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pixelslave -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (6/2/2008 7:49:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DominantJenny
For years, I practiced orgasm delay/denial with my slave. Then one day I had a small epiphany...I find that, for myself, when I masturbate more often, I am generally more aroused. So I've turned my rules on their head a bit, and started requiring masturbation instead! It's a bit tricky for us to maintain any rituals these days (with a nearly 3 year old and another on the way), but I did have this idea for one where each night would feature a spanking (or equivalent) (to whatever degree I felt like, short and sweet or long and not-so-sweet, etc), and every morning (if he did not orgasm that night), he was to masturbate in the shower. As I said, rituals are a challenge around here, but for the couple of weeks we kept it up, it seemed to be having a noticable effect.
(Note: My guy has a somewhat lower libido than I do, generally. If he had a higher one, I'd probably find orgasm delay a lot more successful. :P)
So, what are your experiences, opinions? Guys, what do you find keeps you in a more highly aroused/ready state? Women, have any of you ever tried this and how did it go for you? Is it just us? :P
First, I'll say that I very strongly believe that the brain is the largest sex organ in the body. My brain needs to be stimulated on a regular basis in order to be aroused. With previous Mistresses, one of the things that worked for us to help that, which we found to be very mutual, was to exchange text messages throughout the day which pushed both of our buttons. I enjoy being teased and the build up is a good thing. Being denied afterward isn't when it comes to me.
Chastity and denial is something that has been detrimental for me in the past with other Mistresses. My most recent Mistress encouraged me to masturbate when we weren't together and that helped a great deal in overcoming some of the previous conditioning. I wouldn't consider entering into a relationship with a woman where chastity was going to be a part of it. I very much enjoy a Mistress being part of or sharing my orgasms as I feel they're hers every bit as much as mine. I'm also the type that generally only has fantasies about the woman I'm involved with. Unfortunately, this also makes it difficult to get especially aroused when I'm not seeing someone in particular.
In direct answer to your question, I think you're on the right track with getting him aroused through evening spankings or other intimacy and then if he doesn't ejaculate afterward, having him give himself a release the following morning. I think that's healthy for him both physically and emotionally.
- pixel
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