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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 6:39:45 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Call me sick ... that was a little edge-play hot.

Mss

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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 6:41:01 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
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3 days and your done , and than theres the whole snip snip thing going on.....

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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 7:02:38 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

mike i can deal with being put into a cage while Dommes pass by to see if i could be selected to be taken home in the adoption , I can even handle a snip snip "after 40 so who cares " But the whole 3 days and you get the sleepy shot NO THANKS hard limit ..

Smiles at Mss ..

quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

3 days and your done , and than theres the whole snip snip thing going on.....

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Post #: 23

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 7:17:55 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

We could start an adopt a sub thread....

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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 7:18:02 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

3 days and your done , and than theres the whole snip snip thing going on.....

Well, i think that would apply to most of us... brief holding period to make sure that there isn't an Owner out there wondering where we've wandered off to. i tend to think that the more adoptable critters- the buff, handsome, well-off, charming, witty, confident type-A guys- would be kept for at least a couple of weeks until they found a good home.

Of course, if you start humping legs, you're not even going to get the full 3 days... It's like a canine with a biting problem.

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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 7:30:30 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Hmmm ... if a dominant said something shitty like that about an individual man, she'd likely be called out for it. That amount of self-depracation makes me uncomfortable.

Please don't roundaboutly put words in my mouth.

Mss

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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 8:02:27 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

3 days and your done , and than theres the whole snip snip thing going on.....

Well, i think that would apply to most of us... brief holding period to make sure that there isn't an Owner out there wondering where we've wandered off to. i tend to think that the more adoptable critters- the buff, handsome, well-off, charming, witty, confident type-A guys- would be kept for at least a couple of weeks until they found a good home.

Of course, if you start humping legs, you're not even going to get the full 3 days... It's like a canine with a biting problem.

I was going to ask if that logic meant all i got was 24 hrs but than I read MySweetSubmissive'spost about self depracating so I'll stick to the 72hr's thing

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RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 8:05:10 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

(slips slvmike4u a chew toy)

Happy to take our progress in baby steps ...

Mss

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Post #: 28

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 8:58:36 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

We could start an adopt a sub thread....

Good idea.

I don't feel bad that *I'm* not the one claiming every good submissive, but but I do hate to see good things go to waste.

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Post #: 29

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 11:22:59 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

purrrs while laying at MySweetSubmissive's feet chewing his toy,thinking to himself "isn't there something better i could be doing with my mouth"

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Post #: 30

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 5:37:43 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
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Glad to know I'm not alone! I like the adopt-a-sub idea. :) Like Misstoyou, I just hate seeing good things go to waste!

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Post #: 31

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 6:04:37 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

Please don't roundaboutly put words in my mouth.

Sorry... apparently the path was roundabout enough that i still don't know how i did it

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Post #: 32

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 8:36:23 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

I'm in somewhat the same situation you ascribe for yourself. Leaving off the "fame fuckers" I know a whole bunch of women who would make excellent partners if Libby wasn't in my life. I've developed several approaches.

First, I try to be a friend. I keep an eye out for people who might make potential partners and I occasionally comment on what fine people they are when I'm in a public venue. Libby and I invite them to be a third to the occasional parties where they can see and be seen. We also have non-play social gatherings at our house where we invite them as well as a number of new arrivals to the scene.

Subject to Libby's approval, I play occasionally with those that are interested and willing to accept the inherent limits of such play. Libby has a wonderful sense of who can do this and who might be a problem. In 16 years, she's only been wrong once. We do not "trust my instincts." Being a man, in such situations, I tend to think too much with the "auxillery brain." Play with such restrictions is a lot like eating fast food when one is starving for a banquet, but when one is starving, it does prevent bad choices.

Jenny, I don't know if you have a partner, but back in Boston, Libby had a group for submissive women, where they could meet in private and engage in self-help and support. Even if they couldn't find a good dominant, the support of the group prevented them from making obvious mistakes.

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Post #: 33

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 8:43:19 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I'm in somewhat the same situation you ascribe for yourself. Leaving off the "fame fuckers" I know a whole bunch of women who would make excellent partners if Libby wasn't in my life. I've developed several approaches.

First, I try to be a friend. I keep an eye out for people who might make potential partners and I occasionally comment on what fine people they are when I'm in a public venue. Libby and I invite them to be a third to the occasional parties where they can see and be seen. We also have non-play social gatherings at our house where we invite them as well as a number of new arrivals to the scene.

Subject to Libby's approval, I play occasionally with those that are interested and willing to accept the inherent limits of such play. Libby has a wonderful sense of who can do this and who might be a problem. In 16 years, she's only been wrong once. We do not "trust my instincts." Being a man, in such situations, I tend to think too much with the "auxillery brain." Play with such restrictions is a lot like eating fast food when one is starving for a banquet, but when one is starving, it does prevent bad choices.

Jenny, I don't know if you have a partner, but back in Boston, Libby had a group for submissive women, where they could meet in private and engage in self-help and support. Even if they couldn't find a good dominant, the support of the group prevented them from making obvious mistakes.

I hope that being a friend is more help than hurt to them...so far, the guys assure me this is the case, for which I am glad. Most of them aren't local, of course, and I'm a pretty hard-core introvert anyway, so parties and such are out, but I hope I can be a positive voice for them here and privately.

I've seriously considered "friend play", and, to be honest, I'm still considering it. I know my guy would be okay with it, but it is a path that risks a fair bit of drama, something I work pretty hard to minimize in my life, so...

I very much do have a partner...*chuckle* That's pretty much the crux of the issue. He has even less free-time than I do, however. (I would love to have him spend time on the forums, but he doesn't even have time for that these days.)

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Post #: 34

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 8:53:43 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
back in Boston, Libby had a group for submissive women, where they could meet in private and engage in self-help and support. Even if they couldn't find a good dominant, the support of the group prevented them from making obvious mistakes.

't

i'm trying to imagine such a group for male submissives and can't help thinking how much of a disaster it would be. i'll admit to having most of the prejudices that so many others have against submissive men in general. Half the room would be trying to lead and assert their dominance as the Alpha; while the other half would be sitting quietly, waiting for their paper to be signed (like someone on probation or parole in an Alcohol Anonymous meeting) in order to prove to their prospective dominant lady that they attended. Either that, or none would show if it were not at least led by a dominant woman.

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I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
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Where the fuck do I post?

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Post #: 35

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 9:52:21 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
back in Boston, Libby had a group for submissive women, where they could meet in private and engage in self-help and support. Even if they couldn't find a good dominant, the support of the group prevented them from making obvious mistakes.

't

i'm trying to imagine such a group for male submissives and can't help thinking how much of a disaster it would be. i'll admit to having most of the prejudices that so many others have against submissive men in general. Half the room would be trying to lead and assert their dominance as the Alpha; while the other half would be sitting quietly, waiting for their paper to be signed (like someone on probation or parole in an Alcohol Anonymous meeting) in order to prove to their prospective dominant lady that they attended. Either that, or none would show if it were not at least led by a dominant woman.

One of the clubs I belong to has exactly such a support group for submissives. They meet once/month, always on an evening when I have my UM's for the night. If I were able to go to one of their meetings, I'd be the only male submissive in attendance.

- pixel

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Post #: 36

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 9:58:03 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
back in Boston, Libby had a group for submissive women, where they could meet in private and engage in self-help and support. Even if they couldn't find a good dominant, the support of the group prevented them from making obvious mistakes.

't

i'm trying to imagine such a group for male submissives and can't help thinking how much of a disaster it would be. i'll admit to having most of the prejudices that so many others have against submissive men in general. Half the room would be trying to lead and assert their dominance as the Alpha; while the other half would be sitting quietly, waiting for their paper to be signed (like someone on probation or parole in an Alcohol Anonymous meeting) in order to prove to their prospective dominant lady that they attended. Either that, or none would show if it were not at least led by a dominant woman.

One of the clubs I belong to has exactly such a support group for submissives. They meet once/month, always on an evening when I have my UM's for the night. If I were able to go to one of their meetings, I'd be the only male submissive in attendance.

- pixel

[sad laughter] Damn, you guys really make me greatful the first cause or whatever made me dominant. I'll try to remember this next time I'm bitching about "We doms gotta do all the work" and rubbing a sore whip shoulder.

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Post #: 37

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 10:31:39 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

No, I don't feel bad at all.

I have a household to take care of. I have a career to work on once that is settled down and we are settled into a new community then we might open up the household.

Even if I like someone I never feel pressured into scening with them. I think, for me, that would be counter to what and why I am a dominant.

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Post #: 38

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 4:24:54 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Oh, Dear Dominant Jenny, Take heart and feel no guilt.

    You are one of the shining stars of the CollarChat universe. Your compasion shines through in all of your postings The love and respect you feel for your man is a delight to (at least me) to behold.

    The fact that you are unavailable does have one effect on me. I may be a bit more candid when responding to your postings. I do reckon that I would be more... more what? more careful?.. if I were corresponding with a woman with whom I thought I might actually have a chance with. I don't understand that; but, I do acknowledge it.

    This posting does leave me curious about how many round I would last, but that is neither here nor there to this question of guilt. I am only curious. I am always interested in your insights and the discussions that you inspire. Your threads are one of two reasons that I bother with these message boards at all. The fact that you are approachable and respond to my (and others) postings is all of the availability that and of us submissives should reasonably expect.

Perhaps it is I who should feel guilty. When I said that you are the type of woman that I seek for a Mistress; and/or, when I say that your man is lucky; maybe I crossed some boundary. These are statments of fact; but, there may be a better way to say such things.

I say that you should bask in our adoration and remember that responding to our missives is much more that we deserve. = D

Respectfully, Mike
SnowRanger

-----------------------------------------------------------------
big fan of DominantJenny

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Post #: 39

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/10/2008 4:35:43 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Okay, I have to weigh in on the attached are better idea. DarchChylde, Aidan, AND MANY OTHERS here are just great guys. Not a one of them would be a good sub for me, and I wouldn't dream of poaching. Their being taken has nothing to do with their other fine qualities.

And you ladies who are getting deluged with offers? Good for you! My good offers are all long distance or married.

what you said...in both paragraphs...lol

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Post #: 40

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