RE: Substance abuse and D/s

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RE: Substance abuse and D/s - 10/26/2005 6:31:39 PM

wipmebeetme100

Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
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quote:

Letr me preface with the fact that my parents were both alchoholics,so I know more than a little about substance abuse and denial.

I am an addict, so i too know a bit about substance abuse. I have been drug free for 6 years....hmmmm, about the same length of time i have been involved in WIITWD.
I was recently involved in a poly relationship in which Masters slave/wife was addicted to drugs. It was hard to watch the things that were going on, lying, stealing, etc. What was even harder for me to watch was Master not taking control of the situation. He was aware of what was happening...and by not taking any action i would have to say he was accepting of the situation. I often questioned, as a slave, just what was my responsibility. Did i just sit back and do nothing...after all didn't i relinquish that control? Or should i take action. I finally decided to talk to Master and let him know that i felt he was not living up to what i considered his responsibilities. He was allowing his slave/wife to commit crimes, steal from friends and family...and by not taking action he was telling her it was ok to do these things. I then waited a couple weeks to see if things were going to change. They did not. I told them that i could no longer associate myself with their house as it may seem that i approved of the things going on in the house. I asked for release.
It is hard to watch someone you care about do destructive things. All you can do is offer your help. You can not make them change....quit using. As an addict i know that the only reason i was able to quit is because i reached the point in which i wanted to quit. Overcoming a drug addiction is not easy...and it takes that DESIRE to quit to make it happen.

Peace,
cathy

(in reply to JustaTop)

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RE: Substance abuse and D/s - 10/26/2005 7:20:41 PM

ZandD

Posts: 59
Joined: 1/24/2005
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Let me preface this by saying that I haven't read the other responses.

As a 7 year sober alcholoic myself, there is nothing that you can do that will cause a person to become aware of their alcoholism/addiction. It's a choice that one has to make for themselves. As my therapist says, "People don't make a change until the pain (of the problem) is great enough to want to make the change".

I drank for 11 years and I was told constantly that if I didn't stop drinking that I was going to kill myself in one way or another. I stopped breathing in the ER twice, I was nearly hit by a car, and I poisoned myself with alcohol more times than I can count.

I stopped because I couldn't live like that anymore. The booze wasn't working anymore and it wasn't making me "feel better" like it used to. I still have little moments (4 or 5 times a year) where the appeal of the mental anestheic properties of alcohol seem attractive, but the memory of all of those unsavory moments I had being drunk takes care of that right away.

I sympathize with anyone who has an addiction which they can't seem to surpass, but until one makes a psychic choice (and change) to live their lives without their drug of choice, my sympathy is all I can give them. I whisper a little prayer and go my own way.

My prayers are with you and with your loved one. I hope you both find peace.

Be well,

Z

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Onward and Upward

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RE: Substance abuse and D/s - 10/26/2005 10:19:54 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
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First and foremost iyou need to protect yourself and the others around this person. Don't let them drag you down with them and do your best to make sure they don't really hurt someone else. That may mean getting completely away from him and directing others to do the same or it may just mean being extra careful when you are with him.

There are a LOT of places and organizations out there that help these people. Start contacting them and see what they have to say. They are professionals and not only have the ability to help this Dom, but they usually have some means of helping the people who are involved with that person too. They can offer instructions on how to handle situations and how to help this person realize they have a problem. Until they admit they have a problem and seek help the odds are pretty small that anyone can get thru to them.

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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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