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RE: Underconsideration - 6/11/2008 8:20:59 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		It seems like you are moving quite fast.. two weeks to a consideration collar.. and you are still just finding out information on the relationship..

I know the biggest mistakes i have made, and also those made by my Sir has made was moving too fast.. Ours was a long slow process in developing into a M/s.  a while ago we jumped into a poly, 'cause it seemed good... but fell apart in months..   this time.. we are going slow, have a great gal who is yet to move in, but will do so for a 2 month trial.. then we'll see... all in good time..  Oh, and our poly is not about sexual play.. some cuddleing yes, but not sexual. Maybe in the future but not now in this stage.

point is.. you are going very fast.... your consideration time is as much for you to find out if you want him or them.. they are under consideration also. take you time.. get to know what is going on.. slow down..  good luck

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Underconsideration - 6/13/2008 3:55:14 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If she doesn't have any experience, then of course she can't agree to do whatever he wants because she hasn't discovered her limits yet. She ought to be going slowly.

Sounds like he wants you for immediate gratification and hard play and her for a relationship. Is that something you're up for?

That may be what it sounds like to you but do you know enough about the situation to even make that claim?only one poster so far has even asked a question to find out..every other has ran straight to opinions ..wouldn't it be more responsible to ask questions before making calls?

And yet your previous post ends with the words "my opinion.".
 
Celeste isn't entitled to hers?  And everyone else? 
 
Are not Forums the place for opinions per se'? 
 
Are we not entitled to think the OP has given all the information initially relevant to them?
 
What makes you arbiter of all that's relevant in response?
 
Yes, we can ask questions (like I am now), just as the OP can respond to the replies.  When they don't, it's reasonable to assume they're getting what was sought....
 
Just my opinion.
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Underconsideration - 6/13/2008 4:50:46 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		to the OP:
You ask if there is a difference between a slave and a sub.  Your profile name is subeos and you sign your notes as slave eos.... Sounds like they aren't the only ones confused.  Now I am a big believer in confusion.  It's a great place to be.  It can open all kinds of things to us. 

Glad to hear you have decided to stay out of that hornet's nest.  Might want to get clear about yourself and stuff... seeing as you have no profile and that always makes me leary of the person... that's just me though.

good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Underconsideration - 6/15/2008 4:15:28 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My question is. Is there a difference bettween a Sub and a slave? Because when she asks me questions i just tell her i will do what Sir wants. she does not seem to get that. Any feedback would be welcomed.
slave eos

as noted below, it is hard to answer someone when you cannot get a handle on the profile / thus no answer.

CP

(in reply to subeos)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Underconsideration - 6/16/2008 2:56:19 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

My question is. Is there a difference bettween a Sub and a slave? Because when she asks me questions i just tell her i will do what Sir wants. she does not seem to get that. Any feedback would be welcomed.
slave eos

as noted below, it is hard to answer someone when you cannot get a handle on the profile / thus no answer.

Yet the OP did not request a critique of their profile - so why is the actual topic hard to answer? 
 
Conversely, is it not easier just 'X' out here than (apparently) attempt to hijack and derail because *you* have an issue with "no profile found"...?
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Underconsideration - 6/16/2008 6:33:26 AM   
eepsy


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		The difference in slave and sub is the different definitions people like to put on them, usually associated with a different degree of submission. IMHO, everyone is different and submissives (sub/slaves/bottoms/whateveryouwannacallit) have different needs and degree of submission and it is difficult to put strict boundaries and definitions. Discussions about difference between subs/slaves usually end up as a argument on semantics, which becomes terribly boring and frustrating. My take on the matter is to think about who you are, what you need, the extent to which you want your submission and his domination to be... and go from there. (I'm obviously not a fan of labels)

Now... moving on.. (or rather, back, to the original topic) ...

Think about things carefully before you agree to anything, don't feel pressurized because of your friendship with her or your feelings for him. He says you're under consideration, shouldn't he be under consideration too, then? I don't know if I interpreted your original post wrong, but the Dom in question only told you about his sub AFTER he "puts you under consideration"? Either I'm confused or there is a problem with complete honesty there.

Anyway, having said that.. I'll go into my own experience. I was in a poly relationship previously. I was younger (read: stupider) then, and honestly, don't even know how I actually got there. I was crazy about him and she's a brilliant friend and sister. But I did realise over time that I had not given it enough careful thinking before going into it... poly is far more than just having one more person than in a mono relationship. Liking both other people in the relationship does not mean that a poly situation will work well either (ok, now I'm starting to sound confusing, aren't I?). What I'm trying to say is that the dynamics of poly situations result in many very complex emotional issues.

The bottom line is to take things slow and give it some careful thinking before you make a decision.



(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Underconsideration - 6/18/2008 12:47:48 PM   
subeos


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		I have been gone a few days but want to try and answer the questions. i am a slave and yes i call myself sub_eos... because whe i first tried getting an account, i was told that name was taken. So, i am not confused. The profile is hidden nnot just there because i needed some time to think. Thats all!
Some ppl need to read before opening their mouth. But, i still like you.
slave eos

(in reply to eepsy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Underconsideration - 6/19/2008 3:13:14 PM   
subeos


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		This will be the last time i post here on this subject anyway. i was here to vent and someone got their feelings hurt. But, i want to thank everyone for their thoughts and opinions that and other things alone helped me really make a choice. Cool.... i feel better and my profile is up and running to anyone who wants to view.
BTW- it was never meant to hurt anyone, but sometimes ppl read things differently then the purpose they are written!
slave eos

(in reply to subeos)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Underconsideration - 6/19/2008 10:13:15 PM   
underXyourXhand


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/15/2008
Status: offline 		I  tried to look around as well for the difference between a submissive and a slave and I have come to this conclusion.  talk to the master about it.  it seems everyone has their own deffinition of what is and is not expected.  I am a slave and am expected to do things my master asks of me.  but i know that if i was ever uncomfortable with something he asked me to do and i had 2 VALID reasons why I am allowed to voice my opinion.  I asked my master while we were trying to figure out what I was, if i was to become a slave instead of a submissive (which is what i was calling myself)  would it change our interaction, would it change us.  ask your master that and see what else would be expected of you if you were to "upgrade" to a slave.  because everyone has their own say it seems and that way there will be no misunderstandings.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Underconsideration - 6/23/2008 5:40:14 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If she doesn't have any experience, then of course she can't agree to do whatever he wants because she hasn't discovered her limits yet. She ought to be going slowly.

Sounds like he wants you for immediate gratification and hard play and her for a relationship. Is that something you're up for?

That may be what it sounds like to you but do you know enough about the situation to even make that claim?only one poster so far has even asked a question to find out..every other has ran straight to opinions ..wouldn't it be more responsible to ask questions before making calls?

And yet your previous post ends with the words "my opinion.".
 
Celeste isn't entitled to hers?  And everyone else? 
 
Are not Forums the place for opinions per se'? 
 
Are we not entitled to think the OP has given all the information initially relevant to them?
 
What makes you arbiter of all that's relevant in response?
 
Yes, we can ask questions (like I am now), just as the OP can respond to the replies.  When they don't, it's reasonable to assume they're getting what was sought....
 
Just my opinion.
 
Focus.

absolutely, anyone who wants to post on this forum is "entitled" to.only thing i say about it is be smart enough to not make assumptions that you have everything you need to know to give a good answer..i guess if you want to be irresponsible, it's of course up to you.
"in my opinion :)"
as for what makes me arbiter?well i do of course :)....silly question don't ya think?one might say the very think about you jumping in to set someone straight...again just my opinion..i've been away from the pc for a bit or i would've kept up with ya.have a good one.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 6/23/2008 5:41:22 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Underconsideration - 6/27/2008 9:32:24 PM   
mypain56


Posts: 84
Joined: 11/5/2007
Status: offline 		OP: I have been under " consideration" for almost 8 months now although my Daddy is not into the poly dynamic. He is very serious about the various stages His prospective submissive must study, and learn about the world we live in.  He is very old school, I did recently ask permission to speak freely about the idea of being released from"consideration" and move to the next level. He has expressed His love for me and I for Him. So with that said I felt ready to ask this question..... Especially since my birthday is next month..... Great b-day present!!!
 
 DADDY SAID HE'D THINK ABOUT AND GET BACK WITH ME ??????
Good things come in time find someone who will be worthy of you not the other way around.. Your submission is a gift to be cherish always remember that.
 
Daddy's cum slut - 654-049-049

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Underconsideration - 6/28/2008 6:34:33 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

she and i talk about it on myspace, but it seems difficult. she said she had a concernt that i was straight. i have told her i was bi curious. she said, he and ( she calls him by his first name) her have always talked about if it became poly that it would be with a bisexual women. Being a new little sub (her) she is very needy and i remember being that way as well. But, i am feeling left out and plans that they are making i guess i am just finding out.
My question is. Is there a difference bettween a Sub and a slave? Because when she asks me questions i just tell her i will do what Sir wants. she does not seem to get that. Any feedback would be welcomed.
slave eos


She is the primary in their relationship ,  you are only being considered...she has been given a say in who  the third in their relationship will be because her comfort factor/needs  is obviously important to him, so she is given the opportunity to interview and get to know you  to co-decide whether you should become a third in their relationship....so only normal at this point for you to be left out of the planning ..because she is the primary in some ways you will also be submitting to her ...not just him

So I would say it is you that is not getting it


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to subeos)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Underconsideration - 6/28/2008 10:52:18 AM   
MsValentine


Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline 		I will answer the one bit of your post which is my big rant zone....the difference between sub and slave.

There is only ONE required difference between a sub and a slave, all else is up to the individuals involved in any given relationship.

That difference is OWNERSHIP. A slave is a submissive person who is owned by another. They have agreed to that ownership and become owned property.

Practically in all everyday matters, a sub may act just as a slave might. They can be as totally committed to their Dom/me as a slave is to their owner. They can work just as hard to please and be subject to just as many rules. They may operate with limits or in the case of my own sub, with no limits. However, a sub remains a free person, able to leave the relationship if they wish. A slave is owned property and cannot leave the relationship unless released by their owner.

There, now that wasn't too difficult, was it?

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Underconsideration - 6/28/2008 1:48:09 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsValentine
However, a sub remains a free person, able to leave the relationship if they wish. A slave is owned property and cannot leave the relationship unless released by their owner.  There, now that wasn't too difficult, was it?


You neglected to mention that was YOUR opinion and YOUR definition only, and not accepted by the general masses or even understood to be true by the general masses.

The truth of the matter is that anyone can leave another person any time they wish.  Some choose not to, but that is still their choice.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MsValentine)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Underconsideration - 6/28/2008 3:45:44 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsValentine

However, a sub remains a free person, able to leave the relationship if they wish. A slave is owned property and cannot leave the relationship unless released by their owner.

There, now that wasn't too difficult, was it?



shocking as this is .. I am about to agree with Cali (it had to happen sometime .. statistically if for no other reason )

Anybody, anywhere has the ability to leave a relationship ... be they slave .. sub .. bottom .. whatever. ... People(for whatever reason) choose to ignore that reality and pretend that for them it is otherwise. They create the reality where they are trapped for themselves - when in fact there is no such reality.

My relationship would be over if I took my collar off. That is the act that would signify it ending. My Owner hasn't done some mind meld on me that means I can't remove it ... I wont short circuit as I reach for the key. Likewise ... I wouldn't be retained by some invisible force field if I tried to leave the house without being offically released.

We live by the definitions and in the context that we create for ourselves ... but I just had to step in there and say that the ability to leave under your own will is not something I would ever use as a self defining feature of slavery.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to MsValentine)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Underconsideration - 6/29/2008 8:36:23 AM   
MetalCouple


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/26/2008
Status: offline 		If he's been with one person for three months and there are these problems, run away. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Underconsideration - 6/29/2008 8:49:01 AM   
lostsubhelpme


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		i have a question..about consideration..can the sub be asked to be put under consideration..or is it left of to the master....pls help me understand...

(in reply to MetalCouple)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Underconsideration - 6/29/2008 8:51:01 AM   
lostsubhelpme


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		can a sub ask a Master for consideration...or is it Masters decision..

(in reply to goodpet)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Underconsideration - 6/29/2008 8:51:47 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

A slave is owned property and cannot leave the relationship unless released by their owner.


Actually they can.  If they are forced to remain they can contact the law.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Underconsideration - 6/29/2008 8:52:59 AM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lostsubhelpme

i have a question..about consideration..can the sub be asked to be put under consideration..or is it left of to the master....pls help me understand...
  Yes, certainly the sub may ask.  You may say "Mistress, may I be considered for service to you?" or "Mistress, I would like for you to consider me for service."  It really comes down to good, open communication about what each of you has in mind for the relationship as it develops.  It really isn't quite as formal as it sounds.

< Message edited by Racquelle -- 6/29/2008 9:10:57 AM >

(in reply to lostsubhelpme)
Profile   Post #: 40
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