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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/8/2008 10:01:15 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
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Sir tells me humiliation is not something I am wired for. Last night I watched a man suck Sir's cock. The male sub was so turned on by it. I was too. If that act went out of the house, yes, I am sure people who know me or Sir would think we are off to the weirdness bin.....

Sir tells me my empathy level is way too high. I can't even watch people on TV, such shows as "So you think you can dance" or "Top Chef" (like Matty) humiliate themselves on public TV. I have to turn it off and I feel so .... I dont know, humiliated for them?

HardtoTame has an excellent question.
A male sub sho lives not far from me is totally into plastic and knows each and every plastic product out there.... when he was telling all about this ftish, I did think how pathetic. He could tell me which plastic bag at our localmarket made for better diapers. I steered away from buying it. Now that several years have gone by.....
I still cant get over how pathetic it would be if I saw him at the market......

but one think I have learned.... just cause it aint my scene or fetish or humiliation doesnt mean it should be anothers.

I do have a choice to look the other way or play differ tapes in my own head.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/8/2008 10:16:38 AM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame

Have you ever just stepped back, and looked at it all, and thought "you know some parts of this are just rediculous"

I haven't thought about it as ridiculous, but I have wondered at times why my cock gets so freaking hard as a result of certain submissive thoughts.

(in reply to HardToTame)

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/8/2008 3:00:12 PM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
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With pet and I we have a very unique relationship, while he understands that I love him, and care for him very much we also have the understanding that he is my slave and I am his Mistress. While we can have fun, joke around, and just be ourselves I can switch into a stronger level whenever I wish. Like next time he picks me up I may grab his collar, pull his face close to mine and tell him to kiss the top of my boots. I couldn't imagine us being any other way, BDSM and love all in one.~Lorelei

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(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/8/2008 3:21:04 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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I've heard "I can't believe I'm doing this for you" any number of times, lol.

As for me, I may hurt, but I never injure, and since *I* think everything I do is fun ( or I wouldn't be doing it), no remorse.

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a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to HardToTame)

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/8/2008 4:09:42 PM

subtex

Posts: 129
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame

Some one said early the term 'my owner'. Things like that. Sometimes I think about that and think, it's a bit rediculous to actually call someone your 'owner'. I guess in the fun of it all yeah, but then to communicate with others about all this and to use these terms, I just find it a bit rediculous. Again, that border of fantasy and reality.

Okay, I won't take your "being treated like shit" statement quite so literally then. Rewind me all the way back to the late 70's and sure I've had lots of doubts. Of course it was all black and white for me then. I don't mean color photos hadn't been invented yet but the concept of a loving femdom relationship was still in my future. I am pretty sure though that the term femdom hadn't been invented yet. Anyway, as far as I knew you either opted into a total slave arrangement or a vanilla relationship. I didn't know about the continuum that existed between the two. Back then the whole idea often seemed silly especially immediately after climax. Maybe that was a coincidence.:) This happened less and less as I learned about the possibilities of connecting with someone on an intellectual and emotional level and I found out there was another stirring behind the sexual one that is often swamped out. I think maybe that's why you got so many "no's" to that question here. Lots of people in healthy relationships and plenty of instant information for guidance.
Bill

(in reply to HardToTame)

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/8/2008 5:56:55 PM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame

Some one said early the term 'my owner'. Things like that. Sometimes I think about that and think, it's a bit rediculous to actually call someone your 'owner'. I guess in the fun of it all yeah, but then to communicate with others about all this and to use these terms, I just find it a bit rediculous. Again, that border of fantasy and reality.

I think theres some saught of social aspect of this with me that just doesn't sit. I couldn't actually go and organise a 'session' because to me (with all due respect to the professionals) it would feel like visiting a brothel. If it were to happen spontaneously, in the heat of the momment, then it would feel right to me. And so, I just question the normality of having like, organised punishment.

Role playing games such as "Mistress and slave" can feel false and ridiculous. It depends on your ability to suspend disbelief and immerse yourself in the role.

It does help to be able to laugh at our own silliness sometimes. Some people get far too attached to their D/s identity and take the whole thing too seriously. I don't see anything wrong with knowing you are not really a slave, you are just pretending.

As long as you are having great fun, who cares if both of you are participating in a role playing game that is not "normal"?

Looking at it that way, you might find it easier to organise and enjoy your own sessions. You cannot go through life expecting every Mistress you meet will magically "make" you feel spontaneously submissive all by herself despite your internal resistance. Sooner or later you need to summon and control your own desire to submit.

Well thats exactly right, I completely agree. Theres a time and place kinda thing. Just sometimes when I see people who, aren't in the middle of a session, who are just socialising, and they talk about their partner like an 'owner' and stuff like that, it makes me feel a bit rediculous to be conversing with them, because I get the sense they can't fully seperate that fantasy from reality. But your right, as long as it's fun, then thats all that matters of course. Just, I'm very picky in this all about who I think does it for fun and who takes it a bit too far. Although, it's the same in any scene. For example, a music scene. Theres people who like a kind of music but then retain their own individuality, but then theres those who like that music, and wear the fashion and speak the language and even when they're not at a music event or something assosciated with that scene, they continue to act out those stereotypical traits that accompany that scene.

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/9/2008 2:31:57 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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I stopped overanalyzing decades ago.

TM

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RE: Does anyone ever stop and think--- - 6/9/2008 5:49:55 AM

cluelessslave

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/7/2008
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quote:

Have you ever stopped and wondered and thought, as a sub a domme or who ever, and, say form a subs perspective just stopped and thought "wow, this is pathetic, I'm letting this woman treat me like shit.... Get some balls"

I have never had a relationship that did not include abuse from my partner. In my experience women always "treat men like shit", because they dislike men on several levels even if they also can love them at the same time. BDSM is a counter-culture that provides some context for expressing what are normal hatreds. In a non-BDSM relationship the woman has to pretend she does not hate her man. She has to invent excuses to get angry. She makes it HIS fault; that he MADE her upset. Then when she is upset she has an excuse to be hateful. Then she is abusive. In BDSM it ought to be possible for her to just own her hatred and express it directly. If it is sexual, all the better, because that is how love is expressed as well. I would rather she lay down beside me and whisper in my ear whatever it was she was disgusted about at the moment. If her hand is on my hard dick at the time, it becomes an erotic kind of denigration. But it's the honesty I want. The same goes for sexual fidelity or lack of it. Is she happy being faithful, or is that another source of resentment and hatred that she will express in a sneaky way? I would rather she call me up and tell me she stopping at a friends house after work to get laid, than lay next to me cold and silent at night as she struggles by herself with guilt and anger at being attracted to another man. I just take it for granted that in any relationship with a woman, she will abuse me. If she does it openly I can enjoy it.

< Message edited by cluelessslave -- 6/9/2008 5:52:32 AM >

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