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Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 4:51:50 PM

Celeres

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I'm unsure if there has been a post about this before, and I forgot which thread I was referring to a couple days prior—and I genuinely apologize if I've offended anyone—but my question is this: does age really matter? I browse many profiles (perhaps “perv” might be a better term) but 6 or 7 out of ever 10 profiles, there’s a specific “age” cut-off line. The number is even higher for those with Dominant profiles. This has caused me to wonder… (since my experience has taught me otherwise)—unless there is a specific reason, such as “age-play” where a vastly older or younger person is needed, what is the reason for age cut-offs? When I become 25, or 30, or 45, do I magically gain some sort of knowledge that cannot be attainable while I’m 18, or 21? Is there a particular reason why (especially for guys), there’s a tendency to lean toward those between 25-45? Perhaps older people have more money and finances available to spend on this expensive lifestyle? Perhaps older people have more time to dedicate? Just out of curiosity. I’m just wondering if there’s something intrinsic about age, or if it’s just a matter of “preference”? I’ve met many Dommes/Doms/subbies/slaves from every age up and down the spectrum, and I don’t really see any correlation to intelligence, knowledge, or even kink. Perhaps it has just my experience? Very simply, what is it with age that causes so much animosity to those that do not fit into a specific span?

------------------
My stance on the matter, age does not really matter too much. It is much more about attitude, maturity, and physical attraction. When I first turned 18, one of my first mentors was 36 years old. A couple years later, at the age of 20, I had a mentor who was 45. And well, this past year, I've had a couple other mentors who were more around my age. But all were pretty knowledgeable about BDSM and were intelligent about current politics or other things under the sun. Currently, a Dom/Domme couple who are 48/32 respectively are close friends of mine.

On the other side of that coin, however, I've also met some 50 year olds who send me pixellated photos of themselves, or 18 year olds who are just looking for that "easy lay." In my mind, age has no bearing on whom I choose to befriend. But that's just me.

Post #: 1

RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:30:29 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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It's just like vanilla dating, many people simply have a preference in age. Myself, my limit was no less than ten years older up to 25 years older. My wife, and first girlfriend, was nine years older than me while my last vanilla girlfriend was 30 years older than me. Now i have a Dominant who is actually my first relationship; vanilla, Ds or otherwise who is actually in my own age group, being only 4 years older than me (i often joke about Her being too young for me). i've never been happier in my adult life.

Now, i'm still more quickly attracted to women who are older than me; but i've started to actually believe that age is only a number.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
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Where the fuck do I post?

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(in reply to Celeres)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:36:40 PM

TermsConditions

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There is a certain level of gravitas one obtains with a little time under one's belt. Though the age is arbitrary, 25 is old enough to be finished with school, and graduate school, to have loved and lost a few times, collect some scars, and experience.

From the perspective of someone in his advanced years (OMG how did I live to be 40?) 25 seems very young. Some children bought the house accross the street.They look like highschoolers but they have kids and jobs. HTF is that possible?

Older women are likely to have more bearing, know more about themselves and less need to "Ride the Drama Llama." They have been there and done that, don't put up with a lot of shit and don't expect anyone else to either.

Just guessing.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to Celeres)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:37:08 PM

Madame4a

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From: Washington, DC area
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Generally, I'd prefer someone closer to my age. That said, what I'm really wanting is a level of maturity.

I'll give you an example of someone who falls out of my collar me age parameters, and if he contacted me online I'd say, thanks but no thanks...probably not the best approach.. but its mine

I have a partime roomate (Mon - Thurs -- gas prices suck) and occasional bottom and good friend.. who I often say I have to remind myself is a good 20 years younger than I am. He's a great friend and a marvelous person I might add.. who is wider, more diverse, and more mature than most beyond his years. I think he is an exception. I told him this week, one night when we were having a very deep discussion, Dex, honey,. I consistently have to remind myself (for what its worth and its not worth much) that you are actually only 27.

Age has bearing.. how you deal with it, is up to you...

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 6/8/2008 5:39:06 PM >

_____________________________

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:38:51 PM

Celeres

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quote:

Now, i'm still more quickly attracted to women who are older than me; but i've started to actually believe that age is only a number.

...that age is just a number. Not sure why I didn't say that before... hah. Thanks for your opinion... it's always interesting to read your posts. =)

< Message edited by Celeres -- 6/8/2008 5:41:37 PM >

(in reply to darchChylde)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:43:11 PM

TermsConditions

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And perving your profile, Mr. 22 year old, what's with all the pics of young, dark-haired hotties all aged 18-24? LOL.

Mr. Pot, I'd like you to meet Mr. Kettle, Mr. Kettle, Mr. Pot. You guys have LOTS to talk about. LOL

Oh God, I'm going to break a rib laughing! Where's my truss?

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 6

RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:44:50 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=729951

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 7

RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:47:31 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

In viewing profiles, I notice a lot of younger women put a "you're too old" notice to push away a particular age group. It really doesn't bother me because that's definitely not the person I want to dedicate any time to, because I tend to see someone like that as someone who is seeking a dating partner rather than a submissive. Sure, they can be the same thing, but when I take into account that it's usually a very young woman who is seeking a very young man, it gives me the impression that there's probably not a whole lot of experience involved. Sure, she could have been playing since she was six, but statistics tend to give me the odds that I'm probably better off pursuing someone with a bit more of an open perspective.

When I was younger, I never cared about age. Now that I'm older, I still don't. Others do. What can you do but just avoid the bitter bunnies in the flock?

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(in reply to Celeres)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:47:37 PM

TermsConditions

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Perzactly but you said it much better, and more completely, Thx darchChylde!

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=729951

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to darchChylde)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:48:33 PM

MySweetSubmssive

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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

I know what I'm comfortable with and interested in. Would I go outside my sweet spot if I found someone who rang my bells? Yes I would. The last person whom I was interested was a few years outside of what my age range is. But at this point I realize that I'm *probably* not going to go for a 50 year old or a 25 year old.

Mss

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:50:16 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

For the record I am not a ... a ... BITTER BUNNY!

(sticks out tongue at littlesarbonn)

Mss

_____________________________

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--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:50:35 PM

Celeres

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Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

And perving your profile, Mr. 22 year old, what's with all the pics of young, dark-haired hotties all aged 18-24? LOL.

Mr. Pot, I'd like you to meet Mr. Kettle, Mr. Kettle, Mr. Pot. You guys have LOTS to talk about. LOL

Oh God, I'm going to break a rib laughing! Where's my truss?

There are "some" that don't fall into that catagory. =P

I like to make friends with whomever wants to be my friend. These were just the ones that have asked for friendship or mentorship so far. I can't blame myself for that! But anyway, distance has been another issue, but that's for a different thread and different style of venting. (stupid 4.99 a gallon of gas)

(in reply to TermsConditions)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 5:55:20 PM

Celeres

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Joined: 3/9/2008
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quote:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=729951

I can see the "added" benefits of an older woman (or man for those of you who prefer it that way), but I was referring to dismissing an entire group of people based solely on age. Is a submissive any less or more malleable with time? Who's to say? But I do agree that older people, generally can handle themselves better. =)

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 13

RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 6:00:50 PM

TermsConditions

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Enjoy being 22. You have time on your side. Find some way to start putting some money, no matter how little, to work in the market (IRA, 401k etc.) and don't touch it. Your 50 year old self will beg to kiss your ass in gratitude.

FWIW there are dommes all around you, even in your peer group. Maybe they just need some help realizing their potential. My second D/s experience happend when I was 18 and she was 17. If I had known then what you know now I might have been able to make a lot more of that relationship for both her and myself.

I would think a youngish or less experienced Domme would be eager and / or willing to cut her dommish teeth on a tender young morsel such as yourself. Keep at it.

And I'm just jelus of the young hotties. Keep adding pics so I can continue to live vicariously.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeres

quote:

And perving your profile, Mr. 22 year old, what's with all the pics of young, dark-haired hotties all aged 18-24? LOL.

Mr. Pot, I'd like you to meet Mr. Kettle, Mr. Kettle, Mr. Pot. You guys have LOTS to talk about. LOL

Oh God, I'm going to break a rib laughing! Where's my truss?

There are "some" that don't fall into that catagory. =P

I like to make friends with whomever wants to be my friend. These were just the ones that have asked for friendship or mentorship so far. I can't blame myself for that! But anyway, distance has been another issue, but that's for a different thread and different style of venting. (stupid 4.99 a gallon of gas)

< Message edited by TermsConditions -- 6/8/2008 6:11:06 PM >

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to Celeres)

Post #: 14

RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 6:04:19 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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My FRIENDS are aged 20-90. In a relationship, I want someone that I am comfortable with and attracted to. I have always enjoyed the company of older men, but now that I am older myself (heh) I am scaling back and looking at men in my own age group. Why? Because while I know full well that a person can sicken at any age, it's a much better bet that the man 20 years older than me will be incapacitated a lot sooner. I have already seen that most men that age can't keep up with my needs~~I say MOST~~and I need to be energized, not dragged down.

I wish I could see young men as potential partners, but I just can't get there. A 30 year old woman, woohoo, a 30 year old man? Feels like he's my kid! Happy to talk, hang out, play around, but not as my #1 mister.

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[page 23 girl]

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 7:58:53 PM

MsStarlett

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Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I've always preferred my boy toys to be within 10 years of my age up or down. Silly me, I like to TALK to my toys... therefore it's not just a 'maturity' level, but a 'generational' problem. I like a common background in music, movies, media in general. Shared life experience like know how outraged we were when gas went to FORTY CENTS a gallon!

However, as mentioned, my first meet with a person from CM was with my new toy who is 21 years my junior. I'm surprised at myself for even speaking to the boy, but he turned out to be quite well suited for me. He can carry on a reasonable conversation and has even seen all the old "Get Smart" TV shows.

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 8:02:37 PM

impossiblesub

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I can give you one practical reason for Dommes wanting men over 25. A male's testosterone level continues to rise from puberty and peaks when he is 25 after which it begins to drop. Younger guys are probably too fiesty for most Dommes.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 6/8/2008 8:06:38 PM >

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 8:07:08 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
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To me, age is just a number.

However, it's harder to have things in common with someone who is drastically older than myself. I need a mate who I'm into, who is into me and who I enjoy spending time with them. Now, if they're into the stock market or sports or any number of things I'm not into then I'll be bored in the long run. It's all about compatablity, attraction and maturity; the number attatched isn't the issue.

I don't have a "cut off" I mean a mental one yeah...it'd be kind of weird to be with a 60 year old dude or something. I state I want someone ideally near my own age, however, I don't make it mandatory. If an older guy can woe me then more power to him.

< Message edited by Usako -- 6/8/2008 8:08:27 PM >

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 10:01:25 PM

Celeres

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Joined: 3/9/2008
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quote:

Shared life experience like know how outraged we were when gas went to FORTY CENTS a gallon!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Gas 2 blocks away is 4.99 for Premium. Stupid high performance vehicle... =/

I usually go a couple miles away where it's 4.69, but still!!!

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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RE: Age: A Hinderance or Bonus? - 6/8/2008 10:30:06 PM

PhoenixRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: impossiblesub
I can give you one practical reason for Dommes wanting men over 25. A male's testosterone level continues to rise from puberty and peaks when he is 25 after which it begins to drop. Younger guys are probably too fiesty for most Dommes.

Not that they're necessarily too fiesty... I like fiesty men! lol It's more that they're more unreliable and unpredictable, from my experience. The following are a list of reasons I've heard or experienced myself of why some are jaded toward the younger guys:

- for some Women, the guys are too close to the age of their own children. Squick factor.
- some younger men are not yet set in their jobs or careers and are more apt to change jobs. This either makes their schedules hard to deal with or introduces the possibility of them relocating to find a better job. Yes, this isn't limited to younger men by any means, it just seems to happen more frequently in that age group, and may limit the possiblity for longer-term relationships with them.
- A number of younger men I know ended up dating "vanilla" girlfriends their age and put their lifestyle interest on hold indefinitely. Though they say they want to persue the lifestyle, they like the familiarity and security of having an 'all-the-time, normal' relationship in their daily lives. A lot of them aren't yet ready for a 24/7 kind of committment to a Domme, and may never be, they'd like to be part-time submissives. A lot of Dommes want a sub to commit more than part-time if they're looking for a long-term relationship.
- the "fantasy crashes into reality" syndrome. This can happen with subs of any age with little real time experience. However, it seems that many younger subs tend to 'cut and run' and not know how to deal with it, or stick around long enough for them to have their Domme help them deal with it. In my experience so far, men with more life experience under their belts seem to have better mechanisms for coping with disappointment or unexpected emotions.

Those are just a few. I'm sure folks can come up with more. I recently took on a 20 yr old and I do hope we can develop a great relationship. Time will tell.

_____________________________

Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

(in reply to impossiblesub)

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