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NewKnotTyer -> My ongoing struggles and attempts at control (6/8/2008 10:23:07 AM)
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So after my last post I did some thinking and decided against any 12 step programs, since they usually involve some manner of religious involvement. If I had money, or insurance, Id go to a specialist; thats definitely an avenue I want to pursue in the future. Cutting to the chase, Ive decided to accept and embrace my "hypersexuality" but collar it with control and leash it with restraint. Theres nothing wrong with good old fashioned hedonism, and sex isnt dirty or wrong. I take too much joy from my intense pasison for women, maybe its some sort of goddess complex or female worship, but it is what it is. So heres what happened: New job, getting trained by a decently cute girl with two things going for her. 1. The line up her neck to where her ear starts and the wispy black hair is was, in my mind, begging to be licked, kissed, bit, sucked. I was transfixed. It made an ordinary cute girl sexy as hell. 2. Her BREATH. Yes, her breath. It wasnt minty fresh but it was hers none the less, heady and strong, and I found myself standing closer to her so I could smell it. I was visibly aroused (albeit slightly) by her breath alone. Id be watching her neck and smelling her breath, not hearing a word she said.
Then it happened.
I was standing near the bar when I smelled something. Something unmistakable.
I smelled one of the waitresses "natural perfume" and my vision literally swam and chills ran down my arms and back straight to my already interested loins. That was it. I was worthless the rest of the night, my mind was racing through the intricacies many, many wonderful fantasies; and that night was full of deliciously perverse and violent dreams that had me aching come morning. It was about this time that I realized that guy or not, this isnt what most would consider normal.
So again I ask, Are any of you fine people in the same wicked boat as I? I swear when I finally meet my match Im apt to propose on the spot.
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