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my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 11:22:24 AM

chicagoleo

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

I don't think I'm very good at writing profiles, or about myself in general. I changed my profile this morning and was hoping to get some feedback. Nothing is fundamentally different, I basically just expanded and worded things differently.

I was planning to post a picture with it, but it can only be one below my face. Should I bother doing this?

If you are willing to give me your thoughts, I would be very appreciative. But please be brutally honest. If it is absolutely terrible, I would most certainly like to know.

I believe that the new text is still pending approval. So, the text is pasted below:

I'm relatively new to the lifestyle, but I've been drawn to it for years. I've read a lot about it, but this is the first time I have actively searched for others involed. I am embarking upon a career that requires some discretion, so as much as I would like to, I will not post a picture of my face on this site (I can send them, though). With that said, I would probably attend Chicago-area functions if I had someone to go with.

While I am ultimately interested in developing a femdom relationship, I am open to play partners. I am also very interested in making friends/acquaintances in the lifestyle.

Non-BDSM interests: I'm very physically active and exercise regularly. I read and write a lot. I love travel, visual arts, music and other culture. I'm social and active in the Chicago nightlife.

BDSM interests: I'm extremely turned on by bondage of all forms, discipline and pain.

I have a lot of strong fetishes, including: leather, latex, boots, feet, shoes, etc. But none of these things are necessary, they would just be nice additions.

The most essential aspect, for me, is service/submission. The act of serving/submitting to a female dominant is what this is all about for me.

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 11:25:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

A picture, as long as it's not a cock-shot or whatever, is always better than no picture at all.

As far as the rest of the profile, I think it's pretty good. You're young which counts against you, but generally I think it's a good way to start.

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 11:29:05 AM

chicagoleo

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

thanks.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 12:06:28 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I think your profile is good especially if you can add a photo where you either look happy or you look competant -- sad looking images are generally not that attractive.

I'll be the voice of the other side about age. I think 24 is in no way too young.

I got Fox when he was 19 and I've owned him for 6 years.

Maturity and readiness are not a function purely of age but of ones ability to separate fact and reality from fiction and fantasy. I've met very immature 50 somethings in the BDSM community and some well experienced and realistic folks in their undergraduate years of college.

My only advice is that since you are in Chicago you should definitely check out the local communities and scenes there -- there must be a dozen or so in the city and within an hour of it.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 12:24:17 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

I agree with the others about the photo. Better to have one than not. I like the way it reads. It's clear and concise and talks about your general interests outside of bdsm, but also gives a brief overview of your kinky interests. Organization is good. You misspelled "involved"....sorry, I am a natural-born proofer/editor...LOL.

It's one of the better profiles I have seen on this site.

Bob

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 12:31:53 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I'll be the voice of the other side about age. I think 24 is in no way too young.

I don't think 24 is too young. I'm only 25 myself.

But it does count against you in general, specially for males.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 2:58:43 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I also give it a thumbs up.

My only suggestion would to be a little more specific on the general interests like read and write, music, travel, etc. I know you probably don't want the profile to be too long but maybe a sentence telling the last or favorite place you traveled to, a specific genre for reading or music, etc. Sometimes those details can spark an interest from someone it seems.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 10/31/2005 5:11:45 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

Non-BDSM interests: I'm very physically active and exercise regularly. I read and write a lot. I love travel, visual arts, music and other culture. I'm social and active in the Chicago nightlife.

Say Brother....

I haven't looked at your profile {Something wrong with my browser}, but I would go more into depth about what you've mentioned above.

Physically fit/active is very important, but I'd be careful about trying to make a little muscle the main part of your hustle.

Best of luck to you!

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 11/1/2005 7:44:03 PM

chicagoleo

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/21/2005
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thanks to everyone for the kind words and advice. it is appreciated.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 11/3/2005 9:22:55 AM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

Looks like a pretty good profile to me, but again, the ones with pictures get noticed much more often. But as you said, you need discretion, so if you aren't going to put up a picture, at a bare minimum, make sure that you respond promptly to any inquiries that ask for one. Don't let any emails sit in your inbox too long, because then any one that had interest will think that you're just a faker.

On a side note, as I read through the thread, a few folks pointed out age, then I read the profile and saw that you are a submissive.

I have a question: I know that "younger" Doms aren't as popular as it is sometimes a misconception that a young Dom couldn't have the experience and/or maturity for the task. Is that same attitude prevalent about young submissives though, as they don't have enough years under their belt to do it right? Just a question.....

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: my profile : can someone critique it? - 11/4/2005 4:39:46 PM

LadyCompassion

Posts: 87
Joined: 11/4/2005
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I thought your profile was quite nice. You say what you are and what you want and you say it in a straight foward manner. You dont seem to be skirting around the issues and you dont seem to be trying to play games. I think that is very important.

(in reply to anopheles)

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Post #: 11