RE: What Really Counts (Full Version)

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pinkpleasures -> RE: What Really Counts (10/31/2005 8:37:44 AM)

quote:

There is No need to email to ask anything.
i am here reading the posts like everyone else. i read a post in reply to me and my comment was "hmm interesting" and nothing more-
i don't appreciate and it was wrong for anyone to then post and say i am a gossip lover or judging anyone. ( which is gone now btw) b/c i had a 2 word reply.
frankly i don't give a hoot- i dont know any of you. all i can say if you don't want comments then don't put it out there in the 1st place.
are we all cool with this now?

Have a sparkling day

swtsparkling


swtsparkling, if you are referring to me; may i please apologise? If not, you should know that the system evidentially puts in "in reply to" and if you have not chosen someone, it chooses the person above you; i think. So it may have been inadvertent that someone "replied" to you. Hope this helps.

pinkpleasures



swtnsparkling -> RE: What Really Counts (10/31/2005 4:07:34 PM)

Yes pink i was replying to you as Your "want to email" comment was directed to me. As for the other post about me being a gossip lover that was No inadvertent reply. i know exactly who did it.
Just because some one deletes there post, in no way means, others didn't see it, what was written or who it was directed at before they clicked that button.
someone doesn't want some thing known, don't post it and for gods sake don't try and put me as the gossip loving judging bad guy simply b/c i replied to it. The initial problem POST was not put there by me, i was merely a responder.
in closing, no need to apologize to me for anything, just as i will not apologize to anyone i did nothing wrong.

Have a great tomorrow.



OscarHargraves -> RE: What Really Counts (11/1/2005 9:10:09 AM)

When I first meet a Sub I tend to treat it just like meeting a Vanilla date. I want to meet in public. I want to see how she dresses, how she handles herself and how she speaks. Then I want to know if she can really communicate with me. Does she express herself and her desires well? Can she articulate her needs?

I also have some very basic things that I need to know. Is she honest? Does she have good standards of conduct that match mine? Can I trust her? Is she interesting to be with? Is she really someone that I want to spend time with? Does she have the right attitude to be a good Sub?



nenakajira -> RE: What Really Counts (11/1/2005 10:42:56 AM)

heya pink,

When I'm scanning profiles I tend to look at their interests section. If there is anything on there that doesn't fit with the household I live in.. well.. thats the end of that.

After that, however, it's all about who the person is.. not what they are in bed. What religion are they? What are their politics? Do they like sushi? (I so need a sushi partner.. lol) What movies do they like? ect.. ect...

I'm looking for someone I can relate to. Sex is a secondary.. but.. we dont do the kink thing so maybe that makes it easier??

-nena{R}



jro2020 -> RE: What Really Counts (11/7/2005 11:27:38 PM)

I think since i am most interested in making friends that I am open to learn about the other person from which ever way they aproach me. I mean if someone wants to talk about my kinks then i'll ask about theirs, and then branch out into the stuff i am more interested in, like who they are as a person.



wipmebeetme100 -> RE: What Really Counts (11/8/2005 12:39:18 AM)

quote:

My question is: how do You (you) sort through profiles/emails and decide whom to respond to and whom to distance yourself from?


I try to respond to all of the e-mails that i receive, if nothing more than to thank them for their message to me. How do i determine who i am interested in? Well, i am not looking for a husband, or even a long term relationship. I have a profile on Collar me because i am looking for kink....So that is what i am going to be looking for. Do they share my passion for humiliation and degradation play? Do they understand my love of watersports? How many canes do they have? Will they enjoy leaving marks...as much or more than i enjoy receiving them? Is this someone who can and will push my envelope? A picture is not important....all that tells me is how someone appears, not who or what someone is.

Peace,
cathy



themischievous1 -> RE: What Really Counts (11/8/2005 11:13:06 PM)

When in seeking mode, I scrutinize profiles of those who write something of depth about themselves. I am interested in the mind of the individual primarily. Particularly in reference to wiitwd, I value power exchange. Total power exchange, so that means the person must be ethical, honest, stable, trustworthy, and available - meaning present for a relationship; utilizing a spiritual belief system and foundation is also extremely important. Chemistry is essential and I can usually feel intense chemistry quickly.

After all of this, I look at appearance, preferring larger, "teddy bear" types as a rule, but good chemistry is unpredicatable. Shared kink/BDSM activities are the last thing I look at because I've only been interested in long term, meaningful relationships thus far and one doesn't live their relationship in the bedroom. I figure if there's a strong connection our kinks will probably match up. I'm drawn to a mentor, guide, daddy/father figure-type who I admire, respect, and look up to.

Unfortunately, even if the person has all of the above characteristics, if he is not a "family man" capable of enjoying being a parent, he won't be for me. I have a six year old daughter and she's numero uno in my life. If he doesn't begin to think so fairly quickly on, he's not for me. If he doesn't dote on her like I do, he's not for me. I haven't been just looking for a Dom though - I want the whole package-- marriage, permanent TPE collar, a decent role model and stepfather for my child, and someone who will lead me to be the best I can be for our family and him. Tall order to fill to say the least..but I always did enjoy reaching for the brass ring ;)



cltcdrd -> RE: What Really Counts (11/9/2005 5:12:09 AM)

I look for those who take the time to say more than just "hello, let's chat" A simple e-mail that says "Good morning, how are you today" is going to get my attention alot faster than one that says "What are you into".
I try to treat the online world the same as I would RL. I sure would not approach someone on the street in such a blantantly rude manner; nor would I respond to an e-mail that is rude in such a way.



MistressYlwa -> RE: What Really Counts (11/9/2005 6:21:54 AM)

Emails are a big part of choice for me. If they have poor spelling, lousy grammar, etc. then I chose not to respond. I do want to be able to hold a conversation with the one I choose. To clarify, I will use the term relationship, but it is not to be confused with a romantic situation.

I don't need a Robert Redford or Paul Newman type. But they should be appealing to me. Why I request a photo in my profile. No photo and I have to wonder why. Have had wonderful relationships with guys that some would feel were not attractive, but they have so much more to offer. Besides, they appeal to me.

Fianlly, interests are everything. If we don't share them, then what could we expect together? If they have no profile, then what do they want?

What I use to base a response to email on.

Mistress Ylwa


You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan



IronBear -> RE: What Really Counts (11/9/2005 6:35:23 AM)

I’ll do general searches and then refine the search until I have a list of people I’ll contact. I’ll then read their profiles and probably reduce the list further. Usually I’ll make the contact brief as much as a complement about their profile and a few other things. Depending on their reply, I’ll take the matter further with possibly a regular communications, which could lead to us using conventional emails and/or YM. By this time, I’m using my gut feelings about people as well as a couple of other methods I use to short list people. If things are working out and depending how far they live from me, I’ll suggest a meeting for coffee at a good coffee house where I can take Sasha. They have to pass muster by my wife Lady Neets and the Sasha Test. If it all works out then we may be cooking with gas.



lonewolf05 -> RE: What Really Counts (11/9/2005 8:26:37 AM)

quote:

My question is: how do You (you) sort through profiles/emails and decide whom to respond to and whom to distance yourself from?

====

how?/
welllllllllllllll==========grand daddy told me to step up to the mirror......take a long hard look.......and if you don't like what you see.....
do something about it.
so my advice is........."follow your heart,....somewhere, over the rainbow..."

BE YOURSELF--------

wolf



slavejali -> RE: What Really Counts (11/10/2005 5:29:13 AM)

When i came online, i wasnt looking for a partner...however...as things happened..i did end up meeting my future Master and husband online..maybe cuz i wasnt looking i could be more relaxed with who i was chatting with and had no expectations of him...the first thing that attracted me to him was his sense of humor..we just talked about our experiences in the past..our hopes and dreams..as things went along..other stuff did become important to me...things like..was he married? did anyone know him real life? what was his integrity like? did his life experiences match mine? were his goals for the future compatable with mine? was he being honest? His style of Dominance also became important..i started to take notice of how he viewed a Master slave relationship..seeing if it was compatable with me..i started taking real notice of what experience he had in play...and what he had to back that up to prove what he was saying was true...
Guess im basically saying...its always a progression to get to know someone..i dont think you can really tell what a persons like from initial interactions..what if you spoke to someone who had a hard day and just wanted to fuck around that night..doesnt mean to say he is an idiot everday *grin*..or someone talking about honor and trust all the time...doesnt mean to say they actually walk their talk...
so basically to answer the topic question..i dont really know how to work out who would be worth responding or not lol..good luck pink pleasures~ a wonderful Master found me online...i hope the same happens for you~



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