ominousdominus
Posts: 445
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline
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Due to product liability litigation as a result from recent events that occurred during "Bike Week" in Daytona Beach FL, the American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers-
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem
to literally disappear.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
_____________________________
Caution: frequently an asshole and suffers from a personality akin to a wolverine on PCP.-
Prolific Profile Perver-
Your Safety word is.......Kvennafræðarin
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New warning labels on alchohol... - 
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