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groups - 10/28/2005 12:30:55 AM

LGslave

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

why is it that their are always those on groups who have to belittle others al the time taking thier honest posts and ripping them apart for what ?

why do they do this i dont want to post anymore and now i read others are not posting for the same reason and they contact me offline instead
why what can be gained from it

are W.we not compassionte anymore are W.we so wrapped up in self its ok for our kink not others

are they simply sad creatures needing attention

i get so sick of it i had to fight to become a slave and i had to be strong and its so silly to read all this stuff but its nasty stuff and it gets you down to read all this slagging off its so not adult and not what BDSm is about

< Message edited by LGslave -- 10/28/2005 12:32:57 AM >

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RE: groups - 10/28/2005 1:58:04 AM

ragdoll

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline

i have to admit, i wish you'd definite "taking their honest posts and ripping them apart" better. i'm not quite sure what you're talking about......?

(in reply to LGslave)

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RE: groups - 10/28/2005 2:13:23 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I know exactly what you mean. About five minutes ago I was thinking, "Screw this site. A lot of the people act so petty. I wouldn't want to meet some of these people and I certainly wouldn't be friends with them." Then I realized that that's life for most people. I can't avoid how some idiots act, and how so many try to give the appearance that they're the crowning jewel of all others' existences (for various reasons). Some people just suck. Not inherently, but they act like it. Just ride it out. There's no sense in leaving a good message board because you don't like some of the people. There are good people left. If there's someone that rubs you the wrong way, just ignore them... then they'll be talking to themself, and we all know how odd that looks. Everyone will probably be ignoring them shortly. Chalk it up to growth and experience.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to LGslave)

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RE: groups - 10/28/2005 6:06:50 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LGslave
why is it that their are always those on groups who have to belittle others al the time taking thier honest posts and ripping them apart for what ?

I think that when people ask for opinions,...they get them. We just all don't think alike, and sometimes responses come off as attacking, rather than just sharing a thought.

I know some of my own words have come across harshly, when it was never my intent. (And yes, there are times when it IS my intent.

)

Some people attack, and I do think it's to make themselves feel better. It's an emotional release for them, and maybe an ego builder to see themselves in print. I just try not to take any posts too seriously. If someone attacks me (rather than my view), I may or may not react, but then I let it go.

Sometimes I might banter with someone, in jest, and others will see it as arguing, or being nasty. I think many people that exchange tough posts are actually enjoying themselves. I try not to read more into others' words.

Thankfully, those type of posts are the norm in this group.

K

(in reply to LGslave)

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Post #: 4

RE: groups - 10/28/2005 6:09:58 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

On the other hand, what's with all the fluffy posters who want to act like we're all so happy and together and conformed and what we say on the surface is completely the real truth and as long as you give enough hugs and kisses, any problem can be worked through?

This is intellectual discourse. If someone can break down your ideas and posts with a few lines of typing, instead of getting upset, why not examine that perhaps they might have something going? That perhaps your ideas could use some sharpening and refining?

I'm not saying you have to, I'm not saying the other person had anything actually sensible to say. But if you want to actually get to the meat and ideas of a situation, you can't just give hugs and kisses and pats on the head.

If you put something out in public to be discussed, it can and will be used as anyone else chooses. Don't get upset with THEM for seeing things you don't want to see.

Yes, there is a balance of compassion. I'm sure you've occasionally said harsher things than you realized was appropriate in retrospect. Such is life. What you should do is ignore the emotions and get to the actual ideas.

(in reply to LGslave)

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RE: groups - 10/28/2005 9:14:44 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

This is intellectual discourse. If someone can break down your ideas and posts with a few lines of typing, instead of getting upset, why not examine that perhaps they might have something going? That perhaps your ideas could use some sharpening and refining?

True enough. Good point. However, discussion does tend to get out of hand and resort to flame wars quite often, not only on this site, but all of them. I don't think we all need to imitate the "Oh, here, let me kiss your boo boo better" behavior, but we should try to keep the discussion and idea sharing in an informative and helpful, not critical light.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: groups - 10/28/2005 9:44:26 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain
True enough. Good point. However, discussion does tend to get out of hand and resort to flame wars quite often, not only on this site, but all of them. I don't think we all need to imitate the "Oh, here, let me kiss your boo boo better" behavior, but we should try to keep the discussion and idea sharing in an informative and helpful, not critical light.

I agree. But flame wars and people making direct insults to a person rather than dealing with the actual concepts is simply a function of the internet world.

I agree that we should keep the discussions informative and helpful- but part of doing so is by being critical...of the IDEA, not the person.

Many people can't get past the thought that because I disagree with an idea or choice, doesn't mean I don't like YOU or think YOU are a bad person.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

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Post #: 7

RE: groups - 10/28/2005 11:15:11 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Many people can't get past the thought that because I disagree with an idea or choice, doesn't mean I don't like YOU or think YOU are a bad person.

Point. Set. Match. You win.

I agree with you. Constructive criticism is a good thing. That's what I had in mind when I typed the above post, but I've been running on a severe lack of sleep the past week, so my points come across a little muddled. Ugh, speaking of sleep, it's time for me to get to it. I've got a huge day tomorrow that involves speed cleaning and thirty people in my tiny apartment. =)

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 8

RE: groups - 10/28/2005 11:48:39 PM

phoenixMF

Posts: 23
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline

hi LGslave,
sorry you had some trouble, some of us are nice! *waving at ya.... smile

(in reply to LGslave)

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Post #: 9

RE: groups - 10/29/2005 8:47:23 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

i do understand. i have been ripped apart here...but i keep fighting. i will not let a few idiots tell me what i can or can not do or say.
there are a few places where the moderators stepped in...and i even got emailed by a couiple...and i told em..."hey, dont chew on MY ass...i am just defending myself and exercising my civil rights to freedom of speech and freedom of the press" and within time it has stopped.
"I" don't take backlip off no one,,,even if it is a few that call themselves domme and try to tell me i am wrong....hey--MY life MY game-MY rules.

it IS difficult.............but i say-----------hang in there...........it gets better.

woofie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to LGslave)

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RE: groups - 10/29/2005 12:12:59 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Some just like to argue.
Some people post to cause pain.
Some do so because it gives them a sense of control to know their negativity effects, it is the only power they will ever feel.
Some post to place over another point of view. You can accept it and use it for the positive or view it negatively. That is Your decision.
One has to search though alot of coal to find a diamond. But to a person who has wisdom, even the coal has its uses.

Peace and Love