RE: Time Away...

RE: Time Away... (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Time Away...

1-3 days

29% (8)

4-7 days

7% (2)

1 week

11% (3)

2 weeks

0% (0)

1 month

0% (0)

Yes

7% (2)

O days. 1-3 hours, fine but 0 days

37% (10)

Total Votes : 27

(last vote on : 6/13/2008 1:43:48 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

BBWnNC72 -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 7:53:44 PM)
i talk to my Dominant every day, see Him almost every day, with the exception of most Saturdays and Sundays because i work 7am to 11pm both days. But alot of the time He will come see me when i get off work. He does live next door.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 9:04:56 PM)
Well it appears by the poll that most do not see a great amount of time passing before lines of communication need to be pursued.And frankly I agree that any distancing for periods of time are a huge mistake, non verbal interaction or no interaction greater than 24 hours only encourages negative results..it creates resentment, distrust,and walls being built that may be very difficult to break through.Loss of communication, without explanation of reasonable proportions will see me distancing myself further and further from the relationship and him...(and as Nancy Sinatra once sang....come on boots lets start walking!)...Tempting

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 9:09:26 PM)
For me most of the time there is no contact is when it is not possible. I dont believe that refusing contact becasue of an infraction is a good idea for punishment, however depending on the severity of that infraction I have occasionally had to withdraw until I have cooled off. If I get angry, I do not want to deal with someone especially someone I am going to punish. I find it far better for the relationship if I back off and cool down than if I force myself to keep up our "normal" communication. The boys are allowed to step back when necessary too, and Angel has done so several times. I dont see it as neglectful at all, just sanity restoration. Everyone needs some time to themselves on occasion. DV

JulieorSarah -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 12:33:33 AM)
it's the proverbial ... how long is a piece of string ... Depends! as an overview i said 1-3 days if the relationship is going well it would not be uncommon for a break of 1-3 days due to life just happening. if there has been a glitch or mis-understanding, no more than one sleep (to allow either or both parties) to regain perspective ... then both sides should air the differences and a resolution should be sought.

JulieorSarah -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 12:34:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 The reason for keeping slaves is interaction.....sometimes I like to hear her speak...other times I like to hear her scream. Why would I deny myself? omg ...

everhope -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 1:32:28 AM)
daily communication is necessary for me to feel connected. my work schedule as been known to be really crazy...doubles..night shifts flipped to days to even PM shifts....i have never found it difficult to steal a few minutes out of a day/night to connect with another. even more important, if there have been misunderstandings to show a desire to work through them. silence is a form of communication and unless told that the other needs some reflection/cooling off time, i take it as they have no interest in making the relationship work. may we all find our bliss.

DesFIP -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 5:22:28 AM)
I don't consider pulling back to be nonverbal interaction. I think of it as no interaction. Around here? Overnight. If I can't think straight because of the emotions, then I need to sleep on it. Plus by then I'm so tired out by the argument/weeping/whatever that I have a headache and am exhausted. Don't keep picking on me, do let me take two aspirin/advil/tylenol/shots of vodka and crash while he holds me. We find that stopping talking and just falling asleep together with lots of skin contact is very helpful. Some point the next morning I will find the words needed to explain how I feel. Let me get to that point.

sirsholly -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 11:30:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx Yep. Me too. If more people would realize that I need to be left alone when I ask for it, HM wouldn't get so many black eyes. I'm just sayin' mental image of Blushy...all of 5 feet tall...taking a pop at HM [sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]

CreativeDominant -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 12:12:09 PM)
I want to take the time to thank all who've answered so far. I appreciate it and I hope others who've wondered this sort of thing in the past or are maybe even wondering about it now can get some help in clarifying things in their own minds. As I stated in my original post...I can understand that there are those times when you "need space" and maybe do not want to talk so you use email instead. At a certain point though, email and other forms of non-verbal interaction cannot do what verbal communication can...and that is allow for back and forth, even if it is heated back and forth. I admit that I have an issue with sitting back and reflecting for too long...up to a point I can see it but at what point do you look at your reflections and realize that you are becoming more and more "down" on another person because the only thoughts you are thinking are your own? And let's face it, you are going to agree with you in most instances.

Kalista07 -> RE: Time Away... (6/12/2008 7:07:16 PM)
CD, Well in my situation i'd say 0 days, because we live together....And if He were to just not come home i'd be PAF (pissed as fuck)...... Plus i'd be worried and all that other shit. But, it's not like Him to behave that way. Not speaking because of anger?? Hell i try and do that all the time, but the trick for me is i seriously need to just go in the other room and lay down, because if i sit here and look at Him i will replay it all in my mind.... And eventually i'll do or say something i'll feel sorry for later. So, i try and just keep my mouth shut until i can talk about it rationally. Which in all honesty has only happened a handful of times in the five months i've been here. However this topic does remind me of a favorite phrases of mine, "The Silence is deafening" Kali

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