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what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/23/2004 11:10:29 PM

dutchie

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

i moved for a Mistress to the US, 5 years ago, did everything to please Her, but there was almost no playing, when there was playing it didnt last long, 15, 20 minutes that was it, no comforting after the play, She walked away.
Also, i had to ask for playing, , i might be wrong, but if You are a real lifestyler, Y/you should have youre moments when you want to play.
and second, very weird, when there was playing, She asked me what i wanted what She should do to me.

Then She decided i had no stopword, , had to take what She gave me,despite my bodysigns that i was in deep pain, She kept going on.

Please let me know your conclusions, is this lifestyle? or is it just a wannabee

Post #: 1

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/23/2004 11:17:29 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It seems kind of late to be asking that question. Why didn't you find out before moving?

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 2

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/23/2004 11:41:02 PM

dutchie

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

i met Her twice before i moved, first time there was no playing, second time, well let say She won me,tought i was fine

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 3

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/23/2004 11:44:46 PM

SherriA

Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Did your interactions change after you moved in with her? If so, then you knew what it would be like before you took that step. Or did the relationship change substantially after you moved in together?

Now, if you say that you hadn't spent significant REAL time with this woman (not online/email/phone) and hadn't played with her many times as well as spent MUCH "vanilla" time with her already then I'm going to suggest that perhaps you're the one that "wanted to be" a little too quickly for your own good.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 4

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/23/2004 11:50:22 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello dutchie,

I am sorry to read about your experience and hope you find what you are looking for. I have some issues with the way you ask the question.

Is it lifestyle? Well, yes. To apply a single instance as a general rule or example of a whole class is something I personally find leads to narrowmindedness and lack of tolerance for other people. Sounds to me like her kink doesnt match your needs.

Is she a wannabe? Well, perhaps, but it is not really my place to judge. Again, it may be a situation where your kink does not match her needs.

You really have two choices. Go or stay, and you are the only one who can make the decision as to whether you are willing to live the relationship you have or cast yourself adrift hoping to find another.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 5

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 4:45:17 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dutchie
Please let me know your conclusions, is this lifestyle? or is it just a wannabee

A "wannabee" what? Sounds more like she is a "don't wannabee" someone who "plays."

I think if you really want to have a discussion on how typical her practices are, you would need to provide much more information. First, define "play." Did she have you clean the house, mow the lawn, paint her nails and dress at all times like Evita Peron, but refused to spank you when you were "bad"? Perhaps your idea of play did not interest her very often, but you completely missed her idea of play.

Or is "play" sex?

I think we would need to know what your relationship was like when you weren't playing to know if this is simply a gripe or if you moved to be in a 'nilla relationship with a "don't wannabee."

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 6

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 8:17:14 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

You moved in with her after two meetings? Not only that but you changed countries? Too soon dude, but you know that.

Did you discuss playing or was her lack of interest a surprise? Did you know she would not let you have a safeword or did that just happen out of the blue? (Yes, communication before sevice is nice.

)

She asked you what form of play you wanted? I can see that if there was never much communication. I mean her coming at you with a strap-on when you have a deep need to worship her feet could waste much of the 20 minutes.

(Yes, communication before play is nice.

)

Yeah, I'm a smartass, but I think the communication was missing from the start. If the pass falls incomplete both the QB and receiver are at fault. (Sorry, I don't know a Soccer variation for that metaphor.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 7

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 8:27:52 AM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

How does that song go? "i am a simple man, and I have a simple house...." Something like that.
You come in and you ask a question. Estring gave the answer I would have given, but since he already took that one, I am going to come up with something else here.

The two of you were obviously not a match. The relationship was lacking some quality factors. Like maybe some "chemistry", "agreement", and "communication", just to name a few of the BIG things that are necessary for a relationship of any kind, in any lifestyle, to succeed.

These may be things you would want to look for in future relationships before committing to them.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 8

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 8:56:51 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
If the pass falls incomplete both the QB and receiver are at fault. (Sorry, I don't know a Soccer variation for that metaphor.)

If the pass fails then both the midfielder and winger are at fault.

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 9

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 9:52:00 AM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

dutchie, Not being in your shoes, I will have to rely on what limited information you have given. I fully understand the extraordinary expense of flying from another country to here would prohibit you getting the real life communications that would have allowed you a more informed view of her lifestyle. We all know the limitations of type and phone.
It took a great leap of faith for you to uproot yourself, leaving your known world to come here. That it is an unhappy situation for you now does not detract from the fact you made the effort and the committment. Many males who would have much shorter distances to travel never go further than typing their desires.
Your Mistress had to at some point voice a strong interest in you for you to come. The fact that she moved you into her home was an indication she wanted you as a submissive male in her world. Slight differences are to be expected and that you would have to adjust to her desires a given.
Possibly you could have elaborated on you question to us a bit more. My opinion is if this is a bad fit, then thank her for her time and seek another now that you are in this country you have the added advantage of time and travel at a much lower expense. Stay safe. Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 10

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 6:11:00 PM

MistressDarla63

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline

hummmmm well I have since talked to this Mistress and of course there are 2 sides to every story, seems he never asked for his release just took off his bracelet and started trolling, and I am ONE that he trolled, and found out he is going to visit another domme from missouri on here he recently started talking to .. this after he told me I sounded like the perfect fit for him... so just remember folks ... there are 2 sides to every story... I don't know what to think about him now.

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 11

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 7:11:32 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Darla, it is interesting how the other side of the story fills in all those annoying little discrepencies in his story huh? I think a new thread should be started: Sub or wannabe.

(in reply to MistressDarla63)

Post #: 12

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 7:14:57 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

I suggest: Try honesty! Try honesty!

*blasts a little Billy Talent for all.

- LA

P.S.: I'm in a mood tonight... be forewarned!

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 13

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 7:17:22 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If the pass fails then both the midfielder and winger are at fault.

Thanks Taggard!

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 14

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 7:23:23 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

That brings up a valid question. Does he have to get release or should we assume release is automatic when consent is withdrawn.
(OK, if the alternative is he agreed to nonconsentual slavery and must get raped regularly and do the dishes I side with automatic release but what do I know I'm a submissive.

)

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 7/24/2004 7:25:17 PM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressDarla63)

Post #: 15

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/24/2004 11:56:21 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

hummmmm well I have since talked to this Mistress and of course there are 2 sides to every story, seems he never asked for his release just took off his bracelet and started trolling, and I am ONE that he trolled, and found out he is going to visit another domme from missouri on here he recently started talking to .. this after he told me I sounded like the perfect fit for him... so just remember folks ... there are 2 sides to every story... I don't know what to think about him now

This thread seems reminiscent of the thread "Should he die for this?" where a person posts to a BDSM message board hoping to find people to agree with their own personal story.

I suspect this person posted to find people who would agree that their lies were justified by the circumstances they found themselves in.

Rather pathetic to me. If one is going to engage in subterfuge and lies as a way of life, would be nice if they would have the cajones to do so without requiring everybody else's approval.

But that is just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 16

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/25/2004 11:07:48 AM

MistressDarla63

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline

Congratulation to the prize winner! Thought I have strong doubts about the prize part. It warms my heart to know that there are people out there who will accept the word of a person without doing any investigation as to the circumstances. Especially when the past activities of a person are documented and those activities are less than stellar in quality. It is said that to “forgive is divine”…well, how many times does one forgive? Some will say and do just about anything to gain the sympathy of others when all bridges are burning, so to speak. If one can not keep their promises, is that someone worth a second thought? Submissive or slave who fails in keeping their word is and has risked much to achieve those things that are worthwhile and that they already have but are not grateful for.
Thoughtsfrom LadyBV54

quote:

< Message edited by MistressDarla63 -- 7/26/2004 8:50:53 PM >

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 17

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/25/2004 12:41:08 PM

dutchie

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

MistressDarla63
Thank You for the excellent job, Don't You see You are being used, LadyBV54 will get what is wants, keeping me here, at Her place, that is still what she wants, and besides, what she calls leaving 3 times, No, that is not the full truth, but i cant get in details about that.

How about You, we were talking about a LTR, but You never mentioned anything about that other one You was talking too, does that gives trust, no, i dont think so.

So yes, i started talking with Others, that is true
with my experiences,it starts to scare me, to be not open with another, and yes i admit, i was not open either.

So want to tell to E/everybody, do think what Y/you want to believe, i rst my case

dutchie

(in reply to MistressDarla63)

Post #: 18

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/25/2004 1:06:34 PM

MistressDarla63

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline

dutchie you never asked if I talked to others, talking and making plans to meet are 2 totally seperate issues, YOU state in bondage that deal breakers are liars, lol funny sounds like yourself, and like I told you if you don't like being there ... MOVE out and get a place of your own, seems to me you SHOULD try to live on your own for a while so you won't be so desperate to move in with the first person that will take you! I am a woman and I guess I can understand her point of view as well, she told me a few more things but I won't discuss them in an open forum, you still have my # if you want to call and clarify yourself, there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every story .. and everyone just hearing ONE side isn't fair to the one being accused. IF it were She that were talking about you being a wannabe Im sure you would want everyone to hear your side as well.

As we all know any relationship is hard, and it takes both parties to make it work, when one gives up it usually crumbles, and one moves on, like I told you I THINK you should move out on your own , you have a job a car a bed , computers, what more do you need at this time? Even if you are submissive there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, and showing her and everyone concerned you can make it on your own!

(in reply to dutchie)

Post #: 19

RE: what to think? Domme or wannabee - 7/25/2004 2:48:01 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

Everything I ever wanted to know about wannabes I learned from the Offspring song
"Pretty Fly For A White Guy."

Thank you for resting your case, dutchie, but methinks thee doth protest too much.

If it is so horrible, why dont you pack up and leave?

If it is not so horrible and you originally posted this as some sort of weird non-consensual kink episode between yourself and your Significant Other, thanks a
pant's load for the consideration and respect you have shown the rest of us.

Just my opinion, probably wrong, dont know (dont really want to know) the whole
story, so...

Peace out.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MistressDarla63)

Post #: 20

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