RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (Full Version)

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swtnsparkling -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (10/30/2005 8:14:15 AM)

Perhaps the sub had never seen her Dom in such a way. Yes she screwed up bad , no excuses for that. I'm just wondering if in a position like that and the Dom showed a side of himself the sub had never seen before and was afraid of it, isn't a safe word used in order to stay safe?perhaps she didn't feel safe at that moment.
Oh well it was just a little scenario i thought would be interesting to explore further.
any way if i was answering the question rather than asking it. IMO safe word should not be honored. She should know him well enough to not be afraid of his actions and sit down and take whatever punishment is due her. Be ready for the consequences of her actions.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (10/30/2005 9:02:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia
Was it? But in that case one could use the safeword to stop almost anything that is hard to handle, from having justified anger situation to being rejected and even from having relationship ended.
To me it just sounds ridicolous. If someone messes up punishment should be beared, not safeworded.

But what in the situation is the punishment? One person is losing their temper at another person.

That's not punishment. That's not even quite having a fight.

Are we saying a sub should just sit and take someone losing their temper because they were the ones to cause the anger? Someon elosing their temper really isn't something that you safeword over. If the person is becoming uncontrollably violent, you remove yourself from the situation until their temper is under enough control.

I fail to see what productive behavior changes will come out of someone losing their temper as a form of "punishment."



Kasia -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (10/30/2005 11:12:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
But what in the situation is the punishment? One person is losing their temper at another person.

That's not punishment. That's not even quite having a fight.

Are we saying a sub should just sit and take someone losing their temper because they were the ones to cause the anger? Someon elosing their temper really isn't something that you safeword over. If the person is becoming uncontrollably violent, you remove yourself from the situation until their temper is under enough control.

I fail to see what productive behavior changes will come out of someone losing their temper as a form of "punishment."


Of course, you are right.
I was assuming that the said fit of anger was just the indicator of what was coming afterwards - the serious punishment or the end of relationship. Sort of "beggining of the end", and that no safeword would get anyone from that.
The tantrum alone is not any form of punishment naturally, but it may tell you to some point how hard the punishment may be. With some persons.

I may be a bit touchy about the subject, for the cheating of any kind is my hardest limit - one may tell me or do almost anything but if he/she lies to me the relationship is over without any second thoughts, be it love/romance one or pure friendship. I just cannot stand being cheat on.



Oberonrex -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (10/30/2005 12:03:44 PM)


quote:


In my opinion, this isn't a safeword situation. It's not even a Dom/sub situation. It's one human being deliberately betraying another and then being shocked that that other is hurt and angry over the betrayal.

If it were my sub, the relationship would be over. Screw the safeword AND the tantrum. Out the freakin' door.


Hear, hear! No tantrum, no screaming, just them and anything that was theirs being put out the door. And maybe messages as needed to advise that my collar has been removed for cause...



KCMOLucky -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (10/30/2005 12:54:25 PM)

I honestly can't add anything to this except for to say that were a slave that I had trusted, nurtured, cared for, sheltered, and done my best to provide for taken that effort and betrayed me, I would phone a cab, give the driver $10, tell him to drive, and she could figure the rest out herself. Betrayal makes me sick; I think that's probably the lowest a person can be to another human.

To declare a safeword... whoa boy... You shove every ounce of respect I gave 'you' as a human being out the window for some petting, but you want me to honor 'you' after you come to me and confess your sins? Absolutely not. 'You' have have no right in my house to declare a safeword. Where was MY safeword when you were sucking that guys cock, hmm? (Not indicating that Dom/me need a safe word, but it certainly would have been out of MY limits in the relationship)



swtnsparkling -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (10/30/2005 1:11:29 PM)

quote:

To declare a safeword... whoa boy... You shove every ounce of respect I gave 'you' as a human being out the window for some petting, but you want me to honor 'you' after you come to me and confess your sins? Absolutely not. 'You' have have no right in my house to declare a safeword. Where was MY safeword when you were sucking that guys cock,


I agree, I used this same question/scenario about 7 years ago on another Message board. most of the replies then were, yes it should be honored, i was flabbergasted. One reason i thought i wanted to revisit it again on this board to see how or if the times had changed.



Soulhuntre -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (11/1/2005 1:12:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
A sub has crossed the line - choose to be with another without getting her Dom/mes permission. She goes out after work with the girls to have a drink or two, meets a man there, they go out to his car, kiss...pet..and engage in oral sex... She goes home feeling guitly and tells her Dom/me what she has done. The Dom/me gets very angry, hurt, yelling, throws a few things, push's over stuff.
Question: If the sub "safes" in the middle of this tantrum, should the safe word be honored?


From what you have said, and taking into account how little information there actually is there, I will make a few comments...


  • This doesn't appear to be a "scene", so I wouldn't consider the safeword an issue
  • Does she really think she gets to "safword" out of any consequences of her actions?
  • If she has any intention of remaining with him I would advise she shut up, aologize and ride out the storm



ExistentialSteel -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (11/1/2005 3:02:47 PM)

It sounds more like the Dom needs a safe word to use with her the way she screws over him.



jro2020 -> RE: Scene setup- Q on safe word (11/1/2005 11:41:01 PM)

The safeword is irrellevent. He should stop his tantrum before one of the (bloody stupid) neighbors calls the cops. He could then either kick her out, or accept her apollogy and discuss what her punishment will be. Possibly the safeword would help keep them both our jail. But as for reacting to it because it is the safeword, that's a bunch of malacky



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