lonewolf05
Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
*********because we humans are used to mechanical things going bad so pressing harder sometimes evokes responses.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
*****so they know YOU are paying for YOUR mistakes--it was in MY contract agreement..isn't it in yours?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
*******because sometimes we have no idea when it was painted so we check it out
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle it comes in?
****because it is sealed inside and out of the open air. if you left it open exposed it would seal up and dry out.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
*****force of habit.....?????
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
*****because at the time in era it was uncool to have beards on leading men in movies
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
*****because he trys to ensure it is not thrown at anyone else unlike bullets directly aimed vs a wild-throw?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
******so they can talk to each other. and to ensure their hearing is not lost while engaging in battle
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
****ask webster....and ask the idiot king that ordered the book written
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
*******man did not evolve FROM........he evolved like------the ape is our cousin
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
*******because it is the same ingredient in ALL bath soaps.....is all i can say...i asked aboiut this once and it was basically the answer i got in the mail.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
****having worked in a dept store of this kind--------yes!
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
****people's moods change? new ideas johnny-on-spot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
****who in holy hec would DO that? i walk my carpet like i do the yard and pick up anything i am suspicious over
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
*******????? huh????
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
********obviously it isn't sealed?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we just say, "That hurt, watch what you're doing!?"
*******even though "I" like confrontation.......Mistress says i am to start being nice to accidental people--it is more "civilized"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
*******????????
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
*****???????/ some of us like it cool inside year 'round. the thermostat is NOT set for high temps here.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
*******because it is professional-courtesy to not heckle the male half. males use real logic and females use made up fantasy "female logic" not recognized by modern science yet.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
**????/ what's a wife? and i never listened to the ones i had. it's my way or none.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you
*******possible...........but then? since i have papers to prove "I" ain't all there......----------------------
next question?
wolf
< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 11/3/2005 11:18:00 AM >
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