Confused.. Helpppp... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

xboarder -> Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 3:27:49 PM)

Hi everyone...

I joined this site a week or so ago. I contacted some people and we got talking. It has not escallated to talking on MSN, but I am having a hard time figuring out what 'relationship' i have with the person. Some are Dommes which is fine, because that is what i am looking for, but it seems like a struggle to start and keep a conversation, not from my part, but mainly the other person.
I am looking for friendship at the moment and something more if it gets there.
I am having a hard time articulating my confusion, but it's mainly confusion as to what to do next, because I'd definately like to talk to the people more and meet them in the near future....
ANY and ALL help is appreciated because I'm just a confused little newbie...
Take care
-xB



ownedjulia -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 3:32:14 PM)

I'd say you have a casual talking online relationship.

After a week of being on here and chatting to a few people I would not expect any great 'relationship'!!!

Just relax, chat, enjoy, post on the message boards and let things take thier own course of action.




bronxboy -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 3:41:03 PM)

Trust me, take your time and find what you are looking for, Dont rush into anything....



xboarder -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 3:41:23 PM)

Your right, I do have some expectations and that's what is causing my greef. I got out of a 'bad' vanilla relationship about 2.5 months ago, and I guess I am on rebound you could say. I am just looking to connect with someone, but i'm being over anxious, and there is no cure for that.
Getting turned down, or all the fakes out there isn't helping my case either... *sigh*
I am real 100% real, and really hoping to connect with someone real, but am i setting my expectations to high?



ownedjulia -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 4:11:59 PM)

quote:

I am real 100% real, and really hoping to connect with someone real, but am i setting my expectations to high?


No your not but don't set a time limit either!!! It's not a race.

There ARE a lot of fakes out there as you have discovered and so have any potential match so you have GOT to expect that they will be wary



Quivver -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 4:38:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: xboarder

Your right, I do have some expectations and that's what is causing my greef. I got out of a 'bad' vanilla relationship about 2.5 months ago, and I guess I am on rebound you could say. I am just looking to connect with someone, but i'm being over anxious, and there is no cure for that.
Getting turned down, or all the fakes out there isn't helping my case either... *sigh*
I am real 100% real, and really hoping to connect with someone real, but am i setting my expectations to high?


rebound huh?
yea that sucks......
online fills that loneliness gap for tons of people.
Kinda sad, but better then nothing as it seems.
I’d almost have to guess your new
To online, expecting more then it really is out of it all.
And if you’ve come in contact with someone with some
History online they are taking you with a grain of
Salt at the moment. (IMHO) …….
I’d like to suggest that you take time for You.
Do things You want to do, treat You to some of your
favorite things, get out, go places If at all possible.
Then when you go online maybe some part of you that
is feeling this break up wont be as hungry.

Good luck to you.
Q



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 6:43:53 PM)

Have fun, relax, and talk to folks. There are MANY wonderful people on this forum. There some really major assholes, too! (sometimes, they are the same people.......)

I have talked to several guys on the rebound, on this site and others. I know I am an old lady, but I think the whole post-breakup thing is a red flag for the young women too. You are not the best material for a new relationship until you have gotten over the other one. I haven't read your profile, but I do advise you to NOT mention the past in there.....no one wants to compete with the OTHER who is not in the picture.

When it comes down to it, nothing beats getting out of the house and meeting people. See who is on here from your own area, and hook up for coffee. Nothing ventured, as they say!

:)Ms F



fyreredsub -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 6:49:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver


quote:

ORIGINAL: xboarder

Your right, I do have some expectations and that's what is causing my greef. I got out of a 'bad' vanilla relationship about 2.5 months ago, and I guess I am on rebound you could say. I am just looking to connect with someone, but i'm being over anxious, and there is no cure for that.
Getting turned down, or all the fakes out there isn't helping my case either... *sigh*
I am real 100% real, and really hoping to connect with someone real, but am i setting my expectations to high?


rebound huh?
yea that sucks......
online fills that loneliness gap for tons of people.
Kinda sad, but better then nothing as it seems.
I’d almost have to guess your new
To online, expecting more then it really is out of it all.
And if you’ve come in contact with someone with some
History online they are taking you with a grain of
Salt at the moment. (IMHO) …….
I’d like to suggest that you take time for You.
Do things You want to do, treat You to some of your
favorite things, get out, go places If at all possible.
Then when you go online maybe some part of you that
is feeling this break up wont be as hungry.

Good luck to you.
Q


great point quivver.........someone seeming hungry or needy ,well it'll scare alot away



MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 7:18:11 PM)

As others have said use patience at all times and when you are chating to others just do it as friends to get to know them and they you,just normal everyday things and joys as well as sad things so everyone slowly builds a picture of the other and their lives.
Over time just ease into a subject and chat on just the one not a heap in one go explore that one first then another,this will give you a good idea of their real or shit standing.
But do use caution at all times especially if you finally decide that whom ever is the right one and arrangements are made to meet them.



anopheles -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/24/2005 8:24:26 PM)

To reply and add to MissDiandSirHugh:


Be especially careful when you are in an emotional vulnerable state, and looking for something that will complete you, there are those out there, particularly in the online arena, that will try to take advantage of you if they since that you will settle. Never, ever, settle. And never compromise with what you are looking for, just for the sake of having something. In the end, it won't be as rewarding as waiting for what works for everyone involved.

--Anopheles



OscarHargraves -> RE: Confused.. Helpppp... (10/25/2005 8:35:40 AM)

Hi Xboarder,

The others (above) are right. Take your time, relax, be yourself and enjoy the boards without expecting anything. Then maybe you'll be happily surprised one day.

I can't reaqlly add anything to what has already been said but you can contact me if you just want to 'e-talk' to someone. I don't know if I can help but I can listen.



Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125