A Question if I may... (Full Version)

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stormie -> A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 7:41:48 AM)

Greetings Master's,
Greetings All
I am a person who thought in a long time she was a submissive. But over time she is begining to think on things. And due to a Recent Break Up of a Short term M/s Relationship I been a Wondering on somethings.
Are there any Real Dominants out there? Should Submissive Hold their Gift for the Right one and Yet Still do Scenes?...there are Many more Questions But will start with this for now.
Thank You
stormie



OscarHargraves -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 7:52:12 AM)

Hi Stormie,

Yes there are real Masters and Doms out here.

Just like in marriage, it's better to wait and give your gift to the right guy, however, that doesn't mean you have to be celibate while you're looking. You need to do what's right for YOU. Think and decide what you are looking for in a Master then start looking in places that will increase your odds of finding that person. If you want too, there's probably no reason why you can't 'scene' with other people in the meantime just like you would 'date' other men while you were searching for a husband.

Enjoy your life. You only get one chance so use each day to make the rest of your life better.



stormie -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 8:01:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

Hi Stormie,

Yes there are real Masters and Doms out here.

Just like in marriage, it's better to wait and give your gift to the right guy, however, that doesn't mean you have to be celibate while you're looking. You need to do what's right for YOU. Think and decide what you are looking for in a Master then start looking in places that will increase your odds of finding that person. If you want too, there's probably no reason why you can't 'scene' with other people in the meantime just like you would 'date' other men while you were searching for a husband.

Enjoy your life. You only get one chance so use each day to make the rest of your life better.

Thank You OscarHargraves,
See I have been "celibate" for sometime now...I did do some light scenes with this one ex dom. Up to that time I have been holding onto My submission for that right one. Guess I was fooled once again.<sighs>



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 8:02:24 AM)

Life is about you experiencing yourself. Do what is right for you.

I definitely suggest experimenting and exploring at your own pace. The more you make something "an issue" the more it becomes one. Just see life as it is, people in bdsm are no different than people in the vanilla world.



pinkpleasures -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 8:27:42 AM)

Stormie, i have been celibate, apart from one night, for years now. i just grew weary of bad relationships and it sorta happened; i didn't count on it going on so long. However, for a variety of reasons, i personally would not "play" or be intimate with a Man unless i felt we had a shot at something long-term...and He was a genuine Master or Dom. This probably means i'll be celibate again for some time....but i need to do what's right for me.

i suggest you search your heart and decide whether you are really interested in having flings with nen you know cannot be your "One"; there are some really lovely Men who have asked, but who are unavailable due to marriage or age. i revisit my decision alot; but i always come to the same conclusion.

So, whatever you decide to do, know that somewhere, another woman has made a similar choice and that if it makes you happy, it is right for you...no one but your lover is in a position to criticise you for your behavior.

pinkpleasures



Littlepita -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 9:36:48 AM)

Yes there are real dominants out there. I was married for way to many years to a bully that thought he could own me. Now I know what it means to give my submission to someone that is more then worthy of having it.



girl4you2 -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 10:16:11 AM)

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Cloudz -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 10:18:29 AM)

Stormie,

Break ups are hard, and emotional. You already knew that. Perhaps you should spend some time thinking about what did and did not work for you in the recent relationship. That will give you some preparation for your next relationship. Are there any real Dom's out there? Absolutely. Are there Dom's out there who could meet your personal definition of a Dom? Almost certainly.

The more you learn about yourself, the easier it will be to wait for the right one, and the easer it will be to communicate your needs to him when you find him. You ask about continuing to do scenes...again the answer lies within you, and your need and comfort level. In my experience those of us who truly crave the lifestyle eventually re-join the hunt. To hunt and be hunted, it is a deep need for many.

Be kind to yourself, and best of luck in your journey. Allow yourself the time you need to heal from the experience...

~Cloudz



Kinkypupper -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 10:34:46 AM)

Yes ther are and yes there is someone out there for everyones "version" or flavor of kink.
Do not hde yourself away be who and what you are and show others the true self that you are and it will all work out.



greenie -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 5:09:43 PM)

quote:

Should Submissive Hold their Gift for the Right one and Yet Still do Scenes?


What's right for some won't be right for others. You have to decide what is best for you. For myself i have yet to actually be owned though i did start training with Someone, we decided that due to distance to hold off until He moves closer sometime in the next few months. i have waited about 7 years to allow myself to be who i truly am, a submissive woman, and so i decided that until i am with a Master fulltime i want to explore many aspects of bdsm and so i do occassionally play with others. i chose to go this route because, for me, it's the best way to go. You have to decide what you want, need, and desire at this point in your life.



fyreredsub -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 7:35:13 PM)

just read the forums, there are alot of 'real' Dom's out there............however,finding one that fits you or i or the girl next door,that may not be an easy feat.

i know for myself i'm in learn mode more than find someone mode but i'm that way about anything.(i'ld take a motorcycle safety course before i bought a harley,just makes sense to me to be that way).others rush in head first.
i started out almost jumpin the gun but fate is good she intervened.so i slowed down.
i dont think of my submissoin as a gift but its just how i am and since i'm not into sensation play,i don't want a bunch of casual play partners.

each person has to do what they can deal with or are ready for is what it boils down to.



Wolfie648 -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 8:43:44 PM)

quote:

Greetings Master's,
Greetings All
I am a person who thought in a long time she was a submissive. But over time she is begining to think on things. And due to a Recent Break Up of a Short term M/s Relationship I been a Wondering on somethings.
Are there any Real Dominants out there? Should Submissive Hold their Gift for the Right one and Yet Still do Scenes?...there are Many more Questions But will start with this for now.
Thank You
stormie


Are there any real dominants out there?

Yes.

Have you met the one that works for you? No.

would you like to? Yes (I think). Advice: keep at it.

Your gift of submission is no greater than their gift of domination.

Do scenes? It's your life do what you want, unless you've been told otherwise by someone you want to listen to.

D (owner of j)



stormie -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/26/2005 11:17:08 PM)

~smiles~
Thank You A/all for such Great Words of wisdom and Knowledge, I well Sit back and Let things soak in and kinda let time heal things. I will take the Suggestion that many has spoken on and keep coming back to read more. I will take this time to learn what I truely want out of a Dominant and go from there..once again Thank You A/all..

stormie



TheChastiser -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/27/2005 12:22:16 AM)

no matter what social group one belongs to, there will always be some that are not as skillful or perhaps do not apply themselves fully to whatever the activity involved.

its possible that you simply didnt connect with the right person, even though on the surface all things may have seemed fine. at the outset of a relationship, one cannot really see deeply within another person, only time brings out who a person is.

personally, if i were seeking somone, i tend to avoid the avid short term players, but then thats just me. i always prefer a car with low milage.

it may be you are just feeling a little jaded at the end of a relationship, chill a bit, make friends at munches and stuff and this will probably lead to a relationship over time. just dont jump in on the first opportunity though, as this will prob lead to another disaster.

Mike



VaWolf -> RE: A Question if I may... (10/27/2005 3:12:48 PM)

I have to say that there are real masters and doms out there.
Being a master or dom does not change the fact that they are people, as such they very widely.
Like looking for a husband, wait for the right one.
As for looking in the right places for the right person. Here on collarme.com is a good place to start and be opened minded that the one dom or master that is right for you may not be near by. I met my Sub, Kiaya here on collarme.com. She lives and St. Loius and as she is in college and I have just got out of the military, I moving to her from VA. to MO.
Do not give up, there are real doms and masters who are looking for real subs and slaves.
Good Luck.



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