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pixelslave -> RE: frighten slave (5/31/2008 1:17:48 AM)
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mons,
Your sub most likely has PTSD from the experience he had with his Aunt. He's going to need to be desensitized to that experience before he'll be able to enjoy having any kind of spanking or pain experiences with you. He may very likely have flashbacks to those experiences at times and you'll need to be able to provide comfort and safety for him if/when he does. [&:]
You might start by rubbing his buttocks in a pleasurable way, that he enjoys too! Continue doing that regularly without spanking him until he becomes comfortable with you touching him there. On occasion give him a light slap and see how he reacts. Check to see if he knows that it's you. Check to see if he thinks of his Aunt. Laugh if he knows it's you and isn't alarmed to show him that you're having fun. Play with his genitals and get him excited, so that he also associates what you're doing with sexual pleasure as well. He's going to need to learn to trust you and reassociate being touched in various places with pleasurable sensations. [:)] In fact, you're going to need to explore essentially all of his body to find out where he flinches when touched to help him learn to relax and trust you.
If what I've described isn't enough to help you get started or doesn't seem to work, I suggest you Google PTSD and also EMDR. That latter is known to be a very effective treatment for those who suffer from PTSD. I hope this helps you on your journey to a sucessful relationship with your new sub. [:D]
- pixel
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