hizgeorgiapeach
Posts: 1672
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: cutekansasswitch
He is rude sometimes, but he's not an asshole. In fact, he's far from it. Ways he's shown he cares include wanting to introduce me to his friends and go places with me (he would never consider keeping me a secret from anyone), taking me out to dinner, lots of physical affection, and telling me he loves me to name a few. He's experienced when it comes to d/s play, but very inexperienced in relationships. It's ok that he's dry and matter of fact. He just needs to learn that in a relationship, he needs to think before he speaks. I'm hoping he learns from this experience so we can have a successful relationship. I'd like to thank everyone for their advice. It's good to know I didn't overreact.
I've been reading this thread debating on whether to bite my tongue or throw in my $.25 worth. This post decided me. You likely aren't going to enjoy reading what I have to say - in fact, it may well piss you off (along with a whole slew of others) but I'm not going to bother sugar coating things to spare someone's sensabilities. All opinions expressed herein are strictly my own - take 'em or leave 'em at your own choice and/or risk. (And now that the obligatory disclaimer is out of the way... )
What unrealistic sentamentalist horsehocky, suggesting ending a relationship based on a couple of isolated sentences that none of us even know the true context of! "I can't believe you don't understand" - what Tone of Voice did he say this in? What was the context of the statement - what sort of thing were the two of you discussing, how far along in the conversation was it, and what else was being said/going on that you did Not include? That's something you didn't bother to mention in your post - and yet tone of voice, facial expression, general body language, and contextual setting - all of those type of clues tell a person the Intent of something spoken by another. And let's take "I didn't need to know that" - the other single sentence uttered by him. What was the Overall Context of the entire conversation? General? Random conversation? Asking a specific opinion concerning the subject matter? How long had the conversation gone on, and what sort of permutations had it gone through? Was your anecdotal commentary perhaps irrelevant to the context and other content of the conversation?
Now - you were asked for and provided a few of his "demonstrations of affection". All well and good, but let's examine Those as well, shall we? He shows you lots of physical affection. What does that mean? Holding your hand, putting an arm around you, or kissing in public? Good sex? Physical affection can take many forms. And the term can mean a lot of different things - as can the actions involved - based on perspective. He takes you to dinner. Is that a means of affection, or simply a subconscious means of showing you - like the car you're fond of, and the 'good job' you like him having - that he can Afford you? He has no qualms about introducing you to his friends. Has he shown any qualms about YOUR friends, whether that's meeting them or hanging out with them instead of "his" friends? He Tells You He Loves You. This one made me flat out roll my eyes and have to supress a gag reflex. Talk is cheap and lies are easy. Just because someone "says" that they love you doesn't prove one blinkin thing - except possibly that they know you Want to hear it, and it will potentially make you overlook other problem areas or that it will potentially get them what they want. None of this is said to discourage you from continuing a relationship with him - or to discourage you from potentially deepening that relationship. It is said with the earnest desire that you examine things a bit more realistically, rather than through the rose tint of romanticism and fantasy.
You go on to say that he is experienced in d/s play, but not relationships. What do you mean by "d/s play"? Are you refering to SM and Bondage games sexually? Or are you refering to Power Exchange games? The two are by no means the same. D/S - dominance/submission - power exchange - cannot Exist outside of a relationship of some sort where there is some component of trust and mutual respect, even if that relationship is short term and heavily negotiated. (As in a power exchange that takes place strictly within the confines of a single dungeon scene.) SM, whole different matter, and if you play in a public dungeon where there are others to moniter and potentially step in if something goes wrong, doesn't even necessarily require really Knowing the person you're playing with much less having some sort of personal relationship with them. D/S is a Relationship Style in my book - so I find it difficult to comprehend how someone can be "experienced" at D/S yet Inexperienced at Relationships. (Though someone being experienced at d/s and inexperienced at Sucessful relationships is easily understandable.)
_____________________________
Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations
|
RE: rudeness or oversensitivity - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread