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being a Dom Online - 10/29/2005 11:35:50 PM

testoss

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/29/2004
Status: offline

I have no clue how to be a dom or a master online I am a hands on tyoe of guy got to be there but I am deployed in Iraq and am looking for a new slave I am talking to one that intrests me alot but she wants to rty an online relationship is it really possible and what can I do any suggestions would be appreciated

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RE: being a Dom Online - 10/30/2005 2:14:23 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

I'd go with honesty - for me, I can only dominate a sub online if I've previously shared a r/l D/s dynamic with her, as everything tends to start with eye contact....

You can either go outside your comfort zone and wing it (and most likely crash and burn) or show her who's boss and tell her the truth. If she's the one for you, she'll respond to an online relationship that isn't necessarily preoccupied with just getting her jollies off.

One of my favourite sayings is that "water always finds it's own level" and if you blow this through not being true to yourself, there'll only be one person to blame. And if it fails through your reluctance or inability to be an online dom, you really haven't lost a damn thing and there'll be others!

Just don't get caught up in "proving" yourself as a dom to a stranger online - that's one very slippery slope to stand on and is guaranteed to leave you looking like some wannabe geek.

Keep the emails at more than just a D/s level to maintain interest until you're in a realistic position to go to real life. And welcome to the Forums.

Focus.

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RE: being a Dom Online - 10/30/2005 5:08:06 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
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just be careful...i met someone that intriqued me greatly and he said he'd meet me in a few weeks but since disapeered. I am sick of the online fantasy players personally . Ones that take your feelings and submission and use it as a joke for their personal pleasure. On the flip side of that there are many women who feel they can lead domiants on a wild fantasy goose chase...very sad.

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RE: being a Dom Online - 10/30/2005 5:50:12 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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being true to yourself o/l is difficult.

i think o/l can only give and take so much for the parties involved.

also there must be an extreme trust factor...........
it's hard to tell the wannabe's from the real (whether it be the sub or the Dom).

if you know it will lead to r/t soon enough then it shall most likely smooth itself out some or it will disappear b/c of non-fulfillment.

the D/s dynamic seems different o/l than r/l. IMO........
one cannot see the subs eyes downcast within the writtin word. one cannot feel the power of Master's eyes on the net. you can suppose you feel, you can think you feel.......................

however on the up side many seem to do the o/l thing quite successfully.

do you 2 seem to click in email or chat, does it seem like there is chemistry.....if so, it may work.

good luck to you Sir

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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RE: being a Dom On line - 10/30/2005 7:01:03 AM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
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Speaking from our own experiences yes it can work on line in each party gaining an understanding of the others involved as well as a building of respect and trust also and through this building of it ideas emerge and are opened to further discussion and exploration.
Once this trust and respect is established then the Sub or Slave will feel so very excited to let you set a task for her that she will endeavor to do her utmost to undertake and succeed at with some form of documentation that she has done so for you,but at no time set something that would be above her attempting until you are with her in person.
We have found and meet in the flesh not all but some of the subs and slaves we have begun our relationship on line with and who have felt that we are who they wish to enjoy being with at the times they can be due to our distance from any main towns or cities and it has been a great journey of not only discovery and trust but also friendship.
If it does not work out then you should still have a friend in her that you are able to call a friend as we have with those that for some reason things didn't click or just not quite right but we all still have respect for each other as well.
There are many downfalls through it also in that you are unable to see reactions to questions or to requests and as stated by sweerpettjenny that ride can be a long and winding road with sorrow and heart ache at the end as well as what fyreredsub has said about not being able to see the eyes of each other.
Please remember that these are our thoughts and what has been our results only we also wish you a safe and happy return to your own country testoss and hope that it is with great rewards waiting for you on that return

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RE: being a Dom Online - 10/30/2005 7:21:57 AM

CenTxDom

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/29/2005
Status: offline

On line only is a tough road to travel but it can be done. Disussion of vanilla interests and the whys you got interested helps to define your thought process to each other. If she desires a little example of control try writting assignments, things like define, or explain all the myriad of things we find defined so loosly on these borads - its help to solidify your common thoughts on what you hope find when you get back. Discuss philosphical issues keeping mind they are opinons and everyone is entitled to their own.

Personally I think the things I read about on boards, do this tonight and tell me about it, are just so much bunk. A foolish exercie.

Stay safe (been there and done that in another location more than once)

CTD

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RE: being a Dom Online - 11/1/2005 9:03:37 AM

testoss

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/29/2004
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thanks for all your hepl I am gonna give this a shot just not what I am used to

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RE: being a Dom Online - 11/1/2005 2:31:44 PM

Nightguy

Posts: 55
Joined: 4/28/2005
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I've had quite a few online subs over the years, some successful, some not. I've found that what makes it work is that both sides have the same goal, and that both sides are committed to at least giving it time to see if it works out or not.
Sometimes you can tell right away if online will work for you, but in most cases you have to take the time to get to know each other first.
But the most important thing, and the biggest stumbling block, is communication.
We aren't mind readers, if either party thinks something is wrong then you need to TELL them. Believe it or not most things can be fixed. An online D/s relationship takes WORK, but if both sides just talk it makes things a whole lot easier.
Once you get over the hump, then an online relationship can be just as much fun and just as fulfilling as RT. But most people tend to give up well before that happens, which is a shame.
So, maintain your communication, work out the technical details, and remember that this isn't some computer game that you are playing, that a real person is on the other end of that internet connection...and you will be fine.

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RE: being a Dom Online - 11/1/2005 6:48:38 PM

masteroffire

Posts: 66
Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Yukon, Oklahoma
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It all depends on what you are looking for. I know some who have started out with an online D/s relationship and later moved on to a real relationship. However there are many who only want online, and it is just a game for them, not a lifestyle.

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"They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm."
Dorothy Parker, 'Fair Weather,' Sunset Gun, 1928

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RE: being a Dom Online - 11/2/2005 7:33:03 PM

Jacques1000

Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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I would concur with MasterofFire. You need to be clear about what the ultimate aim is. If it is to try a r/t relationship when you finish your deployment, then fine. If it is too explore some new places in each other imaginations but that is it, then fine. However, either way you should both have an idea if there is an endgame. Good Luck.

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RE: being a Dom Online - 11/15/2005 6:51:05 PM

Blaze2003

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/1/2004
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It may just be me, yet why not take the time you are deployed to learn each other. Even then you will not totally KNOW one another till you have spent time together. You can still talk on the phone, write, email etc. Get to know how she ticks, see if you are on COMMON ground on alot of things. FACE IT>..... if you did not have a relationship with her before your deployment, how do you know she is real. How do you know that you are not ONE of the DOM'S she talks to . BE HER ONE does not happen overnight. Make your mark on her now. Let her become addicted to you, so to speak. Just my insight, then again what do I know I scare / piss off most Dominant men ........lol

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RE: being a Dom Online - 11/15/2005 8:02:19 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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Honestly I'd wait till you are able to actually give of yourself. Online sucks when he is either to busy or unavailible for real life. I've gone that rout before. Waited a year in a half for someone who never had time for me, and it caused nothing but heartache.

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