Letting a long time sub go

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Letting a long time sub go - 10/25/2005 11:40:28 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
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I've read a couple of profiles here where women start by saying they have just let their sub go after a year, two years etc. (I haven't checked but probably this goes for male Doms too) I'm just beginning a relationship with a woman who let Her sub go after 18 months.

What sorts of things have led you want to let someone go after that long a period?

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RE: Letting a long time sub go - 10/25/2005 12:45:09 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Incompatibility.

While My subs needs and wishes remain paramount for both short term sessions and long term sustainability, (see previous threads re: Doms conforming to subs wishes), at some point in any relationship I ask Myself if My needs are truly being met. If and when the answer is no, it's time to re-evaluate priorities.

I strive to meet My subs needs, wants, desires, secret longings, but I refuse to do so at the cost of My own fulfillment. A submissive has to demonstrate a sincere desire to meet My needs on a daily basis. I may forego My own needs if and when I choose to do so, but the sub's desire to please must be there above all else.

Sometimes it becomes evident at the outset; sometimes it takes 18 months, 2 years or longer for that to become apparrent. My personal opinion is that this is due to behavior being skewed towards that 'best behavior' at the outset phenomenon; it's simply more prevalent in BDSM relationships because of WIITWD.

Finding, or KEEPING a partner who is compatible with My lifestyle is difficult enough, even in vanilla relationships. Finding that "one" who fits all of those niches as well as a one who is a good match (notice I say 'good match' not perfect match!) with regard to BDSM interests is even more challenging. It takes time.

If a sub's innate desire to please Me every day is not an integral part of any relationship I'm engaged in, that relationship will ultimately be short lived.

TexasMaam

P.S. "W alterR ego" is a pretty kewl nic....

(in reply to WalterRego)

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RE: Letting a long time sub go - 10/25/2005 1:54:56 PM

wyngedbyste

Posts: 23
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

I voided my contract with my 24/7 slave of five years because we had both changed in that time. He found that he didn't find slavery rewarding any longer and I found that owning a slave wasn't fulfilling my needs. Life happens.

(in reply to WalterRego)

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RE: Letting a long time sub go - 10/25/2005 2:17:26 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I let Faith go after 18 months for two reasons:

First our relationship wasn't sexual. Very good service, very good SM but not being sexually involved played into the next reason...

His job was moved to another city.

I decided it wasn't fair to him to ask him to stay if I frankly was not sexually interested in him.

We remain good friends today.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to WalterRego)

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RE: Letting a long time sub go - 10/25/2005 3:26:50 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

I've read a couple of profiles here where women start by saying they have just let their sub go after a year, two years etc. (I haven't checked but probably this goes for male Doms too) I'm just beginning a relationship with a woman who let Her sub go after 18 months.

What sorts of things have led you want to let someone go after that long a period?

Interesting...it did not occur to me to discuss that in my profile. I let my last sub go, by mutual agreement. One of the things he requested was to be forced to engage in bi-sexual encounters for my amusement. I found it very amusing, sadly he found it became a need for him, to be with men, eventually to the exclusion of me. He is happier now, and I wish him well...but he was a delightful sub, and is sorely missed. We were together for two years.

~Cloudz

(in reply to WalterRego)

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