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was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 1:28:25 PM   
jabi


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Ive been owned for the last three years and was honest, we only had online communication and dominiation. But due to postponement of him visiting as promised, I made a mistate and text someone a message which was wrongly directed to him and he was furious as he said he will not speak to me neither communicate with  but will only release me when he feels the time was right. The tone of his letters are full of hatred and bitterness which is unimaginable. He was a traveller as he would inform me whenever he was going out of his country and would never find time to come over to my country. We stay oceans apart and I think this was waisted time and I would have been owned by someone and maybe serving. Dont get me wrong, being with a person for so long, definately had bonded and loved him very much.

< Message edited by jabi -- 5/24/2008 1:35:59 PM >
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RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 1:30:52 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		So move on. case closed. You are released when you release yourself.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 1:32:36 PM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		No, you were not. Relationships across oceans rarely work a vanilla world,I can't imagine trying to "serve" someone from that far away.

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 1:34:56 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		move on hunny bunny - close it down.  it wont be easy i know, but once you hop back into search mode, youll be fine and youll end up having heaps of fun.  go for it.  time gone cant be got back, so make the most of whats ahead.

i cant comment about the text, if it was to another Dom or whatever, but seems to me youve answered youre own question anyway.  the guy travels the world but cant travel to you?  -

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 2:24:55 PM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		I just don't get this 'on-line' stuff.  It may be fun, even somewhat fulfilling, but it isn't sex, service, Dominance/submission--and certainly not love.
 
It's more akin to literature...pen-pals...

You answered your own question when you stated that he had time to travel the world, but never took the time to visit your country.

< Message edited by Floggings4You -- 5/24/2008 2:25:54 PM >

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 2:31:52 PM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Live and Learn--any good Dominant with that much time invested would take the time to communicate and understand--as you've been told---find someone new.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 2:47:50 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jabi

Ive been owned for the last three years and was honest, we only had online communication and dominiation.


Wrong indeed. 

(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 3:00:44 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jabi

We stay oceans apart and I think this was waisted time and I would have been owned by someone and maybe serving.


...geee..ya think?  (just chalk it up for experience and move on)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: was I wrong? - 5/24/2008 3:16:40 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Three years is a long time of building feelings, attachements and filling empty spots and it won't be easy to get over.  You can get over it though!  It is painful to lose someone you were close to and in a d/s situation, you might feel rather lost at times, but do hang in there, you can get through it!  This may serve to help you determine to be in person with someone and because you have lacked having those in person things, it helps build the determination to see that your next relationship is with someone you can actually spend time with.  Online and long distance is a challenge, but I have experienced it and know others have to, that when the time comes to meet... it just doesn't happen.

I do wish you well in a very painful time.  Hold on to the good memories and what you have gained in it all and spend some time mourning and healing and then you will be ready for finding someone worthy of all you wish to put into things and all you are giving.  Good luck!

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: was I wrong? - 5/25/2008 7:30:23 AM   
MissLily


Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		jabi, I understand you're feeling pain, and I'm sorry for that.

This being said, online only really is NOT a relationship. You have to keep in mind that even though you might have spent a lot of time chatting with that person, it was still a person hiding behind a screen. It can be very intense, but it's not real life, and you don't really get to know the person. What I'm getting at, is that you can project a lot of fantasy on a person you meet online. You end up thinking you know the person, but you really dont.

You got frustrated, he learned about it the wrong way, but oh well. You might very well have been justified in your anger. Might be normal for him to get angry in his turn, but it's up to him to behave as an adult.

Don't consider yourself still collar. His behaviour is questionable. You don't use a collar against someone...

So, move on, be happy and if you want to be fulfilled, why don't you look for someone RT.
Miss Lily

(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: was I wrong? - 5/25/2008 9:35:40 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jabi

Ive been owned for the last three years and was honest, we only had online communication and dominiation. But due to postponement of him visiting as promised, I made a mistate and text someone a message which was wrongly directed to him and he was furious as he said he will not speak to me neither communicate with  but will only release me when he feels the time was right. The tone of his letters are full of hatred and bitterness which is unimaginable. He was a traveller as he would inform me whenever he was going out of his country and would never find time to come over to my country. We stay oceans apart and I think this was waisted time and I would have been owned by someone and maybe serving. Dont get me wrong, being with a person for so long, definately had bonded and loved him very much.

This is your first post to collarme so welcome.
My advise is this: it all sounds rather convenient for this 'traveller' type to have a sub in every port. And yet he takes offence when he gets the slightest indication that you are communicating with anyone else? Now does that sound like power exchange or just downright zealous control?
There are no doubts you bonded with him and you loved him, love him. There's nothing wrong with loving someone. It will be a sad world when that becomes a truism.   However: free yourself and do not wait to be freed. Do not give him the satisfaction of his control mechanism.....what are you going to do....are you seriously going to wait, wait, wait, until he releases you? If you are then you are a far better masochist than even I am.
He will run true to form and want you back and might even apologise once you free yourself. I think I am aquainted with the type......
Release yourself.....and find a skin and bone relatioship, love and equality as a submissive.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/25/2008 9:38:10 AM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: was I wrong? - 5/25/2008 9:49:14 AM   
shannie


Posts: 200
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline 		I take a lesson from Caroline Lamb, who was obsessively in love with Lord Byron, and when he suddenly dropped her -- she went crazy with grief  and obsession (and acted upon it).

Years later she said (something to the effect of), "The greatest regret of my life is that I didn't gently let him go." 

If he wants to go (for whatever reason) ... gently let him go. Release yourself, and release him.  You will never regret doing that, even though it's very hard to do.



(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: was I wrong? - 5/25/2008 11:04:55 AM   
RipenReady


Posts: 35
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		No you weren't wrong.  Part of the relationship I was in was online mainly because we never really had time except for one day every other week to see each other.  Even though I didn't see him as often as I wanted we still talked and I still served him whether it was in person or online.  I can't speak on serving completely online because I don't believe I would be able to do that.  It's hard enough when the person only lives a few miles away.  You'll get over it eventually and move on to someone better.  Good luck.

(in reply to shannie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: was I wrong? - 5/25/2008 12:20:10 PM   
jabi


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Hello Prinsexx.

I really appreciated your response, that has really given me a chance to find myself and move on with life, though naturally it will take some time to heal. You really hit the nail on the head.

Regards Jabi

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: was I wrong? - 5/25/2008 12:34:03 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		you do not have to wait for this man to release you,He is full of crap.Dump Him and move on .

(in reply to jabi)
Profile   Post #: 15
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