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LuvnFemAuthority -> RE: What should be in a sub's profile? (6/25/2008 6:38:12 AM)
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I know the reply is late but I want to add my 2 cents... cuz I can. :)
First and foremost, I agree with MissMagnolia that the first thing you should be doing is recognizing a Domme is a real, live woman and not only not a BDSM pornstar, but also not a) carbon copy of the last good experience you had nor b) a fantasy creation you've been dreaming about for years. I didn't realize, with the last boy I tried with, till way too far in that he had created a fantasy in his head that was not even possible in real life. I perhaps was blinded by the fact that he and I seemed to click so well. At the end of the day, the reality was that he wanted to be a workaholic, not have to really contribute much to the relationship, and still have a loving bond magically maintained. I still have yet to figure out when he would have time to serve with it like that never mind the standard emotional needs that need to be fulfilled. :: shrugs:: So, if you don't have a lot of experience with women, hell even if you do, ask yourself and/or someone else if what you want is even feasible.
Second, if you just list fetishes I'm going to think you're a faker or completely self-absorbed. I can understand why you'd want to get that out of the way, even that that is the hardest part to click with, fine. For gawdsake, please still start with who you are first. If a either a Domme or sub is not willing to read the whole profile they aren't worthy of you anyway. I actually want to know a bit about you before I bother to write to you. Which leads me to #3...
Third, I want to see intelligence in a profile. Show me that you've thought through who you are and what you want. Show me that you can construct a decent sentence. Grammar and spell check it even! One more broken english profile by a native speaker and I'm going to spontaneously combust. What the hell is wrong with our educational system that people can't manage a simple declarative sentence? (No, I'm not perfect either. There's a difference between neanderthal and not knowing where to put commas.)
Fourth, I want to see ambition and success in the regular world. Perhaps not everyone is but I busted my ass to get through my masters so I'm not keen to choose a walmart employee for a partner. No, I'm not expecting a man to be rich just similiarly educated and gainfully employed! I'm not asking for anything I don't expect from myself also. Ambition begets ambition.
So in my opinion, although not terribly humble, a profile should start with what type of relationship you are seeking. Don't make me read to the end to find out you're married and only want to meet once a week in a motel. That will piss me off. If you think your fetishes are unique and need to be addressed put that second. Otherwise, I'd say just leave that to the "interests" list on the left. Continue on to general information about yourself, some adjectives might be nice. Share some hobbies. And I would like to know the level of education you attained and the general field you are employed in.
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ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
I know different aspects of this have been covered elsewhere, but I hope people won't mind my trying to get it all in one place where it's easy to reference. :)
What information are you looking for when you browse profiles looking for a potential sub? Some things I suppose are obvious, like the standard age/sex/location question, and most seem to like photos. Beyond that?
My own profile -- I intend to revise it soon -- consist primarily of a summary of my kinky interests, with some elaborations. This was perhaps not well-thought out, as I believe it turns off many (if not virtually all) dommes, who see it as a "laundry list" of fantasies or fetishes I expect them to cater to. Which is not how it's intended; the idea is to see if we're somewhere on the same page, or at least in the same chapter. I cannot, with any degree of honesty, say that "I will serve in any way desired; it's all about You." Of course I expect a domme to be concerned with fulfilling her own needs, desires, and kinks. However, if she has absolutely no interest in areas important to me, then we would probably both be better off looking elsewhere; if I'm not getting my own kinks addressed from time to time, I'm not going to be enthusiastic about serving her in other ways.
So, while I ought to de-emphasize that part of things, I am wondering what other information is being sought. Career? Hobbies? Philosophy of life? Skills? Goals, both in and out of the relationship? Physical traits? Past Femdom experience? Areas the sub wishes to learn about and/or improve? Limits? Health issues?
I know there will be a variety of answers, but hopefully there will be some things we hopefuls can learn from. Me, I'm afraid that it will turn out that I just don't look all that good on paper....
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