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Bumbum -> RE: What is the real difference between a sub and a slave? (7/26/2004 5:26:00 AM)
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You have to ask the person what it means for them.
If you go by some preset definition then you will always be wrong.
Yes, you can make assumptions, but even that gets you into erroneous waters.
Who says a slave has to be submissive or a submissive has to be a slave?
There are aggressive slaves that will attempt to top if given the slightest toe hold.
I think you need to define the terms with your intended audience, otherwise they are one in the same yet also completely different.
We can't actually own human beings. This is sexuality known as role playing. Sexuality is the tree. Everyone is unique in their sexuality. Role Playing is the main branch. BDSM is the branch of the tree we are talking about. And you getinto the same semantic arguments when asking what is the difference between D/s and SM or BD? What do you call a Master that likes to get spanked? What do you call a Mistress that like to be raped? Fact is this is not black and white.
Typically submissive denoted personality, or aspects of a personality. The CEO might very well be aggressive, assertive, calculating, controlling, even ruthless, yet he may be sexually submissive and perhaps is a dog at home? Then you may have a person that is submissive in everything that they are and do. Still they may not be a slave.
Typically slave denotes property. A person that wishes to become another's property, and this may be associated with giving up one's humanity, and if not to that degree, accepting a lower status. Some people want to be comlete equals, except during the expression of their sexuality.
Some people want to live the roles they choose to play. This is choosing an alternative lifestyle. To live in an adult world of pretend and come to beleive it is reality. Others want a balance of role play and normality. And then others limit dominance and submission just to their sexual experiences. So many people, and just as many twists and takes.
If you do assume, I think it is usually safe to assume that a submissive would or could do anything a slave would or could do. And with that being the situation I don't think you can judge seriousness, depth, degree or extremity by a person identifying themselves as a sub or slave. But I do think people identify themselves one way or another because of basic fundamentals to their make-up as a person.
I think subs are more of the mind set of here, this is what I am willing to give to you, use it wisely and with care and you may get more. While they will give up, surrender, submit, they reserve the right to do as they please, when they please.
Still there is no depth or limit a sub cannot go, if she/he chooses.
I think slaves are more of the mindset that they choose to give their choice to another within their own set of limits.
And yes, you can definitiely be a submissive slave. Some people are not slave and are not submissive. Yet they want to be dominated, made to be submissive, even forced into slavery.
Keeping in mind that everyone is consentual to the adult roles and games they play. A lot of people like to play. Some are very experienced, skillful, serious players that have forgotten that they are engaged in play. Others don't even play, but enjoy the titallation of BDSM flirtations.
So it comes down to you still have to talk to the person and find out what they are into and all about. It doesn't mean that the lifestyler and the dabbler can't have some fun. You never know who is right for you, and if not right, just good for you, in one way or the other. But how do you know if you never talk to people that might not be expressing the same interests, or have the same knowledge or wisdoms that you possess, unless you try and get a volley of e-mail messages going?
Maybe that 19 year old slave is the best thing for the 57 year old divorced woman just discovering BDSM?
Perhaps that chubby, bald funny looking 48 year old sub will make that 28 hot psycho bitch from hell content and stable?
Maybe the role is Mommy/Daddy Son/Daughter and while their very well maybe corporal discipline and power exchange, it may have no real elements of BDSM?
Of couse we have all heard of switches. Well both kinds, birch and those that are both submiisve and Dominant.
A slave and a sub can mean so many different things. A sub can mean so many differnet things. A slave can mean so many diffeent things. They can be to any degree. So how can we ask what the differences are in general terms and hope to even be right in specific instances?
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