Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant

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hejira92 -> Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 8:51:30 AM)
I have no idea where to put this, but I feel I'm being randomly stupid... so here goes. I knew he's going into the Marines. Hell, I signed the papers. But yesterday, when he came home and told me the actual date he's leaving for boot camp (October 6th), I broke down and started sobbing right in front of him. And I can't stop. It was bad enough when he almost died from peritonitis in April, and then he graduated high school in May and now, he's just so damn excited about joining the Marines and eventually becoming an officer. I don't know where this kid came from! I worked for Witness for Peace in Central America in the 80's, for god's sake! I know, I know, like I told the recruiter, I have to help him follow his dream for himself, not mine. But it's just so damn.... I don't know. And all my friends and family keep asking me these intrusive questions in 'concerned' tones about how do I feel about my son going into the military in these times. LIKE I DIDN'T REALISE WE ARE IN A STUPID WAR ! And like I need to air my most private fears for their enjoyment. The stupid kid is a born leader. It's obvious in everything he does. It's even obvious to the Marines he has been working with. He is so goddamn happy. And I can't stop crying. Sorry for the rant. Thank you for wasting your time reading this.

cjan -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:08:42 AM)
May your son be safe, hejira. I admire you for supporting him , since, from what you say, he seems mature for his age, despite your own wishes as to what path he should take.

GreedyTop -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:09:44 AM)
hugs

MrSpectacular -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:11:57 AM)
It is a stupid war - but it sounds like you raised a kid who has his own mind - which is kudos to you. We can only pray for his safety and all of the others who are fighting overseas. N

servantforuse -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:14:09 AM)
I think that you should be very proud of your son.A lot of us don't think that we are fighting a stupid war. It is a necessary war to fight the muslim extremists and terrorists that do threatin our Country. Your son will be fine.

mnottertail -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:14:43 AM)
Well, contrary to any feelings, in fact most of the soldiers do not die in boot. Afterwards is an entirely different story, and it is my experience that a marine dying is about like a navy guy dying except they may say semper fi. But look, October, add 4 months to that for boot and mos, and 30 day leave, thats past 1st quarter next year, he will probably only get as far as ncoic latrine in lejune. Don't sweat it. Ron

purepleasure -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:16:31 AM)
You have every right to feel the way you do. As for the people asking the uncomfortable questions, all you need to say is, " I am proud of my son and that he is following his dream to protect our nation and innocent people worldwide. How do I feel? Proud! Semper Fi!", even though inside you are scared witless. From your post, it seems like you have been one heck of a mother and teacher. Save your tears for when you are happy and relieved beyond belief for when he returns home safe and sound... and that this war is over.

pinksugarsub -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:24:46 AM)
hejira, i went through my own mini-hell when my UM reached age 18 and became an adult. Your hell is so much worse than mine was -- your UM will be in real physical danger. i am so sorry for the pain you are in -- only a parent can even imagine how it feels. For me, as time passed and my UM continued to mature, the hellishness diminished. Now, i find i have a lot to be grateful for. After UM hell, there is s'times UM heaven, it seems. i hope your UM will be safe and successful in the military, and that you wil find a measure of peace. i will keep both of you in my prayers. pinksugarsub

hejira92 -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:33:06 AM)
Thank you so much for the perspectives. I come here to laugh and share thoughts on one aspect of my life, but whenever I have "overflowed" into the other areas, I have found acceptance and friendship. I really appreciate all the support and understanding (but I do feel a bit foolish and overly emotional). (Sarcastic aside: Since I'm one of those "glorifying my Dom" posters, I have to have challenges in some areas of my life! [;)])

windchymes -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:38:38 AM)
I'm really proud of him for his courage and of you for raising an obviously wonderful young man. Ron has a really valid point. Add to that Officer's School in Quantico, VA at least another six months, and then probably more training and schooling.....he most likely will never see the front line. If he makes a career out of it, he'll be set financially for life. Try not to cry too hard, except for the tears of pride. I know first-hand how hard it is to realize your little boy is a man now, I have two men that used to be my little boys. [:)] When you see him marching at graduation, you're going to be so proud of him.

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 9:49:03 AM)
boot camp? woohoo... imagine a camp for boots.... learn how to worship them... learn how to clean them... learn how to lick them... learn all the different fabric's boots are made of. .. learn how to kick ass with them... learn the advantages of steel toe boots... learn how to cope with your addiction to buying boots... learn how to wear 2",3",4",5",6"etc etc... heeled boots... hmm....what an idea...i should become a pro booter...

everhope -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 10:24:17 AM)
as a mother of a son, one of the hardest things to do is letting them go and mature into their manhood. god it hurts to the point of actual physical heart pain. i have felt it...i didn't like it. i went through something similiar, hejira. my pain was lessened when a friend shared with me this. we give birth to our children. it is our duty to teach them everything we know for them to survive and thrive in this world. we must remember that they are their own person and have their own destiny to fulfill. at a certain point and it does start around 18 ..it is important to shift gears and see them not only as our beloved children, but as a person unto their own who must follow their own destiny. hejira, if you are able to find comfort in knowing you are not alone in your pain other mothers feel, have felt and will continue to feel as long we as give birth to men. as a women who has 2 grown sons i embrace you and so understand the pain you feel today. hugs

SinLee -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 10:29:18 AM)
well since i have no kids and no advice, all i can say is big huggles we do what we think is right in life, he is, as you did... trust in him, you know by now you've taught him well.

Level -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 10:32:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hejira92 I have no idea where to put this, but I feel I'm being randomly stupid... so here goes. I knew he's going into the Marines. Hell, I signed the papers. But yesterday, when he came home and told me the actual date he's leaving for boot camp (October 6th), I broke down and started sobbing right in front of him. And I can't stop. It was bad enough when he almost died from peritonitis in April, and then he graduated high school in May and now, he's just so damn excited about joining the Marines and eventually becoming an officer. I don't know where this kid came from! I worked for Witness for Peace in Central America in the 80's, for god's sake! I know, I know, like I told the recruiter, I have to help him follow his dream for himself, not mine. But it's just so damn.... I don't know. And all my friends and family keep asking me these intrusive questions in 'concerned' tones about how do I feel about my son going into the military in these times. LIKE I DIDN'T REALISE WE ARE IN A STUPID WAR ! And like I need to air my most private fears for their enjoyment. The stupid kid is a born leader. It's obvious in everything he does. It's even obvious to the Marines he has been working with. He is so goddamn happy. And I can't stop crying. Sorry for the rant. Thank you for wasting your time reading this. You're a good and decent person, so, we aren't "wasting" our time. What you feel is absolutely normal; needing to "get it out" is just as normal, and nothing to be embarrased about.

sirsholly -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 11:22:33 AM)
You son knows what he wants and has the self-esteem to chase his dream. This is a sign that he was raised by a good mom. Prayers for his safety and your peace of mind.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 12:56:23 PM)
Wasting our time? Are you kidding?? You are doing an amazing thing. You are allowing our son to be who he is and come into his own, rather than hanging onto him and holding him back for your own peace of mind. This ia a brave feat, and somewhere in that fear and angst you are feeling, you should be proud, too. Proud that you raised someone who knows what he wants to do, proud that you have allowed him that, even though it scares the hell out of you, and proud that you are using the outlets available to you to "rant" about it! And Ron makes a great point, as usual. One step at a time here. He'll deal with boot camp, and to fear the unknown after that is simply going to tax your energy (when you should be spending it glorifying your dom!!) [:D]

Daddysredhead -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 1:37:39 PM)
Dearest hejira, You have never wasted one minute of our time, sweet lady. I come from a long line of service people, and you should be very proud of your son, and kind to yourself. My grandfather was in WWI, my dad and uncle in WWII, another uncle in Korea, two brothers in Vietnam, a niece and nephew in Desert Storm, and the niece has made the Army a career. What a legacy these people have left, not only in my family, but for other Americans. It sounds like you have raised a wonderful young man. Be proud, mama, you're perfectly normal and he's perfectly wonderful. Prayers go to you both. ~ DRH

hejira92 -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 4:00:44 PM)
I am very proud of him and his choices. It's just the emotional realization of the fact of my oldest leaving home and going off to a life totally alien to me (I come from a long line of pacifists and left wing jewish intellectuals- the two often go hand in hand). And not only will I worry about him (but I really know he can handle himself in any situation), but I will miss my "arrogant ahole" terribly. Yes, I lovingly call him that. (quick story from April- He's lying in ICU, tubes and pict lines everywhere- including a catheter, just off the ventilator and I'm trying to explain to the nurse the situation and how worried I am. I tell her- 'I just want my arrogant ahole back.' He looks up and says, "They can't put a tube in my arrogance.")

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 4:06:23 PM)
I know exactly what you are going through, My Angel (while not my flesh and blood, he might as well be) is looking into joining the Army. I am proud beyond belief of what he is doing, and what he will represent. I am also scared to death that I will get "that" call one of these days. Its the scariest thing in the world, becasue you know you cant stand in their way. We'll add you to the list of prayers, to keep your boy safe while he is gone. DV

stormgirl -> RE: Boot Camp date for UM, a mother's rant (6/8/2008 4:46:38 PM)
kids are a marvel. i thought i was paying attention and suddenly there was this Adult, getting married . . . i miss him, and i am so happy for him (and i feel a bit smug about raising such a good person). dont worry about whether you are being foolish or overly emotional.

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