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Marc2b -> Women have teeth down there! (6/2/2008 6:00:34 PM)
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Deep in the backwoods of Appalachia there lived a poor widower raising his only boy. He was a strict father who knew that his son’s only escape from generations of poverty was in getting a good education so he saw to it that the boy studied hard and got good grades and earned scholarships to college. He was also a deeply religious man who worried that when his son went out into the world on his own, fornication would lead him down the path to eternal damnation in Hell. So he decided to tell a lie in service of a greater good.
As the boy grew into manhood his father would tell him, "son, you be careful around women. They have teeth down there and if you try to stick your noodle in them – THEY’LL BITE IT OFF! In fact, his father told him that women like doing this, that they like enticing Godly young men like him just so they can bite it off with the teeth they have down there. Having little other sources of information about women, the boy grew up believing this.
Then day came when the young man went off to college. A ruggedly handsome young man he quickly garnered a lot of female attention but he always politely rebuffed their advances. One young woman was particularly bewildered by this. She stopped him in a hallway one day to straight out ask him why. "A strapping young man like yourself should have no problem getting all the women he wants. I know you like women, I’ve seen the way you glance at me and the others, so what’s wrong? What are you afraid of?"
"Oh I knows all abouts you women," he answered, "my Pappy, he done warned me about y’all."
"Warned you?" She was very puzzled now.
"That’s right, my Pappy told me how you have teeth down there and how you’ll try to get me to stick my noodle in you just so you can bite it off."
There is a few seconds of silence as the young woman absorbs what she has just heard. Then she doubles over in gales of hysterical laughter. Confused and embarrassed, the young man walks away. Later the young woman feels a little guilty about having laughed at him. He was obviously a yokel from the backwoods. Was it really his fault he was taught such a nonsensical belief? Besides, he was quite good looking. She decides that she will take him in hand. She will teach him.
She goes to his dorm room and apologizes for laughing at him. "I didn’t mean to laugh at you, it just that what you said... well... it’s not true. Women don’t have teeth down there."
"You callin’ my Pappy a liar."
"No, not at all... just... misinformed. I can prove to you that I have no teeth down there." She shuts the door to his room, walks over to his bed, kicks off her shoes, takes off her jeans and panties and sits down on his bed, her legs spread wide. The young man is studiously looking away, a shocked look on his face.
"It’s alright, go ahead and look... I don’t mind."
"No! You jes’ trying to entice me!"
The young woman assures him that she is not trying to entice him, that she only want’s to prove to him that she has no teeth down there. His curiosity overcoming his proper manners, the young man slowly turns to look at her. His expression turns to one of astonishment as he takes in her muff. Suddenly he goes over to his desk and removes a flashlight and a pencil from a drawer. He shines the flashlight directly on her pussy and moves in closer, peering intently. The young woman manages – not without some difficulty – to stifle another laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
It becomes more difficult, and she can’t help but roll her eyes, when he moves in even closer and starts to examine her nether lips with the eraser end of the pencil, parting them and pushing them one way and then the other. He occasionally mumbles a comment like, "Well I’ll be," or "now would ya jes’ look at that."
He seems particularly fascinated at her inner lips and gingerly reaches out with a finger to poke at them, then runs his finger slowly up and down her slit. "Yup, un huh," he says to himself and then stands up. There is a look of concern on his face.
"Well," says the young woman as she puts her panties and jeans back on, "do I have any teeth down there?"
"No ma’am, ya surely don’t," he replies, "and if ya don’t mind me saying, don’t ya think it be a good idea if ya made yourself an ‘pointment with a dentist."
"Why would I do that?" the young woman asks, puzzled.
"Because, Ma’am... your gums... they’s in frightful bad condition."
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