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meeting a Domme - 6/11/2008 2:58:08 AM

azsearch

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Hello,

I recently joined this site and posted my profile. I have had submissive desires since just before puberty. I was previously married to an awsome Lady whom I loved deeply and passionately. She has since passed away. When I first got married I supressed my submissive desires but they are just too powerful. I confessed those desires to my wife about ten years into our marriage. She listened intently and agreed to "play" with me in the bedroom, but I really needed more than the physical aspects of a femdom relationship. I longed to feel that I truly belonged to my wife and that she saw me as her slave. I want the next serious relationship I am in to be with a real life Domme who wants a 24/7 long term relationship with a slave. I am not just trying to fulfill a fantasy here. Yes, the physical aspects of a Femdom relationship are intense, but for me the emotional aspect of such a relationship is what I crave as well. To me, wearing a Mistress' collar is as intensely symbolic and carries the same level of commitment as wearing her wedding ring. I long to passionately love and serve a woman who sees me as her slave 24/7 but also shares a vanilla relationship with me outside of the home. I really don't know the best way to meet such a Lady. I'm sure you Ladies have been asked this zillions of times, but I would like to know how/where I can meet such a Domme. What can I do to increase those chances? Thank you. Alex

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RE: meeting a Domme - 6/11/2008 3:38:56 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Find groups in your area and get offline... when you are online, keep reading here -- in this forum alone there is likely a post like this at least once week if not more... take a look back

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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to azsearch)

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RE: meeting a Domme - 6/11/2008 5:29:04 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Also, be aware that variations of "I loved a Mistress but she died so now I'm looking" is probably the #1 online scammer-wanker tactic to elicit sympathy. It's a shame, because there really are people in that situation, but I think the way you wrote that will concern some people. Sorry for your loss.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)

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RE: meeting a Domme - 6/11/2008 5:34:23 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

They move to London too... or they had such an amazing and wonderful relationship but ... she moved away for work and simply released the submissive...

Top three.. I think...

anyway, I apologize for making light of such a thing.. but it does get old... maybe its not something you need to reveal right away... there's a great post from pixelslave about allowing something to unfold -- the back and forth with a Mistress.. I'd suggest you read that advice.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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Post #: 4

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/11/2008 6:29:59 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

the cynics are out in force today.

(in reply to Madame4a)

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RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 2:37:42 AM

azsearch

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

OUCH!! It never occurred to me. I wasn't tyring to get any sympathy from anyone. I was just trying to be as informative as I could and explain why I'm no longer married. In reviewing my profile, I thought my focus was not on the fact that I'm a widower, but that during my marriage I longed for a more intense and serious lifestyle relationship. My ultimate goal is to arrange my profile in such a way as to optimized my chances of attracting the Domme I am seeking. Any other suggestions for alterations would be much appreciated. Thanks.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 6

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 4:39:30 AM

MissEnchanted

Posts: 510
Status: offline

If you get out there to your local groups and make some BDSM friends. They will know people who know people...

It takes courage and persistence.

Persistence is the key.

ME

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RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 5:38:13 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I would leave the stuff about your wife out of your profile (if its there) -- its something you let someone know when it comes up and when you get to know them...

I hate to say this, but just this morning I was reading a profile and said "oh yeah... that's it, the dead wife" ... I'm skeptical of that one, particularly because there was also a lot of stuff about discretion and days and weeknights in the profile.

Its just something to keep in mind...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to azsearch)

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Post #: 8

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 5:43:31 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I would leave the stuff about your wife out of your profile (if its there) -- its something you let someone know when it comes up and when you get to know them...

I hate to say this, but just this morning I was reading a profile and said "oh yeah... that's it, the dead wife" ... I'm skeptical of that one, particularly because there was also a lot of stuff about discretion and days and weeknights in the profile.

Its just something to keep in mind...

Got the "Red Flag Finder" set on high today do you?

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to Madame4a)

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RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 7:17:43 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

No, I just think I've hit that point where my skepticism is yelling louder than my hormones... heh...probably a good thing...

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I would leave the stuff about your wife out of your profile (if its there) -- its something you let someone know when it comes up and when you get to know them...

I hate to say this, but just this morning I was reading a profile and said "oh yeah... that's it, the dead wife" ... I'm skeptical of that one, particularly because there was also a lot of stuff about discretion and days and weeknights in the profile.

Its just something to keep in mind...

Got the "Red Flag Finder" set on high today do you?

- pixel

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to pixelslave)

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Post #: 10

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 7:05:27 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

I moved to a city where local groups were...

Went to a munch....saw someone that perked my interest...

Walked up, started a converstaion and looked her in the eyes and...said...

Hurt me, please.....

Its really NOT that hard...

Look around you....

Oh...and believe me...she...did.

(in reply to Madame4a)

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Post #: 11

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/12/2008 10:30:00 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Here's your local dungeon.

http://arizonapowerexchange.org/home.html

It's a nice space and there's a party tomorrow night (it's a private function, but open to the kink public).

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Post #: 12

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/13/2008 2:41:05 AM

azsearch

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Thank you all for your suggestions. I have edited my profile. Master Fire, you were kind enough to include a link to the local scene in the Phoenix area. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated however, I am in the process of moving to Colorado.

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Post #: 13

RE: meeting a Domme - 6/13/2008 10:32:50 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

The Colorado Community is quite large as well . Make plans to attend thunder in the mountains , comming up this july !! does not matter where you go there is bdsm community out there you just have to do the work and find it .Its not always right in your backyard , you may have to spend some gas and time for travel but its there if you want it .And if after you had an exhausted search and can not find any community , well then start one .

quote:

ORIGINAL: azsearch

Thank you all for your suggestions. I have edited my profile. Master Fire, you were kind enough to include a link to the local scene in the Phoenix area. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated however, I am in the process of moving to Colorado.

(in reply to azsearch)

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Post #: 14