Is it really hopeless?

Is it really hopeless? (Full Version)

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cutekansasswitch -> Is it really hopeless? (6/11/2008 9:22:40 PM)
My man has E.D. He has no problem getting an erection. He just can't seem to keep an erection until he ejaculates. Sex lasts less than 5 minutes before he loses his erection. He's had this problem ever since he was a teenager, long before he ever engaged in CBT. He has only been with one other woman and had the same problem when he was with her. Apparently he never saw lack of erection as an issue since he was able to ejaculate without an erection when masturbating. Since neither of us has health insurance, I thought a cock ring would be the perfect solution. I heard that once a guy gets an erection, putting on a cock ring will keep him that way.....that a man can't go soft when wearing a cock ring. We tried it and it didn't work. I can't understand it. I thought cock rings always worked. Have any of you ever heard of and/or experienced a cock ring failing to keeping an erect man erect? What percentage of the time do cock rings fail to keep an erect penis hard?Does anyone know of anything else that works without shelling out hundreds of dollars for doctor appointments?

RedMagic1 -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/11/2008 9:26:42 PM)
Q: I've heard erectile dysfunction can be helped with a sexual device called a "cock ring." What is this? A: A "cock ring" is a stretchable rubber band that fits tightly around the base of an erect penis, to prevent blood from leaving and to prolong an erection. These constrictive bands are similar to the bands used with mechanical suction devices. They can help some men, but it is important not to leave the band in place for more than 30 minutes. "Cock rings" are sold in stores that carry sexual paraphernalia. source: http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/impotence/ED_faq.html

Real_Trouble -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/11/2008 9:31:31 PM)
Viagra: for problems that are difficult, but not hard. ... Sorry, I had to.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/11/2008 9:37:04 PM)
One or two doctors appts and some basic tests does not equate to hundreds of dollars- given that he's always been this way and can orgasm without it, it could be anything from a physical thing or simply how he's trained his body and will need lots of focused retraining.

JulieorSarah -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/12/2008 1:26:32 AM)
i was with a man (it was a vanilla relationship) who was told after botched surgery (they cut his perineum) that he'd never have a full erection again. He too could ejacutlate without an erection, and fathered a child after the operation and some years before we met ... we found a kind of solution, while the cause is unlikely to be the same ... maybe the solution will transfer to your situation. One day i was giving him oral and we lost track of time and had to go out ... before he had a chance to cum ... the rest of the day we flirted, and teased each other ... when we returned home it was the firmest it had ever been ... we worked on that ... prolonged low level arousal seemed to improve his erection and as time went on he became more confident and sure of himself. While he never returned to the rock hard of pre op. The improvement while gradual overtime the change in his physical response overall and his mental approach was excuse the pun, HUGE! This was over some months, and i never pressured him or made him feel any less of a man/human being. While you explore this ... do try a doctor, maybe a practice that has a focus in ED or fertility ... when a couple are having problems conceiving, the male is checked out first as the reproductive system in the male is much simpler and easier to fix than the female. I could be something quite simple, and if it's not wouldn't it be better to know ?

DomAviator -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/12/2008 2:09:45 AM)
Ok I am sure this is going to cause a thermonuclear explosion - but I am being sincere. Are you, or more importantly is he, certain that he is not homosexual? If a man can gain an erection but loses it during sex he doesnt have a physical problem like the bloodflow issues solved by vitamin V. I mean not to be a smart ass, but if he can masturbate to completion- he might be thinking about some tight assed little guy named Chad kneeling in front of him... I had a similar issue towards the end of my second marriage, if I was having sex with her it was because I was mentally fucking somebody else. If I snapped back to reality and thought Oh, this is Laura not Elisabeth Shue it went as limp as an overcooked linguini. (For the record I do not have an erectile dysfunction - I am practically priaprismic and can get it up any time any place if the wind blows right. However- I was just so turned off by her, and being in her presence, and I so loathed, detested, and despised her that I simply performed only so as not to hear her bitch if I didnt and not to give her grounds for divorce using "constructive abandonment" - ie my lawyer advised me to keep throwing her the token fuck until we got the grounds we needed to file. In terms of an erectile dysfunction - I would fuck Laura once a month if I could drag it out that long and jerk off four times a day.. LOL As soon as I filed for divorce, and was hence "legally separated" I flew to Vegas and hired three escorts for the whole weekend. (which I might add was cheaper than dealing with her and her Gucci, and her Louis Vuitton, and her BMW etc... LOL) I had no problems with them and literally fucked till my dick hurt and I was "dry ejaculating" ie cumming with nothing coming out cause my balls were dry! Since your man has had these issues with both of the women he has had sex with, its clearly not you. However, two women is an EXTREMELY low number. I think like the national average is something like 7 sexual partners before you graduate highschool. Back in the Navy we aspired to be an "Ass Ace" meaning five women that weekend!) I find myself wondering if he a) hasn't been trying very hard to get pussy - perhaps just enough to convince himself hes not gay and b) been having psychological issues because the person he is having sex with isn't what turns him on - ie plumbed wrong. Perhaps one of the gay men or T-Girls can comment on this? Did you have any problems with maintaining an erection during sex with women before you came out or came to realize your gender issues?

pahunkboy -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/12/2008 4:22:18 AM)
...it could be high blood pressure or prostate. try not having sex. -start to with the plan to stop after 20 push-ups.

sub4hire -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/12/2008 7:52:40 AM)
Like the others have said...he needs to get checked out. Once you find out it isn't physical then get his head checked out. Find a sex therapist. They can help, but you need to rule out the physical first. Unfortunately the only answer is medical doctors...maybe its time to go insurance shopping? www.ehealthinsurance.com

pixidustpet -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/12/2008 8:00:55 AM)
when i first started talking with james, my first dominant, he told me he had ED. he had difficulties achieving, much less maintaining, an erection. after we'd been seeing each other about 2 months, he had to be hospitalized for an unrelated problem, and in catheterizing him, his plumbing was damaged. after that, he not only was unable to achieve erection at all, his penis had nearly entirely inverted. (sorry if that made any gentlemen cringe...) we went on seeing one another for another 3+ years, until his death from a sudden heart attack. we were never able to have penis-in-vagina sexual relations. and it wasnt a problem. just my $.02 kitten

wanderingstray -> RE: Is it really hopeless? (6/12/2008 8:08:29 AM)
Spend a few hours doing your own research online so you understand the phsyiology of erections. (That means reading anatomy and medicine, not just watching porn.) Then if you find a particular cause, find the online support group for it. There is an online support group for everything. Then when you do go see the doctor, it will be the right kind of doctor and your money will be well spent.

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