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Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 12:50:22 PM

ShadesofTaboo

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I'm curious if what happened to me is something others might have experienced.

Not so long ago, I participated in a public scene at a Play Party. I knew the person I scened with, very well. As far as I know it wasn't anything I hadn't experienced before - but then again, I've no idea what actually took place. I do know that no one freaked out at the party and no one implied anything extreme had taken place. Considering how tame the group was, I'm pretty sure they would have been appalled if it had because what they considered extreme, I would generally consider tame .

What makes this situation strange, is that I have absolutely no recollection of it. I recall preparing for it, I recall lying down on the table. I recall coming to awareness later, with the scene finished. I didn't remember the scene starting, I didn't remember anything that took place during. Aside from that lapse in memory, the event was fun and I recall having had a very pleasant time.

Now, I know of subspace, but I have never experienced a situaton where my mind completely blocked the events of an entire BDSM scene.

I have experienced repressed memories before, such as in the instance when I was hit head on by a drunk driver, and suffered a severe head injury that resulted in Antegrade (sp?) and Retrograde (sp?) Amnesia and while I was awake and responsive during my treatment in the ER, I have no recollection of it. I was told that it is a common occurence for your brain to shut down and block out traumatic experiences, to protect the mind from them. I have just never thought of a play party scene as "a traumatic experience" that would warrant the brain repressing memories as they did in my instance. Is it possible that my brain's defense mechanism is so hyper-sensitive that sceneing could be interpreted in the way it was? Having survived an extremely abusive relationship - I wondered if my mind might have associated the scene with my past abuse? I don't know. It was just very strange.

Has anyone else had similar experiences, or would anyone have any insight into this?

Post #: 1

RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 12:54:53 PM

mistoferin

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I lose parts of scenes all the time. Can't say that I've ever lost the whole thing, especially the beginning....but I have had times when I have played for hours...and only remembered minutes. I don't think it has anything to do with my mind "blocking" a traumatic experience. I think that things just get warped during play. Especially when you are with someone you know and trust well....kind of allows you to just really let go and ....go.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 1:43:26 PM

HalloweenWhite

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I think what you're describing is called "suspace" where you get totally caught up in the scene.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 1:44:59 PM

xxblushesxx

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*subspace*

do a search, you'll find lots of info.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 1:51:14 PM

BoiJen

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I had this occur once...I had fallen off a bull at a rodeo. I was overly dehydrated and when my body finally had the fluids it needed and the time to recover from the sudden rush of endorphines I was fine.

Many parachuters experience something similiar, where afterwards it may take weeks or months but they start to remember..it's caused by the body's reaction to the "trauma"...or the really really intense adrinaline rush. It's higher than normal then.

If you're seriously worried about it go see a neurologist. Get a check up. Just tell them you had a sudden memory loss around the time of some pretty heavy duty fun. If you're not too worried just make sure to have plenty of fluids and food upto an hr prior to the scene and have fun.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 1:58:20 PM

SteelofUtah

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I would not call this sub space.

However I do not have all the Psycological Facts at my disposal it is has a name I just don't know what it is. I am looking into it as someone I spoke to recently had the same thing happen and the reason it was so hard for them is apparently what happened to them is a HARD LIMIT and they did it without question or hesitation and at least they were aware enough to move themselves around but in the end there was no recolection of it ever happeneing which scared them.

I have been researching it ever since.

It is a form of Tempral Conditioning in which your Brain Blcoks out Trauma but it usually coincides with VERY tramatic events as a child or with a Rape they are most commonly discovered in the Sexual Arena as most cases that get documented are by rape victims who literally don't remember thier own rape and later on in life during what is supposed to be an Intament moment with thier partner they re live the event and lash out on thier partner who usually has no idea what just happened.

Like I said I don't have my research at work with me but I will post more on this as soon as I can get back to this PC to submit it all.

It isn't a BDSM thing perse but it can be very comon in S&M as When the brain runs out of Dopamine it often strats to shut down temporal function and all things that occur after Temporal shut down are processed in a different part of the brain which is not normally used to store and process situations so it isn't something that can be brought to the Memory because that is not where that information was processed and stored.

Hopefully some of that makes sense to anyone.

Steel

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 2:06:26 PM

CalifChick

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Try googling "dissociative amnesia" or just "dissociation".

Cali

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 2:20:26 PM

chamberqueen

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I lost track of time once that was non-injury related. I saw a mother who had a habit of abusing her children. Apparently I picked her up and slammed her against some cupboards, telling her that if I ever saw her hurt her children again that she would get it back five times as badly from me. The next thing I knew I was playing cards again and laughing with her.

The scene may have simply been very intense for you; not necessarily unpleasant. If you are concerned about something like this happening again you may want to set up a camera so that you can watch later if you lose the time again. That way there will be no doubt in your mind about what went on.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 3:15:44 PM

spanklette

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I had this happen to me once...it was the same exact feeling I had upon waking up in the hospital after a car accident. I never regained either of the memories and it's never happened again. I wasn't all that concerned about it...and it hasn't caused any issues.

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Post #: 9

RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 3:43:27 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Scene headspace is not rational. Not having coherent or clear memories of a scene, or not even hardly remembering anything at all is fairly common.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 6:56:25 PM

xxblushesxx

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Have you been taking Levitra?

http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/news/20080530/amnesia-added-to-levitra-label?src=rss_cbsnews

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 7:06:13 PM

derfrewop

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What about the most common explanation: you responded to commands while in a hypnotic state. Probably your partner saying something like

"Just focus on the sensations, nothing else matters, ignore anything anybody else does, relax and enjoy the feelings. "

It does not require any sort of elaborate ritual to hypnotize anybody most people do it themselves all of the time. But if you take an intelligent person, talk to them in a strong calm quiet voice and then have them follow orders, relax and focus on internal sensations, well most experts would call that hypnotized.

My guess is something like this happened to you. It does not mean your partner knowingly hypnotized you. The words above are pretty much standard for the situation. But hypnotized, you followed orders too well: focused only on the sensations so nothing else happened at all. Since nothing except sensations happened, time and events did not happen for you. You might not even recall the sensations since you would be using a time reference to remember something that is not hooked into time sense.

You can go with all kinds of worrisome odd diseases, traumas and drugs as a theory but really, any of the amnesiac diseases either psychiatric or physical are very very rare as in millions to one. You have trusted word that nothing particularly traumatic happened. There is no conceivable reason for your partner to slip you an amnesia drug (date rape) since you were already going to let him scene with you publicly. Ordinary hypnotic phenomena fits the facts much better.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 7:46:46 PM

Skully7000

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while the other responses are all plausabile.....I'm going to have to second the Hypnosis idea... only since the last thing you remember is laying on the table getting ready for the scene to start...

having a quite active childhood I do remember my concussions quite well and I remember what caused them quite well it was the time afterwards taht gets fuzzy (like in FightClub after the car accident when scenes just fade in and out with a gap of time missing inbetween)

as for Trauma: again I think you would have a bit more memory of the scene starting before you started to trail off... but i admit this is one I don't have experience with...and seems less likely considering your friends didn't point out that it was an intense scene...

Hypnosis just fits all the facts you gave the best.

Cheers
Skully

(in reply to derfrewop)

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 8:08:46 PM

LPslittleclip

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Ive had that happen to me. during the time i couldn't remember i was floating and feeling separate from my body. i was told its called deep space. in medical terms i would call it a deep level of meditation/or a out of body experience. i have been told it has happened to others as well. i think its due to a massive level of seritonin release in the brain(not a expert) i would love to do it again!

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Post #: 14

RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 8:20:01 PM

Bound2One

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Scene headspace is not rational. Not having coherent or clear memories of a scene, or not even hardly remembering anything at all is fairly common.

I'm glad to read this thread. I've experienced moments which feel like complete blanks after having been with Master, and it's concerned me. My memory is shit most of the time in general, but to blank out on some of the things we've shared is odd to me because we're really not edgy players at all - I'm not in intense pain or in fear or anything - things which might indicate to me it would be normal to block something out. My mind, however, travels to interesting places while we're scening and I'm stretched in ways I haven't experienced before. Your words above, LA, make sense to me. I'm still fairly new and understanding the different headspaces I can go to while with him. To hear that this is normal is comforting somehow.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 8:56:57 PM

Prismfire

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Deep hypnosis would cause exacly that in some people and it can actually happen in seconds without the subject even really realizing it. If you had a deep level of trust for your scene partner I would third the hypnosis call. You can do a search on hypnotic amnesia if you like but sub space and the hypnotic state differ only in th at the one is endorphine induced and the other is induced through a change of focus.

(in reply to ShadesofTaboo)

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 8:59:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Actually there are many forms of subspace and people can get there through many methods- endorphins are only one possible cause amongst many.

Hypnosis can of course be one cause of scene amnesia, but it would be wrong IMO to suggest it is the only brain state at work.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 9:10:28 PM

Prismfire

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never implied that it was the only way to get there or that it was the only brain state at work.

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/30/2008 9:22:58 PM

ShadesofTaboo

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I wanted to thank everyone who posted and offered their thoughts and insight. I will definitely research the different things mentioned. Not because I'm at all concerned, but because they are all very interesting topics.

Hypnosis never once occurred to me! Certainly an intriguing hypothesis.

As for Levitra. No, I've never taken it. I'll have to go to the link you provided and find out what it is.

Thanks again, everyone. It is certainly refreshing to know that the situation is not all that rare or odd and others have experienced similar situations.

(in reply to Prismfire)

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RE: Scene Amnesia? - 5/31/2008 7:39:59 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadesofTaboo

I have just never thought of a play party scene as "a traumatic experience" that would warrant the brain repressing memories as they did in my instance. Is it possible that my brain's defense mechanism is so hyper-sensitive that sceneing could be interpreted in the way it was? Having survived an extremely abusive relationship - I wondered if my mind might have associated the scene with my past abuse? I don't know. It was just very strange.

Has anyone else had similar experiences, or would anyone have any insight into this?

Key words.... "I have just never thought of a play party scene as "a traumatic experience". That statement alone tells me that it is highly unlikely that the experience was traumatic. In fact, it seems by the way you described the situation leading up to the scene, it was far from a trumatic experience. Therefore, going down this road would be rather silly. The thing with traumatic experiences, in most cases, the person feels they have had a traumatic experience, but just can't remember much of anything about it.

So.. if it's not a traumatic experience what was it?

A simple answer is subspace. But It depends what you consider subspace. For me, it is an intoxication of sorts but is caused by the natural chemicals of the brain. Now these chemicals will start affecting the body by alot of different methods. The most common one is by the physical acts that are often associated with SM. However, a person with the power of thought alone can and does release chemicals into their body. Your mental mindset could of been at such a state that it gave the chemcials in you body an head start. Hence, why you were out of it so quickly into the scene. When I allow it, Alandra can become very open to this affect as she lets her mind just drift in preparation to the play.

Now, one of the affects of intoxications for some is memory loss. How many times have you heard of people become intoxicated due to alcohol and can't remember what occurred. Sometimes it is years afterwards, I recall one of the first times I was Alandra (before we were an item) that I end up completely drunk. Alandra lost a pack of cigerettes that night... it was years later that I recalled that I tossed them moments after she gave them to me and turned her back to me. I didn't remember doing it. I woke up years later in the middle of night laughing, because it came to me what had occurred. and I recieve from Alandra at that moment was... "I knew it" (I hate smoking)

As, I said, subspace to me is just an intoxication of the natural body chemicals. In the BDSM world they are commonly enduced by the physical activities we do.... but one's own mental state can and does get you there as well or at least part of the way.

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