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RE: Laying our burdens down - 6/8/2008 7:10:54 AM

rubberpet

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Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

I know I can go to Mistress about anything, but I don't think it is Her place to deal with my problems or burdens. I have my responsibilities to Her and She may be responsible for me, but I refuse to burden Her with problems. That's just how I am...

***shrugs***

Thankyou rubberpet for your view and yours as well Shawn1066- i really appreciate the male perspective...it appears quite a bit different than the female submissives...and i am assuming your views are submissive because as "slave" would you not have an obligation to transparency with your owner?

Not quite, dawntreader. I identify myself as a slave, but I am also a man. I have always been very self-sufficient growing up and was taught to handle my problems alone. "Depend on no one to fix your problems for the results may not be to your liking" was a phrase I uttered to myself anytime I had a difficult challenge or problem. My lack of "dependence" on Mistress to fix or assume responsibility for my problems is certainly not because I don't think She could do a good job at making things right. She has things in Her life that are challenging that I've helped Her through, but I can't let go and let Her handle my issues more so out of pride and the way society heaps certain expectations and stereotypes on us like men are supposed to be the stronger sex and men aren't supposed to submit to women. Unfortunately, it is just the way I'm wired. One thing is for sure, though. Mistress knows there isn't anything She can throw at me that I can't handle. She knows She can depend on me for anything.

Just my two cents....

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

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RE: Laying our burdens down - 6/8/2008 8:30:10 AM

kyraofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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I read this thread yesterday morning and there are words bouncing around in my brain that I can't quite form into coherent thoughts yet...

Yes, I have given serious contemplation about my desire to submit to someone else's will and I am in a relationship with someone who more than meets my expectations. My desire stems from a need for structure. I was lucky enough to find someone who enjoys structure and uses my ability to create it and then holds me accountable for sticking to it.

At first I was getting stuck on the connotation of the word burden; I was seeing it as something negative and unwanted. But responsibility is one definition of burden. Responsibility is not always a negative thing. From that perspective, yes, I know which burdens to lay at his feet, which ones I need to carry and which ones I need to just let go and leave in the past or leave up to the winds of fate (or the divine).

However, knowing does not automatically translate into doing. I had to work on letting go of the ones that are to be laid at his feet. The biggest thing that helped me was when he told me, "you're responsibility is to do what I tell you, my responsibility is to take care of the big picture" (maybe not an exact quote, but close to it).

I know that when I start getting stressed about certain things, that I am trying to take care of the big picture and I am not focusing on what I have been told to do. Focusing on doing what I am told is very freeing, a lightening of the load.

None of this translates into me not having repsonsiblities though. My responsibilities now are just the ones he has given to me. What is very freeing though is that all the responsibilities/burdens of life are taken care of by the three of us. We just share them together. We each have our strengths to handle certain things and they mesh well so that very little falls through the cracks.

Interesting thread... I am sure my brain will be working on it for days. *g*

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Laying our burdens down - 6/8/2008 10:06:31 AM

dawntreader

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Joined: 11/23/2006
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Thanks rubberpet, i appreciate your explaination - it really is enlightening seeing the male perspective. i was raised to handle everything mayself - that problems and responsibilities are not to be shared...my post was never about not taking care of oneself but more like having someone to help bring perspective~

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Laying our burdens down - 6/8/2008 10:30:14 AM

dawntreader

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kyra,

it is always wonderful to get your perspective on a subject :-)
i do believe you understand the question. burden = responsibilities...and no, fact of life but not negative things generally. i believe we all go thru phases in our growth when burdens/responsibilities can become heavier and for me, right now in this phase, i need to take somethings off my shoulders...even if it is just for a little while. But this very state for me makes me vulnerable toward potential relationships and i think this is where i was going with my question~
Thanks for being so intuitive :-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

At first I was getting stuck on the connotation of the word burden; I was seeing it as something negative and unwanted. But responsibility is one definition of burden. Responsibility is not always a negative thing. From that perspective, yes, I know which burdens to lay at his feet, which ones I need to carry and which ones I need to just let go and leave in the past or leave up to the winds of fate (or the divine).

quote:

None of this translates into me not having repsonsiblities though. My responsibilities now are just the ones he has given to me. What is very freeing though is that all the responsibilities/burdens of life are taken care of by the three of us. We just share them together. We each have our strengths to handle certain things and they mesh well so that very little falls through the cracks.

Sharing...it is a very good thing. That is something i have not been able to do for a long time~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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Post #: 24