It's funny... (Full Version)

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boundinside -> It's funny... (6/7/2008 2:25:30 PM)

I just deleted my original profile due to the fact that I had absolutely no success what so ever.  And whether that is my fault or its something else, I do not know.  But something made me decide to come back and give collarme another shot. I mean I love the submissve lifestyle, I just hate the tendencies of the submissive lifestyle.  I'll explain.  There are an overwhelming amount of males on here and simply not enough females.  It's just that simple.  And what happens is that the good gets mixed with the bad and it is hard to tell the difference between the two.  So from what I have noticed, most women, will simply assume that all are bad.  I guess you could say they just devide males in two categories; bad and worse.  And if for some reason there is one that stands out, they must be willing to share.  I wrote about this in a previous journal entry before.  But my point being if women would simply take more time and actually try to differentiate between the good and the bad (or bad and worse), I think there would be a lot more success stories.  I am honestly tired of seeing on every woman's profile that she is tired of fakes and loser's for whatever.  I want to start seeing stories of triumph and success.  But I seriously doubt that will happen anytime soon.



FullCircle -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 2:29:10 PM)

A fresh start requires a fresh start.
I see plenty of success stories terms such as “Happily owned.” etc. will that do as an alternative?



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 2:48:27 PM)

I tend to not respond to very many profiles on the other side.   Many times when somebody does respond and we get to talking, they are rather overwhelmed.

I am simply me at best, when I exchange emails with others. 

I think part of the problem, is that is difficult for some sub/slaves to devote enough to time to so many prospective Doms.  That is to be able to spend quality time getting to actually know somebody. 

It becomes a bit of a vicious circle they are caught up in, talking to x number of Doms.   Basically, some Doms that might be really great ones, end up falling through the cracks.

There's only so much time one can devote to emailing. IMing and etc... 

Again, it's a sort of vicious cycle that occurs, and one ends up feeling like they are chasing their own ass around looking for somebody.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 2:50:03 PM)

the only responses i get are of my pictures or my video...nothing from my actual profile...so most of those msgs simply get deleted.




missturbation -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 2:55:20 PM)

Don't forget the bad and worse women on here.
Of which i am one [:D]
I am even contemplating putting a big red flag on my profile, warning others away.



RedMagic1 -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 3:12:58 PM)

Read this.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1717756



fungasm -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 3:31:16 PM)

I have actually met some amazing people here.  I've found people who have become my friends in real life, and I've found a number of amazing humans who I can talk with online.   You get out of this what you put into it.  If you put up a profile and wait, you may be waiting a long time.  If you put up a single post and wait- you won't really get started either.

Engage.  Talk to those who delight you.  Search for what you want, and when find it, read their profile, send a message that actually has substance in it.  It starts as wicked conversations- but it does go lovely places.  Sometimes there are inconsiderate oafs, folks who won't read your profile, or folks who simply get amusement from ruining the day of someone else... ignor them and focus on what is bright and amazing here:  a group of people who are honest and open about their sexuality. 

Welcome Back!



LadyRainfire -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 3:43:46 PM)

Positive tends to attract positive. If you're always negative, then that's what you are going to see. If you want to hear about good experiences, try reading the Positive Experiences section of the boards. Success depends on the person. Personally, I joined CM just for the forums, not looking for anyone. Yet I met a wonderful man, my Daddy, and now am living with him and we plan to marry. All from joining CM for the forums. Neither of us were looking for someone.

So maybe just come onboard again for the info, fun and good people around here. Who knows who you'll meet? [:)]



JoePNY707 -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 3:47:54 PM)

Hi Bound!

Welcome back. As someone who just joined for the first time, I'm finding that chatting with some of the nice people here, and making new friends is one of the BEST aspects of this forum. I'd focus on that....and if someone you then meet--and becomes friends with--becomes something more, then you can write your OWN success story!
(If it turns out to be a really BIG success, you can send me some wedding cake...) ;)



MidMichCowboy -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 4:27:37 PM)

My humble opinion (a damn old cowboy and barbarian), you have to put yourself out there. Show who you are and what you think. Tell people what you want and need. Ask others what they want and need to be happy. Exchange ideas. Joke, laugh and cry with people. Just because we are in a more kinky style of life, we still have many of the same wants and needs (I'm going to be damned for saying that we share things with the Vanilla world) that all people have. There will be those who slam you or try to con you. Welcome to life. But if you put enough of yourself out there, you can at least make some good friends. Sex, love, passion, pleasure ... these are not guaranteed to anyone. Laugh with us at the posers and cock roosters, the cons and the players. Share and read what others are sharing. Will you find that ultimate relationship? Who knows, the odds are probably against it. But you will have no chance if you don't take one.



persephonee -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 4:56:35 PM)

i have met the best people here. The forums are full of locals that i have had the great pleasure of meeting and befriending and full of people from far and wide that keep me company when im online. It is what it is. There are good and bad things in everything we do. If you dont see her now, or if she cant see you for all the obstacles in her way, wait it out...her eyes will clear or someone will keel over and youll be in her eye line. After all, if shes any good at all, shes worth the wait...right?



Prinsexx -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 5:05:01 PM)

I don't have any such problems. Collarme is one of my spiritual homes.
(Don't knock it: we have no more evidence that Heaven is not on-line [:D] )



Griswold -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 7:56:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

I just deleted my original profile due to the fact that I had absolutely no success what so ever.  And whether that is my fault or its something else, I do not know.  But something made me decide to come back and give collarme another shot. I mean I love the submissve lifestyle, I just hate the tendencies of the submissive lifestyle.  I'll explain.  There are an overwhelming amount of males on here and simply not enough females.  It's just that simple.  And what happens is that the good gets mixed with the bad and it is hard to tell the difference between the two.  So from what I have noticed, most women, will simply assume that all are bad.  I guess you could say they just devide males in two categories; bad and worse.  And if for some reason there is one that stands out, they must be willing to share.  I wrote about this in a previous journal entry before.  But my point being if women would simply take more time and actually try to differentiate between the good and the bad (or bad and worse), I think there would be a lot more success stories.  I am honestly tired of seeing on every woman's profile that she is tired of fakes and loser's for whatever.  I want to start seeing stories of triumph and success.  But I seriously doubt that will happen anytime soon.


I think that there are far too many men in the world, period.

Not that I have anything against men...wonderful beasts that we are....

I just think...if there were fewer of you (note; I didn't say "us") I'd have a much better chance of achieving my goal...that being, having a minimum of a dozen naked, nubile, slutty women all dancing around the place from the minute I get home...daily.

Dripping with anticipation ... for sex.

I could live with that.

Or one....1 or 12....and anything inbetween...I'd be good with that.

(12 would be preferable however).



kallisto -> RE: It's funny... (6/7/2008 8:06:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

Positive tends to attract positive. If you're always negative, then that's what you are going to see.


Exactly.  



SailingBum -> RE: It's funny... (6/8/2008 1:29:15 AM)

I read the posts for the entertainment value.  I don't take bdsm or life all that serious.  No one is getting out alive.

BadOne



SnowRanger -> RE: It's funny... (6/10/2008 9:25:02 PM)

Hello A/all!

    I feel compelled to share my experience in the short time I've been on CM.  I reconnected with a dominatrix who is an old friend on day one.   We aren't going to play together (not now any way) but we did get together for a nice face to face chat.  I have had two telephone interviews and I have been invited to two seperate Munch groups.
I have also had two other face to face chats.  One with a lovely Lady who is (at least for now) maddeningly sporatic in her communication.
People do have lives outside of this; therefore, I try to be patient.  The other Lady I met is new to my area as I am new to the scene.  I am awaiting her decision as to whether she will take me on as a trainee now.

    I should also point out that I find the message board to be a great place to (for lack of a better word) mingle.  I have had wonderful exchanges with some great Dommes.  I don't expect to meet any of these Ladies but I have learned much and been challenged to think about the scene, what I desire from it, and, what I think my place in it should be.

    RedMagic put up a link to a great chat thread.  If and when I decide to redo my profile I plan to read it again.  A few years back I had a whirlwind...  No it was a Firewhirl...  romance with a wonderful woman who was going through some major life changes.  We met online through a personals site.  She said that what won her over was that my post was positive and humorous.

   Stay positive Boundinside.  I have the same frustrations that you do.  How you react to them is (I think) the real difference between success and failure.

Respectfully,  Mike
SnowRanger



pinksugarsub -> RE: It's funny... (6/10/2008 9:38:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

I just deleted my original profile due to the fact that I had absolutely no success what so ever.  And whether that is my fault or its something else, I do not know.  But something made me decide to come back and give collarme another shot. I mean I love the submissve lifestyle, I just hate the tendencies of the submissive lifestyle.  I'll explain.  There are an overwhelming amount of males on here and simply not enough females.  It's just that simple.  And what happens is that the good gets mixed with the bad and it is hard to tell the difference between the two.  So from what I have noticed, most women, will simply assume that all are bad.  I guess you could say they just devide males in two categories; bad and worse.  And if for some reason there is one that stands out, they must be willing to share.  I wrote about this in a previous journal entry before.  But my point being if women would simply take more time and actually try to differentiate between the good and the bad (or bad and worse), I think there would be a lot more success stories.  I am honestly tired of seeing on every woman's profile that she is tired of fakes and loser's for whatever.  I want to start seeing stories of triumph and success.  But I seriously doubt that will happen anytime soon.


i think M/most P/pl take 'breaks' from CM and the D/s scene in general from time to time.  W/we all have O/our own set of frustrations and bad experiences. 
 
pinksugarsub



figment -> RE: It's funny... (6/10/2008 11:55:01 PM)

Interesting post.  I dont blame the car if I drive badly, so am really curious as to how you can blame the internet for not providing you with your ultimate goal?

If you go to a bar and none of the girls you approach respond to you, do you blame the environment?

Just interested, this isnt a personal attack,

kind regards,
figment



EvilGeoff -> RE: It's funny... (6/11/2008 12:29:02 AM)

Hmmmm....  How to not be negative?  If you want to attract attention you have to put yourself out there on your best behavior.  Want to be noticed?  Be civil and courteous in the face of incivility.  Speak the truth of your own heart and path, and with grace allow others the freedom to follow their own paths.  Initiate contacts respectfully regardless of your orientaion or the orientation of the person you are contacting.  If you are contacting someone in a relationship, do their partner the courtesy of contacting them as well.

Write in complete sentences, don't use "netspeak".  For pity's sake know the difference between being a Dominant and a "dominate" [sic].  If you must send a picture, send your FACE, not your pecker.  READ her profile.  Comment on her interests.  ESPECIALLY on one or two you might share with her. If she has a pic on her profile, beyond saying it's lovely or interesting, leave it be.  She wants to know what sets YOU above and beyond the rest, especially why should she give you a chance when there are so many others wanting the same thing.  Sending generic "I want to serve you ma'am" messages or "Please let this lowly worm please you ma'am" isn't going to cut it with the real folks.

Hope that helps!
- Geoff



Prinsexx -> RE: It's funny... (6/11/2008 1:16:32 AM)

My experience on collarme is absolutely positive. I rarely search and usaully at least once a day answer mail or check to see who has been viewing me.
There were some false starts when I first joined and there was also a time when I created another profile when I had a master.
I always bear in mind that there is a real human being typing every letter of every word that appears in a mail or on the forums here. It's far too easy to become desensitized to the reality behind the screen on internet communication.
Other people have good days as well as bad; they have good seasons as well as bad and above all everyone has crises in their lives. It may appear that for some life is just one party deal but that's great for them. I take delight in the 'happily owned' profiles and the 'not looking' freinds who also mail me. For them life is good and so it should be.
There are many who have met and created powerful experiences here. We are all bound (metaphorically speaking) by our love of bdsm regardless of our level of experience, our gender, our age, race, creed or colour.
If your profile isn't working then change it. Change it daily. You yourself are changing daily so I guess a profie needs to reflect that.
Welcome back. Have hun.



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