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the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 11:02:22 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		my M'Lady has a odd schedule and so i cant be with her all the time. on the nights that i cant she has assigned me to answer 5 threads here this to get me a better understanding of the lifestyle and so she gets a better idea of who i am as a submissive. lately i have not been so attentive to this from outside stresses car problems her SO deploying to Korea and now my imminent deployment to Iraq.
sometimes W/we lose track of the basics that ground us in the lifestyle,  all the confusion causes us to become lax and distracted requiring a refocusing of sorts to get our Bering back.
any others here have similar happen to them when stressed or busy?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 11:25:16 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, life sucks when it invades our fun time--however, I find I have to push harder--so I use time like this as a reward for Me---one work task, 10 minutes online----one work task--an email out the door---kne has to work very hard to keep the sands of time from filling up the space we make.
 


_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 11:51:58 AM   
dragon2760


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline 		Life sucks doesn't it.  But i do know what you mean.  It is very easy to get distracted.  Between my Mistress's work schedule, my work schedule, and my parenting time with my kids, Mistress and i only have limited time together.  So depending on what has gone on during the week or even the day we are to see each other it can be hard for me to focus.  A little ritual that my Mistress has me do, to help with that, is that i take a shower upon arriving at her place and that gives me a few minutes to focus.  i know that this may not answer your question and as of yet Mistress has not assigned me any outside activities, she has hinted at them though, but when she does i do see from that that i will need to develope my own little ritual for their completion.

i'm sorry to hear about all that is going on for you and your mistress and i do wish y'all all the best.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 1:44:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		This is the essence of why I am so averse to having regular standing rules, rituals, schedules of tasks.  I find life abhors regularity above all else.  And with everything else to deal with, remembering lists of rules, numbers of tasks, and following up on them just takes away more energy than it provides.

However, some people are exactly the opposite- they find lists of rules, numbers of tasks and following up on them GIVES more focus and energy to their lives.

No matter what, life will try and fuck it up.  You have to find a balance, you have to know that no matter what rules or regulations exist, the dynamic will flow through all.  If you break down because you didn't get all your eggs in a basket by the end of the day, that is no good.  And if you never care about having eggs in a basket, that is no good either.

Find the balance that works for you- the ACTS are simply expressions of the inner dynamic at play.  It only means something unless you give it meaning. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to dragon2760)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 2:23:16 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Yes. I find that our home, um's, family, His job, and my school work take precedence over the lifestyle stuff. It would be nice to live in playland, but, the bills have to get paid, and the house in order first...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 3:30:49 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		My answer will be different than some of the others.  The whole reason my Master gives me such assignments is to keep me steady when life becomes chaotic.  I have rituals I do nightly, and so far, through the worst of times - family death, ugly divorce, job loss, losing my home - I do these rituals nightly.  It's a way of meditating on him at hte end of my day, and keeps me balanced.  The writing assignments I am given are just as important, because they keep me focused.  It's when life gets chaotic that we are most vulnerable and most susceptible to lose our focus.  That's when problems within the relationship really come about.

I have come to discover life is made up of priorities.  Is doing the dishes more important than doing the rituals my Master expects me to do?  I get to decide that, and I get to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.  If I choose to do the dishes, I don't get to fall asleep with a peaceful heart, and I have a disappointed Master.  If I choose to do my rituals, then I have dirty dishes to do in the morning.  It's all a balance.  Not always easy, but still a matter of priorities.

I wish you well.  I know things are stressful right now.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 4:17:51 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
However, some people are exactly the opposite- they find lists of rules, numbers of tasks and following up on them GIVES more focus and energy to their lives.


Hey, that is me!!!!  When life starts to get overwhelming and stressful, one of the best things I can do for myself is to start focusing even more on the standing rules and protocols that he has set up.  The structure helps ground me and keeps me focused on what is the most important in my life.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 9:17:59 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

However, some people are exactly the opposite- they find lists of rules, numbers of tasks and following up on them GIVES more focus and energy to their lives.


This is me.  While we don't have a ton of rules and tasks, I am well aware of Master's expectations and this does tend to focus me rather than overwhelm me.  I am learning to prioritize, as ownedgirlie said - is it the task or the dishes which gets done?  I know I've chosen unwisely in the past and am trying to make better choices.

And yes, OP - real life does get in the way.  I try and keep Master apprised of what is going on with me (even things that don't seem important to me) so that he can make informed decisions.  As usual ... communication is key.  Which is something else I'm working on. 

Good luck - I hope the rough patch smooths out for you soon. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/25/2008 10:21:15 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		In my case, when life gets hectic, Angel disappears. He will go days, weeks and somtimes has gone months without beig able to make time to see me. I do not bother with assignments becasue i know he wont have the time for them and all that happens is he gets disapointed with himself for not completing them and when we are together he is depressed. Our reality means I ahve to be extremely flexible when it comes to availability. He is worth the frusteration... usually.



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/26/2008 7:28:55 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i thank all of you who took the time to respond to my thread it is comforting to know that there are others with similar dilemmas

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/26/2008 8:00:35 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I like the idea of someone focusing on me at the end of the day...or the beginning of the day!  But the real reason I don't give a lot of assignments is that I just don't have the time, energy, or inclination to follow up on the bloody things, let alone think them up in the first place!  Oftentimes, the assignments clog up MY life, and that's never good.  

I admire folks who have the self knowledge to know what centers them!  I think that those people are also internally motivated to do those things, follow those rituals, make those phone calls.  (do I mention here that the ones who spoke up are female?  <G>) 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/26/2008 8:18:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I wanted to come along and thank those of you who had comments, realizing that the idea behind these requirements is/was focus.  It has more to do with concentration and settling than anything else.  A few minutes to focus, for a few minutes, on the submissive within.  Something that can easily be taken for granted.  I want him in touch with that each day, in some form.  I am glad to see that some people might view it that way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/27/2008 5:11:28 AM   
xbutterflyx


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		After a long day of being a single mom, and dealing with my career...it is awesome to sit and work on something that either he assigned me to do or something he mentioned and i do it on my own, It helps me to feel my submissiveness to him even though we aren't physically together at those moments. Assignment time is for him but in a way it's me time too.



smile bunches...xx

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/27/2008 8:08:37 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We throw out the busy work when it causes more problems than it solves. And we focus on reconnecting to each other.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to xbutterflyx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/27/2008 1:13:18 PM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		Can i ever relate to the "odd schedule"!  And to make it even more frustrating i'm the one responsible of keeping track and Her ON schedule. LOL.  Umm ok...
 
I can see both sides of the "assignment coin" debate; however, that doesn't change the fact that i am a very "assignment centered" person. Since Mistress is extremely busy and Her "free" time is so very unpredictable, having assignments gives me something to do/focus on when She is busy.  On the other hand, knowing She will most likely not have time/energy left to *check on* those assignment, in fact She is more likely to forget about them opens the door for frustration. 
 
After several years of trial and error we finally came up with something that does work for us.  The one "task" i have daily, without fail is my journal.  I keep it in email and add to it daily.  On Saturday, i summarize the week and send it to Her.  She has the weekend to (find time lol) review it and reply. She adds to the reply a list of things She wishes me to accomplish the following week.  If i've been having trouble with any particular area, She may assign an essay along with tasks for my week.  Some tasks include scheduling appointments, working on Her accounts, cleaning, errands or simply being at Her house at a specific time/day (when She knows She'll be available).   Now, none of these tasks/assignments are to done at any set time or in any set way.  Allowing flexibilty and use of my own judgement to accomplish them. 
 
Perhaps in your case, with the five post assignment...... The time you DO have to reply, perhaps finding a few more and copying the original post/printing it/putting it into an email draft to have at hand in case you find 15 minutes of free time?  I know there are times i come across posts that i wish Mistress was available to discuss, in those cases i email Her a link to the post so the next time we're online together it's there and i don't have to go digging for it. 
 
The most important thing right now is to enjoy the time you have together,  and remember, tasks aren't the most important thing, it's what is in your heart that matters above all. 
 
My best to you and Lady Pact at this stressful time. 

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: the importance of completing assignments - 5/27/2008 2:05:21 PM   
Puppy4goodHome


Posts: 1448
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
Status: offline 		Things happen in life and you have to take them as they roll
there are things that just compete with out life wich is hard to live with at times
and couses us to not be able to complete our tasks on time wish i know is hard if i am ever given a task to do and if i cant get it done and it is somthing that i know i can do but cant do it becouse of things going wrong it hurts inside to not be able to get it done


_____________________________

Pup on the loose better watch out

ross.g
Puppster
puppy

(in reply to softpjOS)
Profile   Post #: 16
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