word that means borderline slave/submissive, slave(but not quite), or slave with limts), because that's what most "slaves" actually are.


isn't this what the whole, "getting to know another person" process is all about?  how can anyone completely state something like this in a profile?  in a way, i think you are putting the cart before the horse.



missturbation -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:26:49 AM)

quote:

"I'm a slave, but I'm not a doormat!" Uh, actually sunshine you kind of are, sorry.

Door mat to me means someone basically who doesn't even have their own mind and if they do they certainly don't use it. Someone who will allow any kind of treatment even if it borders on the line of abusive or just plain 'not agreed on behaviour'.
So i am certainly not a doormat but i am a slave. Your definition and mine may very greatly.
 
quote:

Some may say well everyone is different and has different standards , likes, dislikes, etc.

I'm presuming you are talking about limits here. Now whilst i have no hard limits, i do have a medical issue which means certain play has to be limited. It is not my fault i suffer from asthma and did i not there would be no limit in place.
So therefore even slaves with limits may have a mighty good reason. It may not be just a like / dislike. Even if it is a like / dislike does your partner not need to know these things? Even if they choose to use you in ways you dislike after you telling them.
 
quote:

Oh and how about "I''m a slave, but don't call me slave or girl.

There may be reasons behind this. What if she was in a really abusive relationship where he / she called him / her slave / girl and hearing it still affects them in a bad way?
 
My point is without speaking to the people who wrote these profiles you will never know the reasoning behind it. Everyones definition of stuff is different and whilst it would be nice to have universal put in a box definitions sometimes, its never going to happen.

My advice would be stop whinging about those profiles that dont fit your definitions / ideals and go out and find one that does.
And yes that was said with full slave attitude [:D] 
 
 



lronitulstahp -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:42:13 AM)

     This reminds me of a thread i saw a few days ago...it was about putting ourselves in "boxes".  Maybe it's actually a good thing that we don't have any other "words" to describe submissive states.  It's fine time we started having relationships, which are defined by partners, and their interactions, and not just words. 
i'm not so certain if i am a
quote:

  slave/submissive, slave(but not quite), or slave with limts),
...but i'm sure it varies with what my partner and i develop over time.  Which also reminds me of a thread concerning baggage, and what subs bring from prior relationships.  (methinks i'm spending too much time here...)

Btw ...[sm=welcomewave.gif]to the boards
SirromancerX



which reminds me of a thread....[;)]



Justme696 -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:49:52 AM)

Interesting opinion SirromancerX
As you see not al agree. But if you keep looking through the profiles. You will find enough slaves that will fullfill your wishes.
It sometimes just takes time.

Most of the females stating such things "I am not a doormat" have a reason for that. You can always ask, that is better then guessing.
Perhaps it is still a nice person.



MstrDennynSlave -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:57:49 AM)

I had limits when I met Master for the first time. I became his submissive before becoming his slave. Master always told me that I was His submissive, not anyone elses. To me the term "doormat" means you will submit to anyone, anywhere. I am a slave, but not a doormat. And as such, I only submit and answer to Master. Since I've been with Master, almost a year now, I have no limits other than what my health restricts. I have asthma and Master knows when we do breath play that he must watch me closely. We dont engage in breath play if I've been having trouble breathing that day. I also have trouble with my lower back and my tailbone. Master knows when he is punishing me that he has to avoid spanking me anywheres near my tailbone, as I will have excruciating pain. Master also knows that he cant restrain me in awkward positions due to my low back problems. We have made accomodations to my health, for our pleasure. Does that make me any less of a slave? I dont feel it does. Having limits within a slave relationship is acceptable for varying reasons. Does not mean that person is any less of a slave or not a slave for having limits. I was in a very abusive first marriage and Master had reservations about even punishing me. He didnt want to cause any flashbacks. I pushed for the punishments as I wanted Master to be able to punish me when I needed it. I've not once had a flashback, as I know the punishments are done with my betterment involved and also done with love.



Maya2001 -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 5:59:28 AM)

Things to consider   ... there is no true and one way only definition of what makes a lifestyle slave ..just as there is no true definition  for sub or master , dom etc  so your interpretation of slave can be totally different then someone elses.    The names are just labels we apply to ourselves..... meaning the indivinduals either want either higher or lower authority transfers within their relationships.... getting into a good commited relationship evolves around the same issues as one deals with in  seeking vanilla relations that is compatibility and the ability to communicate with one another ..not  the labels such as master/slave or D/s



phoenixinchains -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:01:24 AM)

[sm=popcorn.gif]



lronitulstahp -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:06:53 AM)

[;)]so we are in agreement, yes? 



Maya2001 -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:16:12 AM)

well the 2 of us are  ...not sure the OP is ready to agree [:D]



lronitulstahp -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:17:07 AM)

i was just surprised he had a profile; being a first post and all....[;)]



rulemylife -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:23:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

"I'm a slave, but I'm not a doormat!" Uh, actually sunshine you kind of are, sorry.

Door mat to me means someone basically who doesn't even have their own mind and if they do they certainly don't use it. Someone who will allow any kind of treatment even if it borders on the line of abusive or just plain 'not agreed on behaviour'.
So i am certainly not a doormat but i am a slave. Your definition and mine may very greatly.
 
quote:

Some may say well everyone is different and has different standards , likes, dislikes, etc.

I'm presuming you are talking about limits here. Now whilst i have no hard limits, i do have a medical issue which means certain play has to be limited. It is not my fault i suffer from asthma and did i not there would be no limit in place.
So therefore even slaves with limits may have a mighty good reason. It may not be just a like / dislike. Even if it is a like / dislike does your partner not need to know these things? Even if they choose to use you in ways you dislike after you telling them.
 
quote:

Oh and how about "I''m a slave, but don't call me slave or girl.

There may be reasons behind this. What if she was in a really abusive relationship where he / she called him / her slave / girl and hearing it still affects them in a bad way?
 
My point is without speaking to the people who wrote these profiles you will never know the reasoning behind it. Everyones definition of stuff is different and whilst it would be nice to have universal put in a box definitions sometimes, its never going to happen.

My advice would be stop whinging about those profiles that dont fit your definitions / ideals and go out and find one that does.
And yes that was said with full slave attitude [:D] 
 
 


This is a lot of qualifying and rationalizing but the fact is you are a slave or not a slave.  You can make up your own definitions for the term but go to any dictionary and there is only one.  Yes, if you are a slave you are a doormat, or any other thing your Owner wants you to be.  While you may have a "mind of your own" it is always subordinate to your Owner's will.  Anything less is not a slave, by definition.

I've struggled with this myself.  I've lost someone I loved to serve.  While I'm been given the opportunity to return I've struggled with the sacrifices I would have to make. 

Bottom line is you're not a slave "except when" or "but if", a slave, by definition, doesn't have that right.   



Phin -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:30:52 AM)

~FR~

[sm=2cents.gif][sm=sucks.jpg]

I had this conversation last night. People have to define everything. My girl is My girl, period. Does it matter what she is called? she is who she is, and I am who I am. Who gives a shit what its called? If I want to call her slave, I will, but she does not have to live up to your standtards. her job is to make my happy.

This whole things is a sore spot for me...

[sm=horse.gif][sm=alarm.gif]



mmsprecious -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 6:59:05 AM)

until i agree to be "someones" slave, i am my own person, with my own ideas about what i want, what my limits are and what i will or won't do. period. i'm not every Master's slave. sorry but "it don't fly with me". i don't submit to another Master unless ordered to. i respect them and show my respect but i don't have to be "anything" for anyone but my own Master. now, i agreed to be my Master's slave. and i submit to Him fully. i had limits. some of them have been pushed and have disappeared. that, to me, shows growth and hard work on both our parts as a M/s couple. it is not just any Master's right to have my service at that level unless it is my Master asking me to give it.
frankly, i have to agree with Phin - i don't really care what others think. We know who we are and what we are.
just my two cents.
Master Mike's precious



SirromancerX -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 7:03:34 AM)

Phin I have to agree you have a point there. I guess there would equally have to be a term for Master( though not a sadist) as well. Personally I like the term Sir, best. But that's just me.



rulemylife -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 7:09:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

~FR~

[sm=2cents.gif][sm=sucks.jpg]

I had this conversation last night. People have to define everything. My girl is My girl, period. Does it matter what she is called? she is who she is, and I am who I am. Who gives a shit what its called? If I want to call her slave, I will, but she does not have to live up to your standtards. her job is to make my happy.

This whole things is a sore spot for me...

[sm=horse.gif][sm=alarm.gif]


Yeah, it does kind of matter.  It's a sore spot for me too, only for different reasons.  Truth in advertising.  I understand exactly what the OP is saying.  Look at the profiles of women who advertise themselves as slaves on here.  Hell, just look at those that call themselves submissive, 90% are anything but.  Most are pretty blunt and many vicious, telling exactly how you should dominate them, what you should like, the income level you should have, and how you should treat them when you're not dominating them.  Thank God I like dominant women, at least I know what I'm getting upfront. 



missturbation -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 7:11:51 AM)



quote:

This is a lot of qualifying and rationalizing but the fact is you are a slave or not a slave.

And in my relationships there are only two people who have the right to decide if i am a slave or not. The definition of my Sir and myself are the only ones that count in my personal relationship.
 
quote:

 You can make up your own definitions for the term but go to any dictionary and there is only one. 

Every dictionary will have a differently worded version of the term slave.




1.
a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant.



2.
a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person: a slave to a drug.



3.
a drudge: a housekeeping slave.
According to dictionary.com
Now where does it say that due to being an asthma sufferer i still have to indulge in play that is detrimental to my health? Where does it say that i have to be a door mat? (term according to personal defintion of course)?

quote:

 Yes, if you are a slave you are a doormat, or any other thing your Owner wants you to be.

Really? According to whos definition of doormat? Yours? Well im sorry but your definition really doesnt count in my relationships.
 
quote:

 While you may have a "mind of your own" it is always subordinate to your Owner's will.  Anything less is not a slave, by definition.

Really? No exceptions? What if my owners will becomes abusive (possible)?
Again by whose definition am i not a slave? Yours? Well as i said before your definition really doesnt count in my personal relationships.

quote:

I've struggled with this myself.  I've lost someone I loved to serve.  While I'm been given the opportunity to return I've struggled with the sacrifices I would have to make. 

I hope this goes well for you.

quote:

Bottom line is you're not a slave "except when" or "but if", a slave, by definition, doesn't have that right. 

Your bottom line not mine. Your definition not mine.  


 



Lynnxz -> RE: You are not a slave and you are not alone! (5/24/2008 7:13:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

Yeah, it does kind of matter.  It's a sore spot for me too, only for different reasons.  Truth in advertising.  I understand exactly what the OP is saying.  Look at the profiles of women who advertise themselves as slaves on here.  Hell, just look at those that call themselves submissive, 90% are anything but.  Most are pretty blunt and many vicious, telling exactly how you should dominate them, what you should like, the income level you should have, and how you should treat them when you're not dominating them.  Thank God I like dominant women, at least I know what I'm getting upfront. 


Well, if you don't know what THEY like, and if THEY don't put their wants/needs out there, how the f are the two of you going to get along? It's going to come up at some point, I'd think right away would be good enough just to stop wasting time.

As far as the doormat thing goes, I'd think parasite would be a better word. They don't mean that they aren't submissive, they mean that they aren't going to lay their like a wet towel and make you do all the work.



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