Runaway slaves and the dance of lies

Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Marquise -> Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 7:56:48 AM)
Runaway slaves... a sad thing. So, let me rant a little. There is a bond between a slave and his owner. For me it is not love, not the romantic relationship, but the bond is there. Something strong, forming, build upon trust and giving oneself, upon being accepted and shaped slowly. It is a long way, the bond is very fragile at the very start and grows stronger with time... Some do not understand this. Some seek instant pleasure, a quick orgasm and can not pass the simplest trials. A pity for a slave, a pity for the mistress who took care and time to find a way how to mold and rule over the slave... who wasted her time and energy. A pity for me, because that happened to me. Internet is a big anonymous dungeon, a dance of masks while some wear mask close to their real appearance, or a mask of the soul, and some hide themselves behind masks of something they would like to be. Unfortunately for the second group of dancers and their dance partners, the time when all masks have to be taken down in a gesture of trust and real servitude comes one day. And they flee. Delete all traces, found new identities, new masks. If you are one of them, please, spare the sincere ones of us the frustration of seeing you run away and just find someone who wants to play the game of lies and masks with you. Till another dawn, till another end of the ball. Sincere dommes, sincere slaves. For us in the lifestyle, this all is not a play, not a nice fantasy that helps to get instant pleasure. It are our needs, wishes and part of our minds and souls. When we choose someone, we have a reason... it is a pity and pain to see such one run away because he gets scared of real life meeting or a phonecall or decides "I have been a slave for 3 weeks, I am not anymore, I am completely vanilla now". Not everyone matches, not every relationship works. But a reason should be given, goodbye should be said. We can understand, we are not monsters that will eat you when you realise you need something different. But do not play with us. Even dominants can be hurt. Thank you for reading. [:)] Marquise Kira Arael

BrianTucson -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:12:14 AM)
quote: Till another dawn, till another end of the ball. Marquise Kira Arael It's obvious that someone has wasted your time, and I'm very sorry that they did that to you. These are just my thoughts, but, do you think that the romance novel language and the title and the name might help make this more of a fantasy, kind of a story time, to the people that you're spending your time with? Maybe if they thought of you as a real person they might think of your time together, and your investment in them, as something more substantial. You can call yourself whatever you like, use whatever kind of language makes you feel more secure in your role. But, if your name was Vanessa, and you spoke standard English, I for one would consider you more of a peer and less of an actress in a very bad melodrama. And the submissives might too.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:13:38 AM)
A fairly tame and well-spoken rant all told. Yes, it's the great thing to have that "it's over" talk. But most of us really suck at it. And sometimes relationships do just "drift." I'd only add that a lot of us DO enjoy playing, a lot of us CAN get a quick fun orgasm and scene and have a great time without having the pretense of master/slave. I dislike the constantly degradation of "just play." However, this only works if everyone is honest that they just want play. On the other hand, it's also the dominants responsiblity to take the time to get to know their slaves character and mettle BEFORE committing to them. I think it's a very rare occasion when the dom truly takes the time to commit that a slave simply disappears. Novices, both doms and subs, are still floundering about and getting their expectations to match up with reality. It's a VERY common thing to think they want something, only to find out it's not really at all what works, and they simply scrub out the past few weeks, restart with a new name and see what happens. Running in the face of overwhelming is common. In the end we just do what works best for us.

WayHome -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:17:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marquise Internet is a big anonymous dungeon, a dance of masks while some wear mask close to their real appearance, or a mask of the soul, and some hide themselves behind masks of something they would like to be. Unfortunately for the second group of dancers and their dance partners, the time when all masks have to be taken down in a gesture of trust and real servitude comes one day. And they flee. Delete all traces, found new identities, new masks. That's a great paragraph! I might be using that phrase "dance of masks" in the future. But then, can someone really be a "runnaway slave" in such a dance? Is it not true that in such a place "sincerity" and the expectation of truth is simply foolish? The internet might be a fine tool for helping like-minded folks to find one-another but it is no place to carry on an honest relationship. My advice is not to invest too much of your heart or energy into someone that is only a mask in the ether. Leto

darkinshadows -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:18:25 AM)
I do not see how a name can change who people are. If m'Lady had eanted to call herself Bob, what would it matter? Some people cannot afford to use their real name - and after all, this is a website - she may just use a pseudo here. I fail to see how relevant a name is in response to Her comments. You are judging a name above the person, not her and its just a website. Besides, some people have a personality that exudes in certain situations of play - it isnt up to you to fault it. Do not like it - then pass it by... (Sorry for hijacking the OP - hmmm... I feel a new thread coming on....lol) Peace and Love

Oberonrex -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:23:05 AM)
Well said! And I, for one, love the language.

BrianTucson -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:33:54 AM)
quote: Some people cannot afford to use their real name - and after all, this is a website - she may just use a pseudo here. I fail to see how relevant a name is in response to Her comments. You are judging a name above the person, not her and its just a website. A silly hat is a silly hat. You can rock back and forth thinking of all the reasons in the word for wearing it. It doesn't change the fact that it's a hat. Or make it any less silly. It was only a suggestion, and my opinion. If it offended you. Good.

Marquise -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:37:38 AM)
I tend to use a little too "noble" way of expressing myself when I am in mood for it... which is most of the time and my guys are used to it. But being frown upon because of my name, that really happened the first time to me. You would wonder actually... chuckles To make things clearer. Yes, I took a slave who looked very sincere but was very shy, so he wanted to start via chat and email. No phones, no webcams, no RL first. I think he had some private issues, who knows. Because of my maybe a little unusual needs as a dominant, that is not a big problem for me. It may be "not real enough" for some here, but that is not my problem. I accepted a submissive as my pupil and pet - have not collared him yet of course, but meant to. After a while of seeing how things are for my slaves, he said he wants to belong to me. My ideal is serfdom or the roman slavery. I am very much into mental dominance, the physical part is not so important to me. He ran away. One can await this on the internet, yes, but since this guy seemed to be very sincere and promising, I was very upset for a while. Thus this rant. So, let me be melodramatic when I am in mood for it. [:)]

BrianTucson -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:40:11 AM)
Marquise, that is certainly your right and if it works for you I think it's wonderful. With profound respect and best wishes, Brian.

petwolf22 -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:45:48 AM)
if ya want to be picky about it, "luckyalbatross" is kind of a silly name (not that it matters to me). People come up with all kinds of names on here, what difference does that make?

BrianTucson -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:51:58 AM)
I didn't want you to think you were being ignored. Please refer to my original statement. I could use different words, but I would be saying the same thing.

petwolf22 -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:58:35 AM)
wasn't saying anything about the op's topic, just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with a "silly" or just plain different hat.

Quivver -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 8:59:02 AM)
We all wear a Mask to some extent. Not always one we are aware of with the ability to take off or wear at random. The Mask you speak of could simply be a difference in style, presentation, or perception. It's possible, even more likely probable, that no deception was mean only different roads that led to the same center were taken. Then again it appears all this transpired online, if that is the case i personally feel your taking this much too seriously. Q

petwolf22 -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 9:00:42 AM)
we've got silly hats and masks...what's the rest of the costume consist of?

JohnWarren -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 10:02:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marquise . My ideal is serfdom or the roman slavery. I am very much into mental dominance, the physical part is not so important to me. That's mental? It certainly doesn't jive with what I know of the Roman use of slaves. Mostly they were considered what we would call "animate machinery." No one gave a shit what they were thinking or how submissive they felt. As long as they did their jobs they were effectively invisible. Of course, any rebellion or deviation was promptly punished, but we could see that as "troubleshooting malfunctioning machinery." I'll defer to Tammyjo since she knows a lot more about historical slavery than I

Wolfie648 -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 10:03:12 AM)
quote: To make things clearer. Yes, I took a slave who looked very sincere but was very shy, so he wanted to start via chat and email. No phones, no webcams, no RL first. I think he had some private issues, who knows. Because of my maybe a little unusual needs as a dominant, that is not a big problem for me. It may be "not real enough" for some here, but that is not my problem. Call me paranoid but I think that any potential sub/slave would be unnecessarily exposing themselves to possible harm to give away phone numbers, meet in real life, not sure about security issues with webcam, right away. Now I can't specify any 'set amounts' of time before doing so but I would suggest to _any_ submissive or slave or dom even that they feel 100% comfortable before doing or giving any information that gives someone else an actual means of tracking you down. You will know when that time is and if your dom asks for it and you hesitate before giving it out, I'd recommend that, very respectfully, decline for the time being. What does that leave us with but anonomous e-mail and messenger services? Certainly not forever (unless that's what they are looking for), but not to start with. D (owner of j) (I realise that you are willing to do the cyber thing, just thought it was a good perspective to get out there)

Marquise -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 10:11:46 AM)
That is why I was ok with the "online relationship" for a while. Actually, I am into distance ownership so or so. And things like Skype do exist, do they not? When one decides one wants to have me call them, obeys nicely and all and then disappears, that can be a little frustrating. Of course I am no fool who will meet the first guy she meets for "private lesson". Actually, even doms have to be careful these days, not just subs. But still, I have few great boys. Kudos to them and to all real subs and doms around here! [:)] Marquise

darkinshadows -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 10:16:25 AM)
LoL Brian, amused at your thoughts, not offended - you don't have that power. But thanks for an interesting thought... there is more to come.[;)] Peace and Love

orfunboi -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 10:21:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petwolf22 we've got silly hats and masks...what's the rest of the costume consist of? Hopefully leather and chains.....

Larry862 -> RE: Runaway slaves and the dance of lies (10/31/2005 11:13:47 AM)
I totally understand your frustration. Very similiar thing has happened to me. From a slave that had served me for over a year. The circumstances were perhaps a little different in that she was married, but both the husband and her requested that I be her Master. She served wonderfully and then just quit, took her collar off and quit serving me. Thats was over a year ago now... she has chatted with me off and on saying she still wants to serve me but that her husband also wants to Dom her now. She states how much she misses me and our time. As much as I was frustrated by her leaving the truth of life is there is nothing that can be done when a slave/sub decides to leave. Then yes there are those that lead a person on, you feel a connection and when the time comes to actually meet person to person they vanish. I chalk those people up to the its a fanatasy only people. A person has to let that shit roll off the cuff. What else can a person do? stay frustrated over something you can not change or have control over? Just my two cents on it.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.785156E-02