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RE: Collars - 5/30/2008 5:32:09 PM   
LadyPhoenixRisen


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/28/2008
Status: offline 		I used to, but my first one broke.  I don't really wear anything around my neck, I just can't stand it.  I am hoping to get something else to signify it, but the wedding band does it pretty well.

I want mine to wear his all of the time, but I will make sure it's something that he can wear for play, or to work.  I want him to always know he is mine, but I don't feel the need to advertise it to the world.  It's between him and I, that is what matters most.

_____________________________

Owner:angelpupPhoenix

Like the mighty phoenix,
Once again I rise from the flames set to destroy me & take flight.
I am Stronger; Glorious; Powerful; Victorious.

"Women are naturally dominant, just ask Adam why he ate the apple."

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Collars - 5/30/2008 6:13:46 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I wear a collar 24/7, since our collaring ceremony 2 years ago. It is a solid sterling silver choker style from kaotic creations, solid, with a few links next to the clasp. It is not removable by me - needs an allen wrench to come off.
I have been asked a few times what it means, to which i misdirect by saying its a necklace.
Since i am  not able to remove it, it reinforces my feeling of submission to my Sir. even when it isn't comfortable, i can't remove it (even if i wanted to), much like my submission - if the going gets hard, the submissive gets going, and going , and going ....  (hehe)
Most of the time i don't notice it any more - it is such a part of me.

When Sir and i got together, i desperately wanted his collar ( i was a tad insecure-  can you tell?) - i thought it would make him  more mine in a way. Now, i would be ok to remove it - i am so much more secure in our relationship. I wouldn't want to though.

(in reply to LadyPhoenixRisen)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Collars - 5/30/2008 7:10:42 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		I made my pets collar, iits chainmaille... (pics to come soon, promise) and I plan on giving it to her on the 5th, it is able to be removed, because there are times where wearing it could prove, dangerous... 

_____________________________

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The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

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(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Collars - 5/30/2008 7:12:10 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		 i weare 2 collars one formal and one vanilia. it is a symbol of my ownership to my M'Lady. due to my military service it has to conform to some guidelines. it means a great deal to me to have it around my neck. i do get comments on it and i love the expression on there face.

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Collars - 5/31/2008 11:21:34 AM   
tsclittlecupcake


Posts: 10
Joined: 5/30/2008
Status: offline 		Hi everyone...

A long time ago, he said he pledged to me in front of family and witnesses and God. That should be enough. It was for me, and I wore the ring he gave me with that pledge. It was very old fashioned. I said - Love - Honor - Obey - and he did not. (Go figure - lol)

Some time later, maybe 5 years after we joined and our children were moving past the stage of such dependence, we began going to munches occassionally and other events, and a part of me wondered self consciously (and in retrospect quite ridiculously) if I was somehow less of a submissive because most of them had very very evident collars and I didn't. I was pouty about it, which wasn't usually a wise way to approach things. I was told, "No, end of story." That generally means no around here. Even when I wish it didn't.

We continued to randomly attend events when we had childcare, and enjoyed a diverse group of people and educational activities. I still seemed to long inwardly for something I thought I didn't have. I had learned quite a long time before this though that no meant no and asking more than once was not a good thing. More time passed, and an anniversary of when he first met (and said he claimed me) came, and there on my pillow was a small, simple, white gold chain. I am allergic to other metals.

A lot of life has passed with changes both physically and emotionally. The need I had then to have some new symbol was heard, and met when it suited him. I still have both the chain and the ring. Neither fit me now. I treasure them in a hope chest. Both remind me of pledges made, and moments of really great importance. The chain to me didn't really ever mean he'd collared me. He'd made it clear that he considered his vow and ring the symbol of our union. When he got the chain, he did it to help me handle my own insecurities. It worked, and for that I am grateful. That's why it means so much.

I don't know if I rambled too much. The questions struck a chord close to home. It's odd now. I don't wear any symbol physically but I'm more his now then I have ever been. It changes daily. It grows exponentially.

cupcake

_____________________________

I'm a sweet little cupcake baked by the devil.

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Collars - 5/31/2008 11:29:09 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't wear a collar for anything but ocasional play time Or for amusement. To me I feel I do not need something pychical to wear to remember I am commited to him and love him Nor do I need to wear it to show others I belong to someone. Plus I just plain hate things on my neck, even t shirt collars, so any man who expected me to wear one, wouldn't be compatible with me. Way back when I first started talking to a dom who expected collars would be worn I bought myself a simple leather one so I could learn to stand it and nobody cared noticed it nor commented.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

I'm curious, indulge me...

Do you wear a collar? Is it a sign of ownership or does it signify something else. Is it something you wear every day, or is it an occasional adornment? Has anyone vanilla ever commented or questioned it? Is there anything you'd want us to know about it?




(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Collars - 5/31/2008 4:39:43 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		~ Fast Reply ~

Just a quickie question for anyone interested, and not aimed at anyone in particular.  I am curious, for those who say they don't need a collar to remind them they are owned, if you get married, would you not want a ring?

I see collars, rings, markings, whatever, as symbols and expressions of dynamics and not reminders, but I understand that others view them as reminders.  So I wonder what people think of wedding rings for marriages, too?

Sorry, Lily, if this seems like a hijack, but that comment comes up in pretty much every Collar thread, and the question just occurred to me so hey, why not ask? 

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Collars - 5/31/2008 5:17:32 PM   
MastersBitch96


Posts: 73
Joined: 5/15/2008
From: Endicott, NY
Status: offline 		Well, I have been through a number of collars, due to them wearing out or causing allergy problems for me (I'm allergic to almost all metals).  However, regardless of how 'collary' any of my collars have looked (and a couple had big ass padlocks and O rings), I have worn them every day, every moment since being collared.  Have people asked about certain collars?  Yes, and I am required by my Master to tell the truth.. that I am a collared consensual slave.  At this time and for the past two years, I have had a very delicate braided 18 carat gold collar that just looks like a choker.  The clasp was purposely broken by my Master so that it does not come off (unless I chose to break it off-- I'd rather die).  Additionally, it has a heart shaped 14 carat pendant which says Beloved Slave on one side and Toilet Slut on the other...both are written in Slovak (my Master's ethnicity), so as to make it not quite as obvious.  Do I care what people think/have thought of any of my collars or explanation?  Not a god damn bit.-- Bitch PS Also, I have a large tattoo with a bullwhip and my Master's name on it, on my mid calf.  Ditto on the questions asked.

< Message edited by MastersBitch96 -- 5/31/2008 5:19:52 PM >

_____________________________

"I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it; so the little got more and more"

"Your only validation is in living your own life; vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time."

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Collars - 6/1/2008 8:21:32 PM   
dekasparadise


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline 		I have 2 collars - well, one ceremonial, scene-collar, that is leather and has a ring and looks much like you would expect a collar to look.  He made it for me Himself, and I wear it when we are playing or when we are out at scene events. 

For normal, everyday wear, I have a necklace with three charms - they say "Passion" "Focus" and "Discipline."  I take it off only to shower.  As soon as I get out of the shower, I put it back on.  No one has ever commented on it, except one person.  And that is a funny story.  The first time I ever wore it, my mom noticed it.  She picked it up from my neck, read the words, and said "I LOVE that.  Words to live by."  Now, everytime I see her, she smiles when she sees it.  Of course, she has no idea what it signifies. 

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Collars - 6/1/2008 8:32:22 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		*Fast Reply*

At one point, with an ex, I wore a black leather collar with the word "slave" embossed into it. Because the letters were the same color as the leather, it was relatively hard to read it. I was never questioned about it actually. At this point, I have not been collared by Valyraen but I do have an engagement ring that I wear every day. To us, it means much the same thing.

When I have a collar from it, it will be worn every day, most days or on special occasions depending on what we feel is right.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Collars - 6/1/2008 8:37:03 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I see collars, rings, markings, whatever, as symbols and expressions of dynamics and not reminders, but I understand that others view them as reminders.  So I wonder what people think of wedding rings for marriages, too?


Since I belong to a few "anti-bride" groups, some people also see wedding rings as simply reminders of marriage and not worth spending the money on them - or not worth spending near as much as most. We briefly considered simply transfering the 25 dollar rings we currently wear on our right hands to our left. They know they are married and trust their partner not need a gold band to remind them to honor their vows, why not put the money into something else?

It's my opinion that collars, wedding rings, engagement rings, etc are simply symbols. It's a matter of what symbol speaks to you personally. YMMV.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Collars - 6/1/2008 8:46:34 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's my opinion that collars, wedding rings, engagement rings, etc are simply symbols. It's a matter of what symbol speaks to you personally. YMMV.


Hi Aquatic,

That's generally my take on it, too.  They are symbols to me, not reminders.  So when I see collars referred to as "reminders" I wondered what people thought of husbands and wives wearing rings.  Thanks for answering!

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Collars - 6/1/2008 8:54:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I can't count the number of subs who get spankings as "reminders" of their place.  There's some key element going on that requires an external imposition to make it real to them.  I find the need or desire for it tends to lessen as the actual foundation becomes more secure.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Collars - 6/1/2008 10:23:27 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's my opinion that collars, wedding rings, engagement rings, etc are simply symbols. It's a matter of what symbol speaks to you personally. YMMV.


Hi Aquatic,

That's generally my take on it, too.  They are symbols to me, not reminders.  So when I see collars referred to as "reminders" I wondered what people thought of husbands and wives wearing rings.  Thanks for answering!


No problem! I'm slowly becoming a bank of wedding-related information and trivia. 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 4:25:31 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Sorry, Lily, if this seems like a hijack, but that comment comes up in pretty much every Collar thread, and the question just occurred to me so hey, why not ask?


Not hijacked so no apology necessary - excellent questions all!

PL


_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 4:34:29 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Hi Aquatic,

That's generally my take on it, too. They are symbols to me, not reminders. So when I see collars referred to as "reminders" I wondered what people thought of husbands and wives wearing rings. Thanks for answering!


Symbols or reminders - ok, let's play with semantics ~grin~

I would love to say that every second of my day is completely devoted to him, and my thoughts are of nothing but. Such as it were in the land of fantasy....

My job can, at times, be high powered and high stress. I work with a group of people who bring a 'rich and eclecctic dynamic' to the table. In other words, there are days when I want to choke the shit out of one or more of them.

I 'fiddle' with my collar a lot, between my fingers. Having it there reminds me that it would be behavior unbecoming his girl to let my emotions run and tell a colleague what I thought or to simply go fuck themselves.

Sometimes, it's all that's between me and the unemployment line ~grin~ So, I'm comfortable being labled as someone who 'needs to be reminded' as if in some way I am lesser than those who view it as a symbol, who look down their noses as poor girls like me who don't really get it and have this unnecessary need and attachment.

PL ;)


_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 6:46:41 AM   
MastersBitch96


Posts: 73
Joined: 5/15/2008
From: Endicott, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

I 'fiddle' with my collar a lot, between my fingers. Having it there reminds me that it would be behavior unbecoming his girl to let my emotions run and tell a colleague what I thought or to simply go fuck themselves.



I found this funny, because (though my situation is certainly not the same as yours)... I too fiddle with my collar and think "What would my Master want me to do?"  The answer is unvariably- tell them to go fuck themselves... and that's for a minor offense! LOL.  Rip them a new asshole, is generally what my Master would want! LOL... just had to say that.-- Bitch

_____________________________

"I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it; so the little got more and more"

"Your only validation is in living your own life; vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time."

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 9:33:29 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
I 'fiddle' with my collar a lot, between my fingers. Having it there reminds me that it would be behavior unbecoming his girl to let my emotions run and tell a colleague what I thought or to simply go fuck themselves.


I fiddle with mine, too, all the time.  The first year I wore it, it was indeed a reminder of who I am, and of my place.  I needed reminders, because his expectations were so high it was easier for me sometimes to revert back to my undisciplined ways and former behaviors.  Now I fiddle with it because it just gives me a sense of security - it makes me feel peaceful to think of him, and to think of my place in his life.

I loved the honesty laid out in your last post - kudos to you!

And thanks for not considering my question to be a hijack. :) 

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 9:53:17 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		i have different collars . the leather with the ring . public collars made of silver. they signify i am His . but i am collared whether i wear a collar or not. i love the feel of closeness around my neck. the collar is a physical symbol of our commitment to each other.

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 11:01:18 AM   
SirsPetAdrina


Posts: 1731
Joined: 3/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I wear my Owner's Collar.  It's a symbol of her ownership and of my status as property.  I wear it everyday, and at this point the only way to take it off would be for me to cut it off.  It's simple enough to be worn discreetly and without people even knowing that it's a collar.  At this point it's a tight fitting hemp necklace with my engagement ring around it.

DV's Fox


mine is the same as fox's. mine is a sign of ownership by Sir Tom and its an everyday thing unless Sir says that i can take it off. it is a hand made choker so it doesnt look like a collar and i can wear it even employed if the job allows for jewelry. it looks gothic and if you want to see it there are pics of it on my profile. i will also be wearing a house collar soon representing Master Joeseph and his training that he is doing to make me a better sub.

_____________________________

Under Careful Consideration of Asherdelampyr
http://www.myspace.com/sirsvampirekitten

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 40
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