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Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 1:27:18 AM

L8bloomer

Posts: 480
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Your imagination
Status: offline

Oh, I am bummed! I read the profile of a dominant on here and he sounded *perfect*...or at least perfect for me! ;) But I didn't think I would fit the bill for him. But tonight I decided it wouldn't hurt to send him a message, just to say hi - without any expectations. But his profile is gone! :(

So I guess the lesson here is...don't wait...even if you don't think you have a chance, because...to quote - and I can't believe I am quoting him! - Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."

Post #: 1

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 1:42:21 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Whilst I totally agree that people should take the 'bull by the horns' as it were and grab all oppotunities presented - my gut reaction here is - maybe you were fortunate? People rarely just 'disappear' without good reason so maybe you have saved yourself possible drama ? Just another take on the scenario.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 2

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 1:49:21 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Some people simply become disenchanted, feedup or burned out from online dating sites. They simply say, hell with it and kill their account and move onto other fields to see what's there.

Personally, I've done the same madness of account killing. That's why I'm no longer whiplashsmile on here.   Actually, I have been debating about killing this account. Opening up a new one, using part of my name in it.   Chaz(something).

Anyways, I killed my Whiplashsmile account twice, and actually both times it was because of a Major let down.   You know, got lead on by fake game players.

Amazing how people use other people's pictures, invent complete stories about themselves, and claim they are single when really they are not.   Emotionally, not a pleasent experience when you've been getting wrapped up with somebody over a couple of months.   Just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

I actually found myself kicking myself in the ass for having passed up exploring things with somebody else more sincere.   The game players not only fuck it up for the people they are playing games with, but for other people as well.   It's also pretty self defeating behavior for the Game players as well.

All in All, I killed a previous account on here twice. Think I opened my first account on here back in 2004.   Did not really start using the site too much until winter 2006.

I've seen people come and go, and some even come back again, after heartbreak and let down.   There have been profiles I thought about responding to but did not.. only to have them go poof.   I've gone poof a few times on people too. Just needed to take a break. Can't seem to stay away from here any longer then a couple of months.

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 3

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 5:00:46 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Meh, I've encountered a lot of people over the years who sounded "perfect" in their profiles, but not one of them turned out to be. They tend to not include the information that makes them not-so-perfect, and you find that out later on. Chances are, even if you had contacted him, he would have pulled the profile anyway. He may have had a wild hair one weekend and wrote the "perfect" profile, then come Monday morning, "remembered" he had a wife....or his mother caught him....

Don't beat yourself up. On to the next one!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 4

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 5:12:52 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I take the approach that if I see something with potential, if I have time right then I send a mail... most turn out to be nothing, but I would have never known for sure had I not tried. If I do leave it and they vanish (Or the profile goes to 'under consideration' or 'Owned') before I get around to it... I've still lost nothing, so I don't worry about it. It isn't as if I had invested any effort in that person yet.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 5

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 5:27:59 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Keep checking up on the name. I knew a guy who would make his profile active whenever he wanted to log on. Then as he left he would unjoin. I was never sure if it was because he had a wife, or a mother.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 6

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 6:16:05 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
Keep checking up on the name. I knew a guy who would make his profile active whenever he wanted to log on. Then as he left he would unjoin. I was never sure if it was because he had a wife, or a mother.
Kyst

We all got a mother !!!!

apparently he did have something to hide!

Have a good one.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 7

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 6:19:31 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Don't kick yourself so hard over what you fear was a lost opportunity, or you might find yourself limping too slowly too the next!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 8

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 6:27:32 AM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

Some people simply become disenchanted, feedup or burned out from online dating sites. They simply say, hell with it and kill their account and move onto other fields to see what's there.

Personally, I've done the same madness of account killing. That's why I'm no longer whiplashsmile on here.   Actually, I have been debating about killing this account. Opening up a new one, using part of my name in it.   Chaz(something).

Anyways, I killed my Whiplashsmile account twice, and actually both times it was because of a Major let down.   You know, got lead on by fake game players.

Amazing how people use other people's pictures, invent complete stories about themselves, and claim they are single when really they are not.   Emotionally, not a pleasent experience when you've been getting wrapped up with somebody over a couple of months.   Just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

I actually found myself kicking myself in the ass for having passed up exploring things with somebody else more sincere.   The game players not only fuck it up for the people they are playing games with, but for other people as well.   It's also pretty self defeating behavior for the Game players as well.

All in All, I killed a previous account on here twice. Think I opened my first account on here back in 2004.   Did not really start using the site too much until winter 2006.

I've seen people come and go, and some even come back again, after heartbreak and let down.   There have been profiles I thought about responding to but did not.. only to have them go poof.   I've gone poof a few times on people too. Just needed to take a break. Can't seem to stay away from here any longer then a couple of months.

Man i've gone through more incarnations here than a genie; i get bored with my nick after awhile and just feel the need for a fresh start.

i dun suffer as much from insincere people as i used to; i've learned to ask some questions and if i don't get answers...or don't like the answers..i just shine T/them on. Seems to help. Just a suggestion.

Best wishes.

pinksugarsub

_____________________________

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 9

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 6:37:17 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

As someone else said, keep checking his name. I hide my profile all the time when I don't want to encourage people to write to me. Sometimes I already have too much email in my in-box and don't want to deal with any more, sometimes I'm really busy, whatever, but I'll "unhide" when I have more time. But, yes, there is a lesson there: carpe dominum!

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 10

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 6:46:29 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

New people join every day. The possibilities are seemingly endless, unless you are looking for things like common sense and stability. In that case you may find that there isn't a broad population to choose from.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 11

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 7:33:24 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I have read a lot of profiles, responded to a lot of profiles, and even met several women in real life. I can still remember the perfect profile. It was awesome. She was funny, well read, into gardening and the outdoors. I wrote her, and she wrote me right back. I was ecstatic.

Turns out it was a Nigerian scammer who had copy-pasted a profile from Match.com.

True fucking story.

I go for imperfect now. "You write you are looking for X, Y and Z. I am X and Y, but I suck at Z. I like you because of Q, and maybe we could do A together." Stuff like that. It seems to work better than waiting for the perfect woman.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 12

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 7:35:05 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Oh, and Katy, that might have been the funniest thing you ever wrote.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 13

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 7:43:58 AM

gloriahhh

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: L8bloomer

But his profile is gone! :(

Gone isn't always really gone. Sometimes it just means the person has temporarily made their profile "Hidden" from public view. If it's "hidden", it's still there and, at some point can be "Unhidden". So, check back on it, from time to time, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

But, yeah, i agree, when you see someone who sparks your interest, go ahead and send a little note of introduction. It doesn't hurt to just say, "Hi" and, it might just turn out to be the best thing you ever did.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 14

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 9:07:14 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Venatrix I love it when you speak Latin.

(in reply to gloriahhh)

Post #: 15

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 9:09:42 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

what seemed perfect about it?

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 16

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 9:10:51 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

You probably dodged a bullet.

the universe has a funny way of giving you what you need, not necessarily what you want

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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 17

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 9:31:00 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

As some said profile could be stolen from others ,, I have seen profiles that were copies of someone else views of domination from these forums, some are nothing but a bunch of BS designed to attract subs and do not reflect the persons personal views at all ...some of the doms that suddenly disappear is a result of spouse or significant other finding out what they are doing online ..LOL I was once contacted by a sub of one Dom that wrote to me..our conversation were innocent but I guess others he was writing to wasn't .. she ended up deleteing his profile before dumping him. Many married or attached men avoid saying they are attached in their profiles ..it is usually something I ask about early on .... and I found it is not enough just to ask if they are married because they could have a common law spouse and still be able to answer honestly that no they are not married ...you need to ask whether they are in a relationship with anyone including subs, dom/mes

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to gloriahhh)

Post #: 18

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 10:02:12 AM

mzbehavin

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

I've also deleted myself. Goodbye cruel cyberspace! Taken breaks, then returned later. I'm not married, though i do have a mother. I regularly turn off (hide) my profile because im a woman and entitled to change my mind about allowing access to myself.
So there...
grins*
Besides, i figured out i can post on the message boards whether or not my profiles hidden, and really, im just a message board slut.

_____________________________

There's never really a good time for the whole Man to Beast thing...Just kind of~Whaum! and hope for the best...
ToTo from The O.Z.

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 19

RE: Waaah! Lesson learned - 6/4/2008 10:10:46 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: L8bloomer

Oh, I am bummed! I read the profile of a dominant on here and he sounded *perfect*...or at least perfect for me! ;) But I didn't think I would fit the bill for him. But tonight I decided it wouldn't hurt to send him a message, just to say hi - without any expectations. But his profile is gone! :(

So I guess the lesson here is...don't wait...even if you don't think you have a chance, because...to quote - and I can't believe I am quoting him! - Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."

I see this is your first post here...welcome. I am sorry this has happened to you. Things happen for a reason, well things happen for reasons and many of those reasons are outside of our control.
When you look back didn't things 'happen' on the whole for the better?
I always look at how long a person has been on collarme. It's just another bit of information I know but..... Now it could be that they have been here for years but have decided to create a new user name and profile. BUT my experience is that when a person first joins they are full of enthusiasm in whatever their intention was in joining. I mean if they are interested in debating, discussing issues on the forums then soon after that person joins they will create an opening thread to get started and usually be quite open, amenable and discursive in their interactions and responses to others posting. Some of those who have been here longer (but not all, don't shoot me down) have a far more skeptical attitude and chip back with negating one liners.
If someone joins with the intent to seek out another then they will be active in doing so when they join. I think some on this site (and many other personals sites not just bdsm) might tire or become jaded in their search especially if they have had poor experiences.
When did your disappearing Dom join? Can you remember? Maybe he just grew tired. Maybe his disapproving wife discovered he was using the site. Maybe, maybe, maybe.....who knows. maybe he will re-appear as the same person but with a different name and contact you again. A disappearing Dom is better than being stalked or blackmailed. Anyway there are plenty more fish in the sea......and even more pebbles on the beach.
PS Ed. to add: anyone can create themselves as the 'perfect' on-line Dom, simply anyone.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/4/2008 10:12:45 AM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to L8bloomer)

Post #: 20

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