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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/26/2005 6:20:26 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

what's the best way to suppress feelings of jealousy?

this slave used to have a BIG problem with jealousy... in junior high school. By the time high school rolled around, this slave was sick of the way the jealousy made her feel. this slave was not jealous of other's belongings or their looks, but the "relationships" they had, the friendships...the steady boyfriends, all boiled down to this slave wished she had what they had, so much it made her frustrated and angry and eventually she would cry over it and ruin her make-up(hey, it was the eighties AND high school). THAT got really, really tiresome. At age 14 it was high time to do something about it. envy and jealousy are not "qualities" or "emotions" that this slave wants to spend any time with.

this slave was always proud of herself for being smart, so this slave decided to combat the jealous thoughts and feelings with logic and reason each and every time. every time she would feel that pang of jealousy she would immediately begin the reasoning process building up her own self-image in the process---it took practice, years of practice, at the same time this slave worked on her own self-esteem and also on being patient--that too, took lots of practice. it wasn't easy, but something this slave really wanted to get rid of, as she sees jealousy as ugly and repulsive.

14 years later, this slave isn't jealous of anyone, (even that hot girl Master scened with at the party the other night~this slave hoped they both had a fantastic time!!!!) this slave turned jealousy over other's relationships into a "positive affirmation of self" exercise and eventually this slave replaced jealousy and envy with love and joy that those folks have something wonderful----it is, indeed, possible to be happy for others, especially someone you love dearly, without feeling jealousy, even if that's how you "used to" feel.

(in reply to ownedjulia)

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/26/2005 6:33:59 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

I once became very upset over a bottle of champagne. I was okay with his romantic weekend with her and looking forward to the tales of passionate sex he would share when he returned. Then I found a receipt for champage and became indignant and enraged that he bought the SAME kind of champagne that we typically shared. It was not about brand of champagne of course, it was about the feeling of not being unique or "special."

Speaking from the point of a female that being *special* is a HUGE
part of why I turn Green. Guy's just dont get it, ok maybe I'm generalizing, but so be it. Personally after such a thing that I felt was mine is used borrowed or shared with another cheapens the item.
Silly, yea....... but it will no longer be special to me if it was something *we* shared, it wont create
the desired effect EVER again. Sharing the human is a totally different experiance all together that I can get into, but leave me MY shit!

Q

< Message edited by Quivver -- 10/26/2005 6:35:41 AM >

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/26/2005 6:36:33 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

he bought the SAME kind of champagne that we typically shared. It was not about brand of champagne of course, it was about the feeling of not being unique or "special."

Ah, that is the sort of thing that would bother me too. I think many men would think "hey, it's just a bottle of champagne." But some women (includes me) attach meanings to things, making them special.

(in reply to Quivver)

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/26/2005 7:10:02 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I have to ask did you discuess with him about playing with others before you were collared? If you did and you were really not ok with it you should have said something then. I understand how you feel though. I did not like my late Master to be with any other subs and i was lucky he respected my feelings on the matter so he did not play with others. He also did not like to share. So the only advice i can give you is talk, talk talk. Good luck.

littleone

(in reply to ownedjulia)

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/26/2005 4:19:52 PM

ownedjulia

Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I have to ask did you discuess with him about playing with others before you were collared? If you did and you were really not ok with it you should have said something then. I understand how you feel though. I did not like my late Master to be with any other subs and i was lucky he respected my feelings on the matter so he did not play with others. He also did not like to share. So the only advice i can give you is talk, talk talk. Good luck.

littleone

Yes. This was something we did discuss in some depth.

I have to stand up for Master here - At no point has he hidden anything or been less than honest with me and this is actually making it harder for me.

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~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/26/2005 8:03:28 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
I have to ask did you discuess with him about playing with others before you were collared? If you did and you were really not ok with it you should have said something then. I understand how you feel though. I did not like my late Master to be with any other subs and i was lucky he respected my feelings on the matter so he did not play with others. He also did not like to share. So the only advice i can give you is talk, talk talk. Good luck.
littleone

if there is discussion to not share, then honour says that sharing will not occur. if we've no honour, what have we? but then again, i'm irish, so what do we know?

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/27/2005 9:13:50 AM

Sartoris32801

Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i'm irish, so what do we know?

Bushmills. Guinness, sense of humor, laughter, ..how to say Fuck off" without offending the fuckeee, passion, ALL the words to "Danny Boy"...................

Sartoris

_____________________________

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/27/2005 2:27:49 PM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
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Are you secure with this man? Any dounts? Concerns? Any reason not to trust him? If the answer to these questions is, no, perhaps jealous is just part of your emotional make up. May not be anything you can do to overcome it.

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RE: Breaking Jealousy - 10/28/2005 10:04:42 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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you know i see all kinds of points of view its like we want to test what is natural and change it for our own benifits. the feeling of jealousy is tell you there is something not right to what is normal. its like takeing a care that works and cutting it up to put it the way you want it sometimes it works sometimes it does not these things were put in place
to help maintain balance in our mental health. i found this i want share it cause i though it was interesting. i hope it gives you some insite as to why

The Rules To Love: Preventing Affairs

Wondering what that could be? It seems that over two-thirds of the lovesick and forlorn have problems staying faithful to their partner. I don’t mean actual intercourse affairs, but rather what I’d like to refer to as the silent killer, affairs of the heart.
Discovering this fact is not what is most disconcerting to me. The real problem I have is that it is a very rare encounter when someone will actually give this extra-relationship interest the proper weight it deserves. No one seems to ever connect their relationship problems with the fact they have begun an outside interest. It seems impossible to me to be able to ignore the fact that if you are having problems AND you feel you are, or may be, interested in someone else that there is some type of correlation. Usually, you’ll find the reason for the problems in the current relationship are BECAUSE of the extra-interest. Not the other way around as so many would like to convince themselves is true.

So, I propose a solution for tender hearts everywhere, the “Rules of Love for Preventing Affairs.” It incorporates all of the advice I have been giving for the last six years on this site regarding affairs. I believe one of the best ways to be happy is to know you’ve taken preventative measures against unhappiness. Knowing how you or your partner will behave in a certain situation gives you a certain sense of confidence and freedom in your relationship that many don’t experience.

Finish this sentence as applies to your relationship:

Being involved with someone else means:
a) you are engaging in a physical intimate relationship with someone outside of your current one and/or
b) you are engaging in a mental intimate relationship with someone outside of your current one and/or
c) you have an emotional interest (from the past or present) towards someone outside of your current relationship.

Do NOT become involved with another person if you are currently committed to someone else. Don’t bend the situation to justify your actions. If the person you are with expects you to be with only them, then do that.

i think this is where most people make the mistake

If you become interested in someone else:

Cease all contact with them until you have resolved the problems with your current relationship.

Find out why your interest towards your current partner has waned.
a. Are you spending enough time with each other?
b. Are you looking for an escape or a start over type relationship because of too much bad history?
c. Has an outside interest allowed you to think less of your partner?

Decide whether this is repairable.
a. Have you talked about your problems?
b. Can you find a solution through an outside source?

If repairable, do what is necessary to properly fix your current problems and take measures to avoid them from happening again.

If not, repairable, leave your current relationship.
a. Do not see the person you were interested in for at least 30 days after you are on your own again.
b. If you still feel you may be truly interested in starting a relationship with this person make sure you take things slowly and that you have truly discovered what factors contributed to the demise of your previous relationships. You don’t need to keep making the same mistakes repetitively.

i hope this gives you more insite as to why jealousy happens how you can avoid those things. its to protect you and your mental health.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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