RE: Submissive/Slave (Full Version)

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submissivesilk -> RE: Submissive/Slave (10/28/2005 4:28:37 PM)

i think the difference is what the two people involved make it. Master calls me slave, i have no limits other than His and no choice in what happens. There are probably Doms and subs with the same agreement. i don't think subs are better or worse than slaves or vise versa. i try not to judge anyone in this "lifestyle." There is so much judgement from people outside of it.

Anyway, i guess i got a bit off the subject. i say do what feels best to you, call yourself what you want or what your Owner calls you. As long as it fulfills the need, it's all good.



esclavenico -> RE: Submissive/Slave (10/30/2005 1:10:52 PM)

Maybe it's just a wording issue. I know the difference as it has been exposed earlier on the thread, but basically those two words stands for so much different realities.

Besides, this is in a way a personal issue: to be dealt with your partner/master/dom. I mean it simply depends on your relationship, how you live it, how you want it to be :-)

Words are just words, what is important in this case is how do you act...



ownedjulia -> RE: Submissive/Slave (10/30/2005 4:22:02 PM)

quote:

i think the difference is what the two people involved make it. Master calls me slave, i have no limits other than His and no choice in what happens. There are probably Doms and subs with the same agreement. i don't think subs are better or worse than slaves or vise versa. i try not to judge anyone in this "lifestyle." There is so much judgement from people outside of it.


This is the same for me.

i have accepted his role over me as my Master. he orders and i will obey.

as his slave i have no right of veto, i can say 'no' and he (and has) ignorned it. this is his right, the right i have given him.

we have a contract that basically says he orders and i obey.




slavetobetrained -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/3/2005 5:18:12 PM)

hello ..I am seeking to speak with submissives and slaves about the lifestyle and how to deal with sharing and jealously of another and all kinds of issues. anyone who would care to speak to me, tell me about their struggles and how you over came them. I really would like to learn more
please help



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/3/2005 6:34:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

hello ..I am seeking to speak with submissives and slaves about the lifestyle and how to deal with sharing and jealously of another and all kinds of issues. anyone who would care to speak to me, tell me about their struggles and how you over came them. I really would like to learn more
please help


A lot of your questions have already likely been brought up, do a search for it. Check the poly boards for more specific issues on jealousy and sharing.



pet4mymaster -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/4/2005 2:43:35 AM)

it is obvious you are getting a lot of back and forth and "bickering" of the differances between subs and slaves....and while most people are trying to be civil i can see how some posters are pulling claws just slightly(and i mean no disrespect or harm in this statement) but what i am seeing and i am sure you are as well is that the differances are differant for each one of us
i consider myself a submissive even though i have a contract...am owned by Sir...and have given total control to Sir...in my opinion(and really that is all you can get here is individual opinions) i am not a slave because i see myself as an individual human being and (as in Dark Angle's previous post) i feel that to be a slave is to be FORCED into doing what you are told to do.....to me being a submissive is giving yourself to someone WILLINGLY and doing whatever you are able to to please them of your own accord
i do appologize if i have offened anyone with what i have written and as i said this is only my opinion thank you and have a wonderful day

Serving Sir Now and Always~Pet



submissivesilk -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/4/2005 10:42:31 AM)

When i first started looking around the different BDSM sites, i didn't even know there was a difference between a submissive and a slave. i was simply submissive. i agree with your definition pet4master. my Sir just prefers calling me slave, but nothing i do for Him is forced. Perhaps consentual slavery is a good term too.



KinkyKitten -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/5/2005 7:57:47 AM)

thanks everyone, your all so much help xx



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/9/2005 9:03:13 AM)

not to beat a dead horse but .... there are difference in my mind anyway . a submissive chooses how much she is ready to give to her Dom/Master ... slave gives everything mind body and soul to her Master .... now heres a question I pose to you everyone ... can a sub truely learn to be a slave or is it that she just chooses to give to her Dom everything out of love and trust for him ....



ImpGrrl -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/9/2005 10:13:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

not to beat a dead horse but .... there are difference in my mind anyway . a submissive chooses how much she is ready to give to her Dom/Master ... slave gives everything mind body and soul to her Master .... now heres a question I pose to you everyone ... can a sub truely learn to be a slave or is it that she just chooses to give to her Dom everything out of love and trust for him ....



They both choose. Everyone chooses - and they continue to choose, every moment that they are in the relationship. These are consensual relationships.

The difference between submissive and slave? It's what each person, in each relationship, makes of it.



starshineowned -> RE: Submissive/Slave (11/9/2005 1:15:30 PM)

Greetings..~smiles~

It can certainly be mind boggling at times..lol


I am a dominant slave. I submitted to my Masters grand design for us, and I obediantly carry out those requests to make that a reality as He see's fit.


starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/18/2006 10:36:17 AM)

ok I have been around for a long time . and may not always be hip to the newest of terms .. but I just got completely mind boggled with a "dominant slave" anyone help me here in clarifying that for me ..... seems those two words are an oxymoron . or at the very least dyametrically opposed ....



aellea -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/18/2006 10:41:00 AM)

maybe by saying dominant slave they meant alpha slave???



hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/18/2006 11:10:14 AM)

An Alpha personality would probably be viewed by many (if not most) people as a "dominant" personality type.  The difference - to me - is that a dominant Desires control over another, while someone who is submissive (in this case an alpha submissive, strong personalitied submissive,  or as she put it dominant submissive) has no such desire to control someone else.  Yes, they're strong willed and weild a great deal of control over themselves.  They might even come across as pretty dang intimidating to a lot of other, more mild, personalities.  Yet they still lack that crucial desire to exert control over anyone other than themselves, and have a desire to give over control to their own partner.



impishlilhellcat -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/19/2006 11:19:05 AM)

slave to one Domniant to others?



mstrjx -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/19/2006 12:07:34 PM)

In my opinion, a submissive and a slave are a matter of degrees, but I think there is one word that I didn't see in any of the posts which I use as my personal benchmark when I discuss the Lifestyle with someone new.

Surrender.

When a submissive can get to the point with their partner (which eludes a potential 'slave to one but submissive to another' debate) that their trust level is such that they choose to surrender their free will to that partner, then a slave is born within that relationship.

I'll fend off the discussion about what happens if the relationship goes awry, because I've seen several people speak of themselves as 'unowned slaves'.  To me, this would be someone who understands that they can attain that level of 'surrender' under the appropriate conditions with another partner.  Some submissives might never feel that they can give of themselves so completely.

And no, this shouldn't lead into a 'which is better' discussion.  We all have choices, and choosing not to release yourself completely is not a good/bad issue.  It simply is.



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/19/2006 2:05:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

In my opinion, a submissive and a slave are a matter of degrees, but I think there is one word that I didn't see in any of the posts which I use as my personal benchmark when I discuss the Lifestyle with someone new.

Surrender.

When a submissive can get to the point with their partner (which eludes a potential 'slave to one but submissive to another' debate) that their trust level is such that they choose to surrender their free will to that partner, then a slave is born within that relationship.

I'll fend off the discussion about what happens if the relationship goes awry, because I've seen several people speak of themselves as 'unowned slaves'.  To me, this would be someone who understands that they can attain that level of 'surrender' under the appropriate conditions with another partner.  Some submissives might never feel that they can give of themselves so completely.

And no, this shouldn't lead into a 'which is better' discussion.  We all have choices, and choosing not to release yourself completely is not a good/bad issue.  It simply is.


NOW . this I gotta say is the closest and best answer I have seen to this question in a decade or so .. it's about the surrender .. and yea . their isn't a dam thing wrong with being either submissive or slave it's all in the degree of which is comfortable with you



Sub03 -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/21/2006 12:31:17 PM)

**fast reply**

To put it short and sweet....the difference is what you and yours make it. As easy and simple as that. There is no ONE defeinition for it and probablly never will be. I think we all get too hung up on words and titles that in the end really mean nothing.



fullofgrace -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/21/2006 4:48:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

I'd also like to say if it's just a different word for the same act then why will most subs not be willing to consider themselves a slave even in a 24/7 live in TPE?


Because its a preference of a word.
I live as property, 24/7, TPE no limits completely(all terms I dislike). I am submissive personality. Why am I not called a slave? Because it is His wish not to.


i agree very much with this post.

according to how many people in this thread have defined slave, i am a slave. my Dominant calls me His submissive, so that is how i refer to myself, and how i was referring to myself before i met Him, because i have always been a submissive personality. as someone else mentioned, submissiveness is a personality trait (or i think it was phrased "psychological attribute") and "slave" is a word that refers to property. i am His property, but He calls me His submissive, not His slave, so that's what i call myself.

in my relationship with Him, i have the ability to exercise limits because He gives me that ability, but i choose not to, because i wish His limits to be my only limits. i have a level of trust with Him that allows me to be willing to surrender my free will (and to desire to do so) did He wish it of me. we are not live-in (yet - mostly for logistical reasons - we live about 10 minutes away from each other) but we are "24/7 tpe." i have something like a contract that we discussed when we first began talking about d/s; however, it's not a hard and fast document and many of the changes He has made about the way things are run in our relationship are far from the original document.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And that's a big issue. Slaves are no more/deeper/cooler/sweeter/awesomer than submissives. Any perpetuation of that myth should cease and desist.

Submissioin is also not "just" anything.


have i mentioned lately how much i love you, la?

no, seriously. i really enjoy reading your posts. and thank you for posting this.



missturbation -> RE: Submissive/Slave (6/21/2006 5:36:23 PM)

I asked someone the same question recently and thy gave me this website to look at.
Hope it may help you - it did me.
www.enslavement.org.uk/soyouwant



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