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RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 6:46:31 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

most of which I dont really understand except for the ones that are either illegal or just plain sick like eating shit............
Master Six


Some of those "sick" things are other people's kink. My hard limits don't change and will not change. They are things that I feel strongly about not doing...and yes, if a Dom tried to force any of the hard limits it would most likely end our relationship. Luckily, I've been able to place those limits to the side, since I belong to a Master that shares the same limit list.

I think people tend to confuse hard limits and soft limits as the same thing.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 7:24:12 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I had a nice long reply all thought out and then ES2 said it all in two sentences. Limits are set by people for the relationship they are currently in. Those can change or 'adjust' in some cases but they are there for their own comfort level.

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RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 7:33:07 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

i personally dont know about setting of limits as i have never set any limits with Master. <shrugs> It seems to make some ppl feel safer. More power to them.


Its the same for me in my current relationship. I strive to have no limits set for my owner (which isn't always easy since we aren't perfectly matched). By virtue of his personality and our structure everything is so much smoother and easier without trying to put up boundaries and limits on what he can or cannot do.

But I definitely have limits that would exist for anyone else. For instance pictures taken of me either naked or in a BDSM context are a hard limit for everyone *except* my owner.

C~

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RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 7:37:16 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		In my opinion, you are still making an artificial connection between limits and control.

Limits on sex acts, for example, very much depend on whom you are acting with. Control isn't really a factor, as much as trust and compatibility. Limits might change, based on what the dominant teaches the submissive.

Being called a whore, and not wanting your butt fondled in public ... to use your examples, I wouldn't call limits ... just something that someone doesn't care for. You aren't going to "teach" someone to like something they don't like, and they will probably never understand how you could think that doing something you know they don't like, somehow gives you power or control.

I happen to not like being called a whore, and detest having my butt fondled in public. Neither one turns me on, as a matter of fact both are major turn offs. Why would any guy want to turn me off ... I'm much more fun when turned on.

I have a question for you ... and please take this in the spirit intended.

Do some dominants really feel the need to break someone's limits or do things they know the other party doesn't enjoy ... just to feel in control?

If so, are they really in control of anything?

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 9:38:25 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You aren't going to "teach" someone to like something they don't like,


Yes you can.

D (owner of j)

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Possibly.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:00:15 AM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		It's interesting HOW much you can teach someone to like something they formerly didn't.


Those who think it cannot happen,simply have not had it happen to THEM.

(in reply to Wolfie648)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:14:18 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

No not really to be honest she was against poly when we first met and she begged for my collar...she has experienced many htings with me that she thought impossible....we werent a perfect match by any means.....I trained her....in essence I taught her where My loyalities where and where I expected hers to be.........she was an emotional wreck from two previous Masters and one previous Mistress............now she is an emotionally secure slave that serves without hestitation to my wants and needs.........this is about honor...she is property nothing more nothing less...she had hard knocks and alot of misinformed persons that showed her things that are not part of this lifestyle...

Master Six


_____________________________
quote:

ORIGINAL: Belladonna82

Hello Sir Justatop,

Master and i are far from the perfect match...we were and are so diffrent...In the beginging You should have known us......Master was a Gorean Poly Master....and i was a submissive who had just been released from a Mistress.In the begining i didnt want poly...hell i refused poly...i saw it as cheating....i was a stingy woman who had a submissive old fashion nature but none the less was attracted to his ways and wanted to learn more.Master took me under his wings and explained that the things i refused were limits....emotional at that because of past relations.It took months of him pressing them for me to let go and just trust he had my best interest in mind and wouldnt let my emotional rollercoster go off track.Do i still like the idea of poly u may ask....lol NO....its not on my top todo list,but i will yield to Masters ways,no accept them...but trust Him that no matter what as long as i bow before Him...he will work me and train me to release that emotional hold i try to keep a firm grasp on.Master found a young...nieve girl who believed in the old ways and molded her into his desires.....i was like a peice of clay...and have just reached the fire kettle and have harded into a beautiful peice of art made by Master.A slave is a slave....nothing more....but with the right Masters hand molding....she can be what ever he wishes.....
This is how Master has created me....i trust...not accept.

Forever in servitude,
bella
*Proud kajira of SirSix72*


Hi Guys,
My Master is an Old Guard Master. He also has taught me in the protocol of his house of thunder. There are many things I sacrifice of my own choice or pleasure, as it's pleasing to my Master. He also molds our lives the way he sees fit. I would not question his authority over our lives and I want to please him as my focus in life.

Much like you bella, it's been about finding the correct clay worker in my Master that has turned my servitude into a glorious useful vessel. I've done many things my heart and mind said no to that I accepted without fuss as my Master ask it of me too. I know anything my Master will ask will be something I can and will do as he has a lesson of my betterment in it for me.

I still say for BDSM slaves under an honor & integrity oriented Master have basically the same deal as it is for a kajira in her home.

The thing is, just like there are people clinging to the fringe of the cloth laid on the table in BDSM there are the same immature Masters in Gor making it bad for the honorable ones.

I think in the whole scheme of Dominant Men/ submissive woman there are many who try to assume control as they have no control of themselves and think this is the way to have their selfish needs met.

Real Gorean or Old Guard Masters are Mature Leaders, not emotional cripples. It's the wanna be's that make it bad from either perspective.
If you focus on the trained and experienced Masters the answers are mostly the same as far as relationship dynamics.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Belladonna82)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:19:43 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		i always thought a Dom was supposed to push limits

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

In my opinion, you are still making an artificial connection between limits and control.

Limits on sex acts, for example, very much depend on whom you are acting with. Control isn't really a factor, as much as trust and compatibility. Limits might change, based on what the dominant teaches the submissive.

Being called a whore, and not wanting your butt fondled in public ... to use your examples, I wouldn't call limits ... just something that someone doesn't care for. You aren't going to "teach" someone to like something they don't like, and they will probably never understand how you could think that doing something you know they don't like, somehow gives you power or control.

I happen to not like being called a whore, and detest having my butt fondled in public. Neither one turns me on, as a matter of fact both are major turn offs. Why would any guy want to turn me off ... I'm much more fun when turned on.

I have a question for you ... and please take this in the spirit intended.

Do some dominants really feel the need to break someone's limits or do things they know the other party doesn't enjoy ... just to feel in control?

If so, are they really in control of anything?



_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:34:37 AM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		Each relationship is differant. For my slave I still do not know if she had any 'limits' nor what they might be, I simply told her if I were to take her as my slave, she would not be allowed any limits except my own and I only have one which is no scat. (I have a strong stomache but not that strong). If she couldn't agree then I would not take her. She had questions obviously which I answered and we live togetehr today. Wether she adapted her limits or she gave up hers for my own do not know, but it has worked for us.

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Those who can make you believe absurdities
can make you commit atrocities.
—Voltaire

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong
—Voltaire

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:36:21 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		hello again litttle one,

I know you are sub curious and I enjoy the questions you have for me so I take no disrespect in what you ask me on anything.........this is about pushing those emotional attachments that you so dearly cling to...this is called emotional growth...again this is a two way street that we all whom life the lifestyle pride ourselves on.....

1. if you are selfish with yourself then you will be selfish with everyone and not true to anyone in the same token
2. just because you view something you dont like as being a limit dosent mean that with time and the right approach to training you will learn to like it and experience the emotions from it unlike anything you have ever experienced before
3. there are various forms of traing someone to like something they thought was bad before...this again is the approach used by some of us that have been around a while and are willing to take the time and effort to show you thats its ok to be really kinky
take a close look at what plantlady64 had to say about this subject and bella as well they are prime examples of those who live with honor and have found honorable Masters to serve
this lifestyle is about emotional growth on everyones part...the longer you are around and talk with those that used to have reservations about certian things and since the wonderful training they recieved from emotionally stable Owners they have learned new behaviours or modes of play....read the thread I started about your not my Dom syndrome.....many find this distestable including the Dom's...look at the way they come across many of them are very jealous and in turn emotionally unstable with their partners or surroundings.........trust is the key to this to know where each of your loyalties lie within the relationship dynamic and giving the total control to another "trusting" that this person has you best interest in mind not matter the situation you are faced with......

Master Six

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I wish you well

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:36:26 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
i always thought a Dom was supposed to push limits

Only if he/she wants to. And that's only if you use the idea of "soft limits."

For me it's a limit or it's not. If I play with a dom, I have a limit of using condoms for sex. That's NOT something that should be pushed.

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 10:40:56 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		bravo little one safe sex is "first always"

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I wish you well

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 11:13:57 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

take a close look at what plantlady64 had to say about this subject and bella as well they are prime examples of those who live with honor and have found honorable Masters to serve

Hello SirSix72,
Thank your for seeing I do indeed have a wonderful Master that leads us in honor. I appreciate your comment greatly Sir.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 11:40:47 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Wait a second. Bella says she's your kajira. So this means you're announcing that you're an honorable master?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

take a close look at what plantlady64 had to say about this subject and bella as well they are prime examples of those who live with honor and have found honorable Masters to serve


(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 11:47:29 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Wait a second. Bella says she's your kajira. So this means you're announcing that you're an honorable master?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

take a close look at what plantlady64 had to say about this subject and bella as well they are prime examples of those who live with honor and have found honorable Masters to serve



Hello There,
My two cents says No, he says bella and I say we have honerable Masters. Did you think he forced bella to speak for him or something?
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 11:48:51 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		He said you and bella are prime examples of people who have found honorable masters.

He is bella's master.

Doesn't that mean he's saying he is an honorable master? Not that it matters, or anything, but usually when people say nice laudatory things like that, they're not referring to THEMSELVES.

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 11:53:27 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		gottas love the stick and move thing you have going on or the kamakazi approach you have most of the time...LAM come on guy get it together...im not here to flame you but you seem to have it out for me...cool beans no peanuts for you....Farmout Dude

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I wish you well

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 11:58:15 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Yup. Looks like I was right.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 1:12:53 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

bravo little one safe sex is "first always"


This is strange.

This is a reply to ES2 - who has clearly stated (perhaps in another thread?) specifically to this "gentleman" that being referred to as "little one" by a stranger is offensive.

How is this not rude?

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The setting of limits - 10/24/2005 1:16:12 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

bravo little one safe sex is "first always"


This is strange.

This is a reply to ES2 - who has clearly stated (perhaps in another thread?) specifically to this "gentleman" that being referred to as "little one" by a stranger is offensive.

How is this not rude?

I have indeed in previous threads noted that I consider it rude to be called such by random people.

When my NOVA partner calls me "his little albatross" however, I swoon. We have an established relationship.

However, Six made this post BEFORE I specifically replied to him in another thread today mentioning that a lot of people don't like that reference. It's perfectly possible he has seen none of my previous statements to this, and was unaware that it could be considered presumptuous and thus rude.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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