email, Yahoo IM and phone (Full Version)

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pinkpleasures -> email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 4:39:15 AM)

i find myself struggling a bit with when it is appropriate to give out such information as my Yahoo IM ID or phone number. My number's unlisted, so i feel less concerned about being located at home, but it is still personal information.

i have just brushed off a Man who refused to use any messenger service so we could chat in real time, and instead wanted my phone number.

On the other hand, i offered my phone number rather quickly to a Man i spoke to yesterday.

i think one issue is safety; one must be aware that fruits and nuts are online as well as regular people. But there's more to it than that...i guess YIM is a kind of screening process for me; and leaves a copy in my archives, for future reference. This allows me to say "thus far but no further" easier than the phone does, i think.

Anyone else feel like this?

pinkpleasures



domtimothy46176 -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 4:48:04 AM)

I'll give my yahoo ID out without thinking twice. I can easily block someone who turns out to be an asshole or simply ignore them when they IM me, whichever seems best. My yahoo profile does have a picture of me but so does my profile here on collarme and, of the two, the collarme profile has much more personal information.
I am more selective about who I give my phone number to, since I dislike having to change the number. OTOH, I've had to change the phone number to avoid being harassed by women I knew well enough to marry, so there are no certainties. In general, I listen to my gut and things generally work out well. When in doubt, I've found that Caller ID is effective for screening my calls. I also keep firearms and ammunition at the house, in case of emergency. [:D]
Timothy



MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 5:13:32 AM)

It is very easy with any of the IM programs to block anyone as we have done on occasion same as collarme the best part of Ims are you can do it any thime you get the feeling things are not what they originally seemed adn it also gives you an insight as to how minds work as well.
We never give our phone number or address to anyone untill a lot of questions have been answered by them over a fair lenght of time and by the end of that tiem you have a very good idea it is safe to do so,this applys to those in our country or from over seas as well.



fyreredsub -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 5:24:21 AM)


i go to yahoo after ermailing and chat here then the phone.
then i use my cell not the home phone.



yourGentlemanDom -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 5:26:31 AM)

I think there is a difference between phone number and IM, a contact on IM who becomes a pain in the neck can be blocled with a click , while phoane harassment is harder to avoid.
Nowadays , with IM having both video and voice features it is even less desirable to give away one's phone number.
Tell the man who wants your phone number that if he only wants to talk and hear your voice to use the IM, all that's required is a headset that costs peanuts



LadyAngelika -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 6:29:43 AM)

I'd also add that Yahoo IM has voice chat. And if you buy yourself a half decent microphone, the sound is actually pretty good. That could be a good comprimise for someone who doesn't want to give their phone number but wants to hear voice.

- LA



Kasia -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 6:38:03 AM)

I wouldnt consider my yahoo id something serious.... I chat with heaps of people on yahoo and like others said it is no problem to block them or appear offline to some when you want it. In fact, I regulary login as invisible and then "ring" those I want to talk to - I dont like typing in two im "windows" at the same time.

With my cell phone number I am a bit more picky. But that doesnt matter either for I never answer to "number unknown". If I am not sure about someones intentions, I give my husbands cell phone number.... and they usually never call him [:D]

My home phone number I only gave to family and really close friends. Not because I am scared, (I would just love to see any nut case or freak trying to scare me) but because my family and really close friends know exactly when not to call me for I may be sleeping or something. Calling me for some idiotic reason when I am asleep may get anyone in serious trouble [>:]



FTopinMichigan -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 6:43:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
i find myself struggling a bit with when it is appropriate to give out such information as my Yahoo IM ID or phone number.
<snip>
i think one issue is safety; one must be aware that fruits and nuts are online as well as regular people. But there's more to it than that...i guess YIM is a kind of screening process for me; and leaves a copy in my archives, for future reference. This allows me to say "thus far but no further" easier than the phone does, i think.

Anyone else feel like this?



I'm with ya on this, pinkpleasures! Years ago, I met a man through my ex-bf, and this man called constantly, and actually held the phone line open. He's would call and then stay on the line, to keep it open, and when I picked the phone up, hours later...he was still there. Ten calls an hour was not uncommon also, and this was before Caller ID, and when someone else answered the phone.

When I've mistakenly offered my number out, I've gotten calls very late at night, or repeatedly until I answered. And how insulting is it, when someone asks for YOUR number and then calls and "blocks" their own phone number. [:@]

When meeting someone via the Internet, I enjoy getting to know them a bit via e-mail or messages. My phone number is not an option, until I'm ready to give it out, and usually doesn't even happen until I meet them in person. Someone forcing the issue is just blocked, deleted, and forgot about.

K



orfunboi -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 6:49:22 AM)

i have no problems with giving out my yahoo address...i am orfunboi on just about everything and can block people without giving it much thought. In fact i get about 2 im's a week from total strangers who i usually block.

i don't give out my phone number to anyone i have not already met in person, i don't see any reason to, and i doubt that will change soon.

calli



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 6:51:08 AM)

SUre, you do whatever feels comfortable. The idea that we will react the same way to everyone is very illogical. There are some people I will play and have sex with the first time we meet and there are some people I will never meet at all.

I say go forward as soon as you are comfortable with it.



MsIncognito -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 7:08:57 AM)

Anyone who insists on immediate phone contact is dropped like a hot potato here. I've noticed that none of them ever give me their phone number to call them, they always want mine. Yeah, I'll get right on that. *eyeball roll*

Giving out my phone number affects more than just me - I havea family to think about as well. I've only given that out to 2 or 3 people in the last few years and only after I'd met them in person and felt confident that it wouldn't be abused.

MSN and YIM info I give out to anyone that I feel would be interesting to chat with but I do so with the full knowledge that there are a lot of people in the IT field surfing the net for partners these days. It's possible that someone with the knowledge could use that to find me but I also realize that risk is small. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

IMO, it's about knowing the risks and following through in whatever manner you're comfortable with. It also helps to have good gut instincts and listen to them. I've found gut instinct to be my best friend both out here in cyber land and in real life.



IronBear -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 7:18:15 AM)

Yahell Voice Chat is pretty good and I can talk to any country as well as long distance in Australia for nothing beats the hell of the good deal i have with my land line provider. Just have to upgrade my mic now....



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 7:59:46 AM)

I am pretty free about giving my Yahoo/AOL name out to chat SO LONG as it's after someone has written me a decent introductory email - chatting via IMs is NOT a way to get around to doing that. It's also not so I can be available to chit chat every time I am online with them.

As for phone numbers...well, if I am talking to someone online with the intention of meeting them, there's only about a one month window that I will talk to them online. After 2-3 weeks there is still mutual interest, then a phone call is in order.

After 10+ years of meeting people online...I think maybe once I had someone call after things ended. But I still am careful about giving out numbers; no one gets my house number, only my cell.



pinkpleasures -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:23:46 AM)

Kasia..i'd like to add You to my Yahoo Im list but you have no profile on the other side so i could not email you my request. If you are willing, please email me with the info. TY -- i find you wise and interesting.

pinkpleasures



pinkpleasures -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:28:51 AM)

quote:

When meeting someone via the Internet, I enjoy getting to know them a bit via e-mail or messages. My phone number is not an option, until I'm ready to give it out, and usually doesn't even happen until I meet them in person. Someone forcing the issue is just blocked, deleted, and forgot about.

FTopinMichigan/K


i have an added problem; i made a deal with the phone company for reduced rates, but i cannot have Caller ID, etc. My biggest problem (just a nuisance, but a big one) is Men in California waiting till 9 pm to use their cell phones for free; when that is midnight here and i've gone to bed. Every time i'm awakened that way i automatically think something has happened to my kid; and i suffer from insomnia, so many times i have had trouble falling back asleep. One nincompop dictated that he would call when he wished because i was submissive to him; he is Long Gone, as you can imagine.

pinkpleasures



pinkpleasures -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:30:38 AM)

How do you block someone on YIM?

pinkpleasures (TYVM)



pinkpleasures -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:33:38 AM)

quote:

SUre, you do whatever feels comfortable. The idea that we will react the same way to everyone is very illogical. There are some people I will play and have sex with the first time we meet and there are some people I will never meet at all.

I say go forward as soon as you are comfortable with it.

LuckyAlbatross


Emerald; did you change nicks? You're so lovely...i liked your old nick.

BTW, yes, instinct is what i generally rely on...but 10 out of 11 men i give my YIM ID to i no longer wish to speak to after the 1st time, but they keep IM'ing me. It's a less-than-perfect system.

pinkpleasures



pinkpleasures -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:36:58 AM)

quote:

Yahell Voice Chat is pretty good and I can talk to any country as well as long distance in Australia for nothing beats the hell of the good deal i have with my land line provider. Just have to upgrade my mic now....

IronBear


OOOOOO, would love to hear Your voice Sir...i am an accent slut, ROFL.

pinkpleasures



fyreredsub -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:40:42 AM)

go into preferences and change settings to say block users from this list and add the id or you can have it to ignore anyone not on friends list



pinkpleasures -> RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone (10/30/2005 8:41:44 AM)

quote:

I am pretty free about giving my Yahoo/AOL name out to chat SO LONG as it's after someone has written me a decent introductory email - chatting via IMs is NOT a way to get around to doing that. It's also not so I can be available to chit chat every time I am online with them.

As for phone numbers...well, if I am talking to someone online with the intention of meeting them, there's only about a one month window that I will talk to them online. After 2-3 weeks there is still mutual interest, then a phone call is in order.

After 10+ years of meeting people online...I think maybe once I had someone call after things ended. But I still am careful about giving out numbers; no one gets my house number, only my cell.

MsSonnetMarwood


i think Yours is the closest to my approach; i do want to speak by phone. Obviously, since i'm still searching, i have not found Him....but i think speaking freely and hearing His voice is important.

pinkpleasures



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