RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality.

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RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. - 6/17/2008 9:41:06 PM

jim64

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

I have to agree with you.We do not have sex to be connected to our BDSM life. We are monogamous and so do not include others in our sex life. Our sex life is fun, but does not always include S/M.

As a sub/bottom, i might find someone sexually attractive, yet having a scene with them does not turn me on.(OK, that might turn me on a bit more .) I enjoy the pain/pleasure!

jim64

(in reply to RumpusParable)

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RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. - 6/18/2008 1:14:27 PM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforyouruse
Would you be interested in dominating or being dominated by someone that is either: A) Not compatible with you sexually (ie. lesbian dominant and male submissive), or B) Compatible with you sexually but you're not sexually interseted in? (ie hetro dominant female and hetro male submissive, but one or both are not sexually attracted to each other)

Absolutely. Sexual attraction is not at all a necessary component of compatibility for a scene--or even a D/s relationship--for me. Sex and BDSM can go well together, but are in no way inseparable. The idea of dominating someone whose orientation makes them uninterested in me sexually (i.e. a straight woman or a gay man) actually has a unique appeal because they would be serving me for a reason other than the usual.

(in reply to boyforyouruse)

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RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. - 6/18/2008 1:29:23 PM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
For Me, the non-sexual encounters (I know someone's going to have a field day with that, but I mean it as sex between two people isn't going to happen) that I have with those I play casually with, doesn't mean there's not a connection. There's a difference in My book between sexual and intimacy.

I completely agree.
I can have shallow, connectionless scenes with subs to whom I am strongly attracted, and I can have deep, meaningful scenes with those to who I am not at all attracted sexually. Connection and attraction are independent of each other, for me.

< Message edited by TwoNYCDommes -- 6/18/2008 1:31:24 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: D/s with incompatible sexuality. - 6/18/2008 4:06:16 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm monogamous. Thus that scenario would mean I'd be without sex. Since play is very sexual to me, I'd also be without that. What that leaves is pure service and since I'm not service oriented, there isn't any way such a relationship would meet my needs at all. Or the top's, for that matter.

However I can see a masochist having a part time relationship with a sadist as long as they're both willing to open the relationship.

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(in reply to ThundersCry)

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Post #: 44