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metalmiss -> RE: the dynamic you (5/27/2008 5:45:30 PM)
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Our relationship..
To give it a label for definition Our relationship would be described as lifestyle poly 24/7 TPE. Right down to the letter, no written contracts & no need for them as the only right i reserve is the right to withdraw my consent with the understanding that such a decision is a one way street, a right which has to be there in order for there to be consent at all.
i am a girl who can rightly say that she has no limits.. Because i don't. my right to limits was given with my consent.. Any limits that exist within our relationship are His not mine.
He owned me practically from the moment we met, it took as long as meeting me from the bus stop directly outside His flat, then having a cigarette together, to Him being in my head before i had even sat down to drink the coffee i had been invited over for, in order to discuss what potential there was for Us to become casual play partners. Which is fast for either of Us.. Considering i technically moved in that day, as i never went home. But 6 months later i'm certainly not one to knock something that works this well. *smiles*
His role..
He is my Master, my Daddy, my Owner, my One and much more besides.
The only Person to whom i submit & the only One to whom i consider myself to owe anything in that regard. He controls because He cares & cares through His control. He has a duty of care with any part of my life, and can often be heard to say that He would never harm me.. But there's a whole world of hurt before you get close to harm.. *shudders*
He accepts the responsibility that my submission brings and all of the even seemingly independent "decisions" i make in my day to day life are accountable to Him, no matter what they might be. As my Daddy He provides an outlet for the little girl aspect of me in a natural way, nurturing, warm & strong. His presence, caring, control & consistency in all things provide me with the inspiration, drive & security that i need as a slave in the real world to feel safe, secure & push the world outside to achieve my best.
A natural Dominant to the core, i would say in certain, often frequent moments He is the most terrifying Man i have ever met.. There is a fire in His eyes which betrays a distinctly feral side to His nature.. A beast lurking behing that bone chilling stare (it needs to be seen to be believed) which He keeps tightly controlled for the sake of both Himself and this girl.. A glimmer which provokes the duality deep within my core.
He is a sadist, but not in what most would consider the "traditional" sense.. It's not the actual inflicting of pain which He takes His enjoyment from, but the reactions on my side that the pain gives to Him. As such this is not entirely limited to pain by any means, and it is something He uses for His enjoyment daily, sometimes in the most subtle ways, other times literally ripping the reactions He so desires from me, be they good or bad they are always tailored by Him for His pleasure.
my role..
i am His slave, girl, Daddy's little girl, slut, bitch, toy, object, property.. And many more besides should He choose to address or view me as such. i am vulnerable to Him in all ways, at all times, while engaging Him in intelligent conversation & banter.. But never crossing the line or pushing Him far enough to invoke punishment or worse.. Disappointment.. Often a fine line to tread for a girl who was once viewed by many as a brat, because she spent so long looking for somebody who would push back.
i acknowledge on all levels His control even when i am not in His presence, all small aforementioned decisions are made with what i know of His preferences in mind. Within His household, my duties are of course to be pleasing to Him, with my attitude, presence, actions, tone, dress, also to ensure that His home itself is kept in a manner that is pleasing to Him, i strive to achieve these things. When i have an issue, it is expected of me to address it with Him immediately, openness and communication are considered vital within our Dynamic.. Without complete openness it just wouldn't work.. When all of these things fit together in harmony, i provide for Him the most important aspect of any life, happiness.
i am a slave, something i was never confident in labeling myself as before, but i have come to now recognise, because i had up until 6 months ago, never met a Man who could touch the depths that would force me to recognise the truth of what i am. Within that i have come to acknowledge and believe that this overwhelming aspect of how i identify as a person is the result of both nature and nurture.
i am a masochist, i enjoy the pain He gives me, i feed on the pleasure that my own humiliation brings, even though i am often too shy to openly admit it.. Just another level of duality that He loves so much. i am yet to find a limit to my own ability to recieve where my masochistic aspect is concerned, i am looking forward to the future, as He slowly pushes me ever closer, though never really reaches His own limit where pain concerned.. Harm.
Why it works for me..
As a slave i need boundaries, control, restrictions, direction, inspiration, these are things which He provides me with in abundance. Without these things, before We found each other, my life was in complete disarray, i was unstable and insecure in myself.. Lacking in confidence.. Our relationship, His control, gave to me the stability i needed to believe in myself, i thrive on it and He actively builds me up and makes me stronger. It is something that completes me. It works simply because it is who we are, there are no acts here, no secrets and no lies. There is no time off for either of us, no brief break to catch our breath when the world gets on top of us and we feel like today we just "can't be bothered". But that's the best thing about it.. It's a challenge every day, we seem to live between one engaging moment or the next within a connection that is so intense that play really does just become the icing on the cake.
xx
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