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Mercnbeth -> RE: Pleasure Providing Doms (5/27/2008 12:50:31 PM)
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~ Fast Reply ~
If playing with a slave or submissive required that I analyzed every action to consider if I were providing pleasure to my partner/victim; I'd consider it 'work' and quit my involvement with WIITWD and instead join the professional Wii bowling tour.
Didn't read many previous posts, but I trust someone brought up the idea of partnership compatibility? Ideally you have some level of compatibility with the person on the other side of the flogger. It could be basic and sensation oriented or a broad brush stoke of some level of masochism with an compatible amount of sadism. The majority of people I encounter express pleasure, immaterial of their preference; they just want someone other than themselves to 'play'.
On some level every 'degrading', 'disgusting', 'perverted', third person association to things and activities between a Dominant and a submissive provided some "pleasure" to the submissive. Even should the specific act be on the borderline of exceeding a limit, or if it is an act stretching the limit, never to be attempted again - the submissive's "pleasure" can be simply that it served. As amazing as it may be to some people there are people who do derive pleasure from serving. Amazingly there are also masochists who process a welt raising caning as "pleasure". Should I, as a sadist not enjoy inflicting the caning, or avoid an opportunity to have my slave serve me because she may experience some form of "pleasure" as a result? Who would that serve? Damn! I searched all my life for a person who was always ready to 'play' and awaited the next opportunity to serve. What's the logic having found one to toss her away? I couldn't imaging myself 5 years ago after a few hours with beth and saying; "Damn woman, you have an amazing sex drive and potentially you can be as equally perverted as me. Not only that you seem to want to experience ALL the things I love. Too bad you get pleasure from it. Its a shame, but I'm a Dom and I could risk getting tossed out of the 'Dom-Union' if people found out I provided you pleasure. So again - sorry and Good-bye!" [sm=rofl.gif]
The same holds true in the less esoteric pursuits; whether it be a place to travel, a style of living, or a certain food. Personally, I define "suffering", the opposite of pleasure, as not being in the company of my slave. Having the opportunity for her to join me in a business trip eliminates that suffering. The fact that she may enjoy the trip, whether its to Europe or North Hollywood isn't part of my decision to take her.
In my opinion I think the Master/Dom should seek opportunities for providing pleasure. Establishing that the Dominant has that ability is very important to a relationship; whether long term or play session at a local dungeon. A favorite presenter of ours, Skip Casey, conducts a wonderful seminar on the subject called 'The Servant Master'. The Master has the control of pleasure he doesn't forgo an activity because the sub may be pleasured by it. The pleasure is used to train, to confirm, to establish more control. More important its used to build, maintain, and grow the relationship. Giving pleasure to a partner is also a source of confidence. Being compatible, and providing through complimentary sensations the ultimate pleasure orgasm, whether mental, or literal, is Dominance at its best.
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