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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 2:23:10 AM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
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i have the opposite problem. i'm a straight female submissive. Recently i dated a switch and felt a very strong sexual attraction to Him. Enjoyed His company. Etc.

Sounds promising, doesn't it? Well, after a frank conversation about His needs as a bottom, i realised W/we could not make it work. i can never give Him all He wants and needs. W/we ended by agreeing to be F/friends.

i wish You every happiness in this area of Your life.

pinksugarsub

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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 3:03:02 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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If you are looking for a consensus, I say switch.

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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 3:22:09 AM

adorableisotope

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/10/2008
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Classical solution: Go poly. Get your master, get your sub. Everyone is happy.

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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 6:15:53 AM

wanderingstray

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/11/2008
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Here's what you do: when you're dominant, be whatever you want and don't even worry about what to call yourself; when you're submissive take whatever label is given you, and like it. Just try to keep the dom and sub episodes from lasting any less than an hour a piece or you will confuse other people irreparably. The tricky part is, you'll need two partners, who both will switch roles. You need two because when you switch you will leave one high and dry, as they will not be ready to switch. That leaves you the other one who was waiting for their turn and is already whatever you're suddenly not. Back and forth between the two you go, always one to fall in step and one to leave behind.

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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 12:12:22 PM

PerplexedCouple

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/6/2008
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Hello all. Very interesting points. Both my wife and I are new to the lifestyle, and I have actually only been on the site for a few weeks. So, of course I have not been able to read enough to fully learn.

Interestingly enough what started out with my wife being the sub has now changed. Like in many instances (I like to be very much in control but she is way to passive) I make all the lead choices. But, she seems to have enjoyed taking the whip and take the lead. Now, we are in the process of learning our new roles.

Any book suggestions, or web site recommendations would be greatfully appreciated.

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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 12:29:27 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
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I don't see anything "traditional" when it comes to switching. some people are dom with one person but sub to another. other people "switch" back and forth with the same partner... other people "fight" with their partner to see who will be on "top" for that moment

it all depends on the people involved and the dynamic between them.

My girlfriend is quite dominant when it comes to the people she Plays with. the only two exceptions are her master, and me. she is collared to her master and she and I are both dom(equals)

She is 100% Dom when it comes to her play partners and she is 100% Slave when it comes to her Master. while we like Rough/primal sex We are 100% neutral.
so she gets the best of all three... where you are only looking for the best of two.

good luck
Skully

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Post #: 26

RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 12:35:24 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

there are as many paths in this lifestyle as there are people to walk them. enjoy you feel, enjoy what you do, I would delete one of the profiles, make one as a switch and say what you are looking for. you present yourself as a sub/slave in a profile, not as a switch, you may get a Dom that does not want his girl to dominate someone else. If a Dom actually reads a switch profile he will know what he is getting into.

Thank you to all... I don't really believe that the way I am is called a switch though. Because I'm extreme to one side or the other. There is no in between and no power exchange involved.
In fact I find it difficult to think that I would match well with another switch.. as my partner would have to be all one way or all the other.. and with a switch he'd have to be both, yet I have yet to meet any like that and I worry about conflicts....
your thoughts are making me consider things though in a way I hadn't considered...

If you pop over the the Ask A Switch section or just chat with some of us that are all over this site you'll find that by the unofficial surveys and most people's statements, that the way you describe yourself is the more common type of switch... at least around those who visit here (and those in my personal experience, but that doesn't help you as more than hearsay). It's very common, if not the majority as I just mentioned, for switches to be one way with one person/relationship, the other way with another, rather than switching within a single relationship.

There are a lot who *do* switch with the same person or in a certain relationship, but that's not the sole manner of a switch by any means.

And as others have said, also, what you're describing desiring a sort of chain of power exchange (a dominant for you, you dominant to another) is pretty common, too. If you just keep yourself open and let potentials know what you're looking for, you'll likely find it.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 6/12/2008 12:38:59 PM >

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Post #: 27

RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 12:35:56 PM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

there are as many paths in this lifestyle as there are people to walk them. enjoy you feel, enjoy what you do, I would delete one of the profiles, make one as a switch and say what you are looking for. you present yourself as a sub/slave in a profile, not as a switch, you may get a Dom that does not want his girl to dominate someone else. If a Dom actually reads a switch profile he will know what he is getting into.

Thank you to all... I don't really believe that the way I am is called a switch though. Because I'm extreme to one side or the other. There is no in between and no power exchange involved.
In fact I find it difficult to think that I would match well with another switch.. as my partner would have to be all one way or all the other.. and with a switch he'd have to be both, yet I have yet to meet any like that and I worry about conflicts....
your thoughts are making me consider things though in a way I hadn't considered...

If a Dom actually reads? lol good one. I don't think many guys in general don't know how to do that from my observations here... And a handful of women and couples as well...

Okay Mixedup80, obviously your being snarky and want a spanking, some Masters can read.

It sounds like your going thru a personality crisis, and suffer from a mental disorder. Extremism isn't all that healthy. If you want to get mind fucked, I'd be happy to take you on a joyride. ;0 I think you're paradox problem is that you should seek professional help. I'm willing to get paid by the hour. Please wait until the pilot turns off no smoking signs before you exit the plane! The smoking sign never turns off. Do you stay on the plane and die of starvation?

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RE: What Am I? - 6/12/2008 12:47:45 PM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
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you missed certain cues. She's looking for some sort of monogomy and children. I don't know why everyone on here takes for granted that she is willing to accept an open relationship.....

Surprisingly, there are still people out there who want a monogomous yet BDSM lifestyle.

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Post #: 29