Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 3:38:38 PM)


...Not necessarily stereotypical forms of power (people in high positions at work, corporate CEOs, lawyers, cops, whatever), but other kinds of power - someone who has mastered a skill (is a black belt, for example) or has extreme self confidence in some ability that makes them clearly top of their game?

I never used to be this way - for me, my femdom lust was generally directed at angst, sensuality, vulnerability.  But as I get older, I find that men in power (see above for examples - again, not necessarily powerful POSITIONS related to job) really get my juices flowing.

Akasha



DominantJenny -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 3:47:46 PM)

Capability is sexy. I love watching my guy do something and do it well, no matter what it is. It makes his submission to me that much more valuable.



MsIncontrol -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 3:52:00 PM)

My primary "kink" is the power exchange.  I need for someone to be powerful in order for me to want to dominate them.  The more power they have...the bigger turn on for me.  I agree, it is not just about professional success.  For me, even just sheer brute is enough.  My husband is 6'4", 200 lbs...but yet he kneels to little me...at just barely 5'0 tall.  I love the contrast of that.  Also, while he actually has quite a blue collar type of profession he has a ton of personal power...and to me it is soo sooo soooo soooo attractive.  There are a lot of attorneys, doctors, and CEO's who have professional power and no personal power and I have no desire to own any of them. :-)

Thanks for the great topic as usual.



LotusSong -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 4:23:45 PM)

For me, it's not power.  For me to take someone as my slave, I have to be proud of them and that could be a myriad of things.  Money and position are the least of what would impress me. They have to have a talent of some kind.



luvnchains -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 5:53:25 PM)

 
I wouldn't say I am attracted to men in power, as much as I am attracted to men that are comfortable with who they are, they are not doormats for the general public to walk on.  It means so much to me to have a man be submissive to me, because that is how he feels  when he is around me, rather than some one who is subbmissive all the time or to anyone with a backbone.



MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 7:38:40 PM)

Hmmm ... what gets me is competence, a certain amount of self-mastery, emotional intelligence and ethics.    They don't have to be superlative in those categories to garner my attention -- though I think those are qualities that are not often found.

So, no, "top of their game" doesn't resonate for me.  I'm not looking for a man with "power over," I'm looking for a person with "power within."

Mss



aidan -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 8:44:34 PM)

I can't speak perfectly for Mistress, of course, but I think there's an element to this in her attraction to me.

I've got pretty big brains and muscles, and I'm adept at using them. I may not command vast legions of employees or flanks of soldiers (yet..."Rule Aidania!"), but in my way I am powerful.

But I choose to submit to her, to make my strength and sources of power her's. At the same time, I still have that vulnerability and "angst", which I suppose is a good term. I'm sometimes conflicted and wary and even put-off by the use of my abilities and talents. And I think she likes that too. The whole wounded hero thing.

I know I like her for it. She recognizes my ability and my strength, even though it's not neccesarily grandiose or showy, like being a CEO or some-such. She wouldn't go for that kinda thing anyway. I'm happy for that. ^__^



MsMillgrove -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 9:44:29 PM)

I am older. In my  life I interacted with  men of power frequently...because I was a woman who was a high achiever-- a 'first woman' who did this and that.  Men of power ... hold no interest to me because I saw them watch me flick my long hair, glance at their butts, smile. I could own them with nothing more than a smile.
They are only men.
Same with a male who can claim a mastery of a black belt or any other honed talent/skill.
A man with sensitivity, who listens, who understands, who makes me laugh.
These are the ones who catch my attention and maybe my heart.



Vendaval -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 10:08:48 PM)

If a slave you are describing wanted to be humiliated that would work well.  In general though, the Alpha Male types are of little interest to me.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 10:09:29 PM)

I am attracted to men who are accomplished, who are confident, who have skills....  and that could be someone blue collar, or with a PhD.  Glamour jobs do not interest me--I have been involved in the business world long enough to know that the corner office does not equate to a big brain, or a big heart, and those are requirements for me.



littlesarbonn -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/7/2008 11:47:54 PM)

This has always been a problem for me because I'm not attracted to power (either being in it or responding to it). Yes, I'm submissive, and I'm attracted to dominant women, but that doesn't mean it has anything to do with being attracted to "powerful" people.

To be honest, I really abhor actual power, in that I find the people who have it are rarely deserving of it, yet find they often believe they are overly deserving of it, and expect respect based on position rather than capabilities. I've spent most of my life improving my various capabilities but rarely have I ever desired to use any of it to gain a position of power, and every time I've found myself in a situation where that might start happening, I tend to avoid wanting to complete the process. My Ph.D. research was essentially the absence of power dynamics, while my latest MA degree (in another field) explores the mindset of people who desire power over merit.



aidan -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 12:13:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am attracted to men who are accomplished, who are confident, who have skills...


Bo staff skills, hacking skills, nunchuck skills...



thetammyjo -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 8:08:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


...Not necessarily stereotypical forms of power (people in high positions at work, corporate CEOs, lawyers, cops, whatever), but other kinds of power - someone who has mastered a skill (is a black belt, for example) or has extreme self confidence in some ability that makes them clearly top of their game?

I never used to be this way - for me, my femdom lust was generally directed at angst, sensuality, vulnerability. But as I get older, I find that men in power (see above for examples - again, not necessarily powerful POSITIONS related to job) really get my juices flowing.

Akasha



Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer: Getting authority over someone has little value to me unless what they offer is innately valuable. Skill, knowledge, ability especially those I don't have myself are very attractive because then with ownership comes acquiring those things myself just simply through the other person. Owning a master chef is somewhat akin to becoming a master chef for example.



pinnipedster -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 5:31:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncontrol

My primary "kink" is the power exchange.  I need for someone to be powerful in order for me to want to dominate them.  The more power they have...the bigger turn on for me.  I agree, it is not just about professional success.  For me, even just sheer brute is enough.  My husband is 6'4", 200 lbs...but yet he kneels to little me...at just barely 5'0 tall.  I love the contrast of that. 


As a guy who is 6'4" and well over 200 pounds ;)....I have to say that the idea of being dominated by a very small woman is a definite turn on for exactly that reason of contrast.   It would really symbolize that her power over me is a matter of mind/will, rather than a matter of force.

As it happns, the last two ladies I have had any substantial contact with as a sub have both been around 6' tall, so obviously it's not something I would insist on. :)  (And, as a crossdresser, there's an advantage to being around women closer to your own size....)



Griswold -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 5:32:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncontrol

My primary "kink" is the power exchange.  I need for someone to be powerful in order for me to want to dominate them.  The more power they have...the bigger turn on for me.  I agree, it is not just about professional success.  For me, even just sheer brute is enough.  My husband is 6'4", 200 lbs...but yet he kneels to little me...at just barely 5'0 tall.  I love the contrast of that.  Also, while he actually has quite a blue collar type of profession he has a ton of personal power...and to me it is soo sooo soooo soooo attractive.  There are a lot of attorneys, doctors, and CEO's who have professional power and no personal power and I have no desire to own any of them. :-)

Thanks for the great topic as usual.


Niiiiiice.



Griswold -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 5:35:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

For me, it's not power.  For me to take someone as my slave, I have to be proud of them and that could be a myriad of things.  Money and position are the least of what would impress me. They have to have a talent of some kind.


On that whole "talent" thing...a lot of women have been impressed that I can match brown socks with darker colored socks.

(It's a completely natural gift...even I don't know how I do it sometimes).



LotusSong -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 7:03:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

For me, it's not power.  For me to take someone as my slave, I have to be proud of them and that could be a myriad of things.  Money and position are the least of what would impress me. They have to have a talent of some kind.


On that whole "talent" thing...a lot of women have been impressed that I can match brown socks with darker colored socks.

(It's a completely natural gift...even I don't know how I do it sometimes).



I'm thinking more along the lines  of you being able to lick your eyebrows [:D]



HardToTame -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 7:29:15 PM)

I think I wanna get to know you ladies a bit more [:D] you seem like my kinda girls [:D]


But as you can tell I have no skills in anything nor do I wield any power.     


Oh well.  I'm off to find a woman who likes men they can pitty [:D] nah I'm kidding.  Men in power are too fast to fall from glory.   Skill isn't found in having power, but power is found in having skill.  ...  Wheres nunchucks guy I feel like playing shaolin monks now [:D] 



MissLily -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 7:39:32 PM)

Hmm... Someone with a skill, especially martial arts will start My juices flowing, but what will really really get Me going is the insecurity I associate with an intellectual. I really really like tall skinny geeks and I really have to hold Myself back with both hands not just go up to them and start embarassing them in public by talking dirty to them and proposing all sorts of naughty things.....

I know, I know, I'm bad...
Miss Lily



pinnipedster -> RE: Femdoms: are you more attracted to men in power? (6/8/2008 7:42:55 PM)

quote:

I never used to be this way - for me, my femdom lust was generally directed at angst, sensuality, vulnerability.


Ah, if only I had known you then..... ah well. :)



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