RE: Collars

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Collars

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Collars

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 12:52:56 PM

kalea

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/31/2007
Status: offline

i have 3 collars that signify His ownership of me....one is an everyday necklace with the BDSM insignia in the front, one is my nighttime and club leather serpentine collar which He made, and i have a silver one for extra dressy occasions. Being in a small town where He has a position in the community necessitates this discreteness. (not really a word, but it fits) i proudly wear these collars as any wife would wear her wedding ring.

(in reply to metalmiss)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 12:57:06 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

gets a little gooey and purry ...

collars are for me ... a symbol of possession, a mark of Ownership, they mean you belong to Someone, are valued by Someone, protected by Someone

now whether the collar is one for the house, or one for play, or something actually fairly vanilla in style but which has special meaning for you ... or if it is something sealed, permenant and declaration of committment ... thats rather up tot he people involved and the dynamic they create

can't wait to have been a good enough girl for a trip to the engravers

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to metalmiss)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 1:56:59 PM

born2ride

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

My first Master collared me as his slave, many, many years ago. I have not be the collared slave of a Master since him, although I have has some M/s relationships since then, but never full time, for the men, it was always a 'game' something they would indulge me in once a month or so...for me it was so much more. I am currently under consideration by a wonderful Master, and hope to becom his collared property soon. At this time, I wear a beautiful Hematite choker that fits perfectly at the base of my throat...it is Master's way of showing that I am under consideration by Him. When the time is right, we will be living together and living the life 24/7. As I am in the corporate world, running a million dollar a year business, I will ask Master for permission to wear something like my Hematite choker while at work/corporate events etc...saving the leather one he plans to make me for once I enter our home.

(in reply to metalmiss)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 1:57:37 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

~ Fast Reply ~

Just a quickie question for anyone interested, and not aimed at anyone in particular. I am curious, for those who say they don't need a collar to remind them they are owned, if you get married, would you not want a ring?

I see collars, rings, markings, whatever, as symbols and expressions of dynamics and not reminders, but I understand that others view them as reminders. So I wonder what people think of wedding rings for marriages, too?

Sorry, Lily, if this seems like a hijack, but that comment comes up in pretty much every Collar thread, and the question just occurred to me so hey, why not ask?

I think the thing is that people tend to equate collars with ownership, but the way I see them actually used is that they seem to be indicators of going steady (and rarely of owning someone else). I've seen so many couples get collared and then get uncollared (probably with a higher frequency than I've seen divorces). And so the going steady lack of stability I see with collars means that its just not something that resonates for me, and so I don't need a collar to remind me that I'm owned. I have a drawer full of collars that he's bought over the years, just like he's gotten me socks that sit in a drawer.

What I do have as markers of ownership are the labia rings and brand - and I know in the future there will probably be some additional body modifications as a physical representation of his ownership. To me those are incredibly meaningful and much more representative of our dynamic than a collar would ever be.

Hope that helps answer your question,
C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 2:33:38 PM

michelleryder

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

Mines an eternity collar I wear 24/7 and it gets ever so hot in summer. The only other collar I ever wear is my puppy collar but that goes on alongside the eternity collar and it's obviously just for puppy play.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Collars - 6/2/2008 3:13:18 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
I think the thing is that people tend to equate collars with ownership, but the way I see them actually used is that they seem to be indicators of going steady (and rarely of owning someone else). I've seen so many couples get collared and then get uncollared (probably with a higher frequency than I've seen divorces). And so the going steady lack of stability I see with collars means that its just not something that resonates for me, and so I don't need a collar to remind me that I'm owned. I have a drawer full of collars that he's bought over the years, just like he's gotten me socks that sit in a drawer.

This is a good point, Wildfleurs, of the differences with which people see collars and how they view "being collared."

quote:

What I do have as markers of ownership are the labia rings and brand - and I know in the future there will probably be some additional body modifications as a physical representation of his ownership. To me those are incredibly meaningful and much more representative of our dynamic than a collar would ever be.

Hope that helps answer your question,
C~

It answers in that I was hoping for other points of view and you have provided yours - one I always appreciate, actually. If I can take this a step further here, you see these body mods as more meaningful than a collar, and I can understand why. But whether it's a collar, a marking, a modification, people do have meaningful symbols they attribute to their M/s or D/s relationship. So to those who say, "I don't need such reminders..." I just wonder if they would feel that way about a marriage, too, and the rings that tend to go with it. Do you see what I'm getting at with that?

"I don't need a _____ to remind me I'm owned." And so I ask those who feel that way - if you get married, will you not want a wedding ring? Why or why not?

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Collars - 6/3/2008 1:45:39 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

girlie, i had to think about this for a bit..

"I don't need a _____ to remind me I'm owned." And so I ask those who feel that way - if you get married, will you not want a wedding ring? Why or why not?

well, especially now that i'm in the process of divorcing wolf and going on to TheEngineer, yes, the symbol means a lot to me.

Daddy has given me three symbols of his ownership...a collar necklace, a silver bracelet, a silver ring that looks like a buckled leather belt. i have at least one of those on at all times. wolf had given me several different rings to symbolize our marriage over the past 16 years, and i had always worn one of those, too.

yes, the object means something to me. its something tangible to hold on to when the night is long and dark and i feel alone. its something to look at and remind myself that yes, i am loved and wanted and cherished, even when i feel like warmed over day old poopie. i'm well aware that i am insecure. having an object to hold on to (like the vampire bat stuffie Daddy gave me) helps.

kitten

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Collars - 6/3/2008 10:30:43 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

It answers in that I was hoping for other points of view and you have provided yours - one I always appreciate, actually. If I can take this a step further here, you see these body mods as more meaningful than a collar, and I can understand why. But whether it's a collar, a marking, a modification, people do have meaningful symbols they attribute to their M/s or D/s relationship. So to those who say, "I don't need such reminders..." I just wonder if they would feel that way about a marriage, too, and the rings that tend to go with it. Do you see what I'm getting at with that?

"I don't need a _____ to remind me I'm owned." And so I ask those who feel that way - if you get married, will you not want a wedding ring? Why or why not?

I do see what you are getting at, ownedgirlie. I think I don't need those reminders, but I deeply treasure them and I would be upset if I had to say, take out the piercing. When I think about the things that are core to ownership and the core things that really feed the ownership, I'm not sure I'd say either of the body mod's necessarily feed the ownership. On the otherhand, the experience of the branding itself changed things (in a good way) for both my owner ... so I guess I'm not sure which side I end up falling on.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Collars - 6/3/2008 11:47:50 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, adoracat and Wildfleurs, for indulging me, and for such honest posts. I enjoyed reading your perspectives.

One of the things I take away from this is that often times symbols are really one of many ways of bonding between owner and submissive. The symbol represents that bonding, which leaves us with warm fuzzy feelings. :)

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Collars - 6/5/2008 12:04:57 PM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

I have a collar which I wear as a symbol of the relationship my Master and I have, although since we live in a small town and we both have "responsible" jobs I don't always wear it in public (as it is a deep, black leather collar and when formally dressed is out of place).

We are currently on the look out for another object (probably a necklace) that I can wear 24/7/365 as a collar and will only be meaningful to us, as yet we haven't found anything that quite fits us, but we are leaving the timetable on finding it open so as to choose the right object - we both feel we will just 'know' when we see the right thing.

Symbology is important to me, I wore a wedding ring whilst married (now divorced) and I wear my grandmother's ring every day (we lost her last March) in memory of her.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Collars - 6/6/2008 5:55:37 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Personally I'd be ok with out one because I don't like jewelery very much, and if he insisted on buying me one, I'd want it to be very inexpensive, no more than 300 dollars, cause I don't believe in spending tons of money on jewlery, that could of been spent on a house downpayment, or a night out on the town or towards a honeymoon.
The one exception I guess you could call it is I do wear a ring I picked out and he approved of that is a love knot, with faith on the left inside, love on the knot itself, and purity, on the right side. And I'm not really sure why I picked it out, just that I was working with kids at the time and I wanted something I could wear in ANY situation at any time that we both liked. well that and I couldn't go around in neopream handcuffs 24/7. That and to me, those three statements are importaint. I guess that's kind of like a collar in someways. a statement that means something to both of us.

Other than my one ring, he knows I don't care for jewlery, so he never buys me any.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

~ Fast Reply ~

Just a quickie question for anyone interested, and not aimed at anyone in particular. I am curious, for those who say they don't need a collar to remind them they are owned, if you get married, would you not want a ring?

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 6/6/2008 6:08:42 PM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 51