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RE: Topping a first timer - 6/6/2008 5:53:18 PM

BikerDomRealTime

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: uniquecouple2123

Hi you guys. I just wanted to ask your advice on something. I am a dominant and I already have a submissive. We are both fairly new to the whole scene but have been progressing well in our relationship.

We are currently talking to a girl to become our third and she is brand new to all of this. She is pretty sexually inexperienced and completely inexperienced with bdsm. She says she has always had fantasies about it and is absolutely aroused by pain.

We've hung out a couple of times already and I gave her a couple of smacks with the crop just to give her a taste but as she is kind of shy (which I find very hot) I was taking it slow. She is coming over tonight and I was going to top her for her very first time ever.

Anything that I should keep in mind?

Go slow...
Be patient...
Safewords...
Safewords...
Safewords...
Respect safewords.
Go back to beginning

(in reply to uniquecouple2123)

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Post #: 21

RE: Topping a first timer - 6/6/2008 7:29:23 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I came to my Sir so new as to have the cardboard box smell still on me.
He took me in and asked my preferences - i couldn't tell him - i didn't know what i liked and didn't like. I had no limits because i hadn't experienced anything. It was a little frustrating because i didn't know enough to know what i wanted.

My first scene he spanked me so hard with his hand i was bruised black and blue - and had a great time at work "accidentally" bumping into tables and doors, to make them hurt. It certainly didn't run me off - infact if he had taken it down a notch i would have been disappointed.

He has since told me that he doesn't take it down a notch, that he sees it as a form of dishonesty, in that, when the intensity goes up subs can be unpleasantly surprised. If the sub is to be with him, then there is a fair amount of pain that they need to be good with, and springing it on them months into a relationship is not a good idea.

Interestingly, there were a few times when i asked for more, because i didn't feel "finished", i felt as if i hadn't had enough to reach a certain point. Not necessarily subspace, but my body felt as if it wasn't complete. Very odd.

Full out intensity worked for me. It gave me the experience that i was wanting, even though i didn't know what i wanted. It might not work forevery one, but , equally, going slow won't work for everyone either.

(in reply to BikerDomRealTime)

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Post #: 22

RE: Topping a first timer - 6/6/2008 8:46:37 PM

MrRandallspe

Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

When I was very new to all of this,I would have enjoyed all of this great information.
I had to learn slowly and even talked with a Pro Domme when I started out in the 1980's.
Best of luck to you.

(in reply to Corvidae)

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Post #: 23

RE: Topping a first timer - 6/7/2008 12:06:28 PM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

Most of all enjoy yourself :) My main focus is fun and that is how it should be, fun.

Sensory play is a good starter, blindfolds, soft/mild spanking, tweaking the nipples, gentle cropping etc.

We all have to start somewhere, so the best of luck to you, enjoy!

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

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Post #: 24

RE: Topping a first timer - 6/7/2008 12:48:12 PM

JoePNY707

Posts: 293
Joined: 6/4/2008
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I'd say if you are playful the first few times--and if you have a sense of humor, things should progress nicely.

Going slow and easy is always good advice!

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Post #: 25

RE: Topping a first timer - 6/7/2008 6:10:27 PM

boundinside

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/7/2008
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Well I'm pretty sure this advice is already to late, but nevertheless you might find it helpful. I to am inexperienced, both in vanilla life and BDSM. I would suggest you take slow but not to slow...if that makes any sense. First off, establish your positions with some kind of act of dominance. Secondly I would take total charge. Personally if I were you, I wouldn't ask her what her interests were right off the bat because if she is a true submissive she would only be considered wit your interests. My final thought is to leave her wanting more. Never give to so much to where she thinks there is nothing more.

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Post #: 26