RE: Deleted Unread (Full Version)

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realisticwish -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:18:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

On an unrelated topic, I saw a FDom profile a couple days back where the introductory paragraph was something like "Stupid men get it through your head, I am looking for a girlslave! Your messages will not be read." Her profile identified her as straight. Good luck with that.


I  agree it is unrelated to the topic, however it is what caught my eye and brought me to the forum.   I am a straight Domme I like that word to me it means female so no need to add the fem to it.   I have a female slave.   I cherish and adore this girl.   Was I looking for a girl NO WAY.    We are however members of the  local scene and met as friends.   One chat and another and another.   She wanted to be spanked.   An ass is an ass but a red RED or blue and purple ass well you get the idea.   
 
For me in trying to keep an open mind and looking at all people, taking the time to get to know them you may find many things.   This task I learned later in life and it has served me well.  
 
In my answer to the deleted mail topic I agree do not let it upset you, life is far to short to worry about that when you just might be missing the one person you were supposed to meet.  
 
Get involved in your local groups, attend a munch, go to a demo, you never know who you might meet and in meeting that person it could just lead to the next person who you were supposed to meet.
 
Be safe and have fun along the way.
~J~



LordEuman -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:21:01 PM)

Ok and I agree, but the point I was making is that it is not so much that I worry about it as I do get upset at people that clain one thing but do another (LIE) but like you said, it is really no big deal, jiust a really big pet peeve. one said that that it is sometimes done out of fear or reprisal messages at being denied, I could see that (if they opened it and had made a choice) but what we are talking about is dleted unread messages. if it was opened and then not responded to then I say "oh well" it is the "player" appearance that gets Me. but as I said some have said it is no big deal and they ar right just really irritating to know people like that are here. and I understand the filter thing as well and I'll buy that as well, never set a filter so do not know how they are done (something to look into) but why not say what one is NOT looking for in the profile as well so as to let people know that they will not be read wihout "whatever"? just questions I ponder.



Irishknight -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:28:03 PM)

I have had people whose profiles match mine so well that its frightening delete me unread.  Doesn't really bother me.  It used to.  I learned to get over it.



Real_Trouble -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:29:26 PM)

People are always shifty and dishonest, though.  That's a fundamental component of human nature; everyone lies.  The question is finding those who can keep their head on straight when it comes to the things that matter; those who understand trust in an earned and reinforced context, and those who understand things like recriprocity and respect in a genuine fashion.

Notice I didn't say "were nice" anywhere in there, though.  Some of my best friends are raging bastards.

With that said, I genuinely look at it this way:

- Anyone I catch being a liar, cheat, or anything of the sort when dealing with me has done me a favor - I no longer have to waste my time on them to find out the worst later, they gave me the information up front.  It just speeds up their day of reckoning (to the immediate present) and lowers my opportunity cost for having dealt with them.

- Anyone who does a delete-unread has told you they aren't worth your time to deal with in a similar fashion.  Either you don't fit their criteria (and everyone has preferences; you can never be everything to everyone), or they've shown you they lack skill at one of the most crucial abilities to have in life: hunting for black swans.



MissMagnolia -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:37:18 PM)

I always look at the profile before opening mail. If it's someone who has the whole "I want this and I want that" or "Looking for a woman to use a strapon on my ass, let me eat her shit and flog me to the end of time"profile, I delete the email. What's the point in taking the time to read a gimme gimme gimme email? My profile is pretty clear on all that. It's not my fault that they can't be bothered reading my profile, again which is very clear on what to email me for and what not to.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:40:23 PM)

You never know if it's a gimme gimme email till you read it. They may be commenting on something you said on a thread, complimenting you on a pic or any number of things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I always look at the profile before opening mail. If it's someone who has the whole "I want this and I want that" or "Looking for a woman to use a strapon on my ass, let me eat her shit and flog me to the end of time"profile, I delete the email. What's the point in taking the time to read a gimme gimme gimme email? My profile is pretty clear on all that. It's not my fault that they can't be bothered reading my profile, again which is very clear on what to email me for and what not to.





JulieorSarah -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 7:55:02 PM)

been here before ... the only actions you can really control via email are your own ... if this is something that happens a lot to you, are you approaching the wrong people or does your profile indicate in some way that you're wrong for them ... many females are bombarded with contacts from those that just don't fit their profile ... the filters are great for removing them and you don't have the angst of dealing.

or if they are that rude ... wasn't it better to know so early on?



Real_Trouble -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 8:05:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
You never know if it's a gimme gimme email till you read it. They may be commenting on something you said on a thread, complimenting you on a pic or any number of things.


That's precisely my thought process as well.

Usually you can spot a moronic letter within about three seconds of starting to read it, and just shitcan it.  However, those three seconds could lead you to find a diamond in the rough, as well.  You never really know what will turn up.

I got the job I currently have by meeting someone at a party randomly, for instance.  Apparently I impressed them enough in the conversation we had that they recommended someone else call me about a position they had open.

You never know what you might find, and thanks to the medium, the "negative" results can just be deleted and you move on.  I think it's almost always (though, to be fair, there are some egregious ones even I don't read) worth a glance, but often not much more than that.  Your opportunity cost is really low, though.



MissMagnolia -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/12/2008 11:58:17 PM)

Yes YHMA, but it is MY mail and I get to delete, read or respond to it. Just like you do.



shivermetimbers -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 12:41:51 AM)

I'd just like to know this, as I kind of skimmed through the thread, so apologies if it's been asked already.  Does it really make any difference if they read, deleted, and never responded as opposed to unread, deleted?  Is your ego that frail? Did you send some Shakespearian quality sonnet or something you wanted them to see?

Get over it, move on.



pinksugarsub -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 3:32:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: realisticwish

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

On an unrelated topic, I saw a FDom profile a couple days back where the introductory paragraph was something like "Stupid men get it through your head, I am looking for a girlslave! Your messages will not be read." Her profile identified her as straight. Good luck with that.


I  agree it is unrelated to the topic, however it is what caught my eye and brought me to the forum.   I am a straight Domme I like that word to me it means female so no need to add the fem to it.   I have a female slave.   I cherish and adore this girl.   Was I looking for a girl NO WAY.    We are however members of the  local scene and met as friends.   One chat and another and another.   She wanted to be spanked.   An ass is an ass but a red RED or blue and purple ass well you get the idea.   
 
For me in trying to keep an open mind and looking at all people, taking the time to get to know them you may find many things.   This task I learned later in life and it has served me well.  
 
In my answer to the deleted mail topic I agree do not let it upset you, life is far to short to worry about that when you just might be missing the one person you were supposed to meet.  
 
Get involved in your local groups, attend a munch, go to a demo, you never know who you might meet and in meeting that person it could just lead to the next person who you were supposed to meet.
 
Be safe and have fun along the way.
~J~


ROFLMAO.
 
"Attend a munch."  Apparently You've missed the 'D/s Groups & the Dilemma' thread, Ma'am, lol. (No disrespect intended.)
 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1925481/tm.htm
 
To the Op:  There are some strange rangers on CM.  It's a free site and A/anyone can join, as long as T/they're of age.  It's likely W/we've all had similar experiences to Yours.  Don't let it detract from Your enjoyment of the site.  IMO, M/most P/pl on CM are pleasant.
 
To DiurnalVampire:  When You get an email, how do You view the sender's profile without at least opening it in full?  That might come in handy.
 
pinksugarsub 



DesFIP -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 4:41:28 AM)

They looked at your profile first, were uninterested so didn't bother to read the mail.

Chill dude, if other people's doings get to you this much, you're losing it. Not good at all.



martyrized -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 7:03:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real_Trouble

I suspect I am atypical in that I read the vast majority of my mail, but I certainly don't respond to most of it.

However, I have deleted people unread for a variety of reasons:

- I didn't like their handle (usually this is something like mail from LOLIRNOOB or something)
- I had seen their profile (or looked it up) and didn't want to talk to them
- They were out of a demographic I am interested in dealing with

Overall, I have to say the mail I get is pretty well-targetted, probably because I don't use a photo and I'm pretty fucking blunt in the text I have on there.  Someone should have a pretty good sense of who I am on a first-pass level, and likewise be unable to judge me on appearance at all, so they can't be contacting me for that.

I probably get a hell of a lot less mail in general, but it saves me effort.

With all that said, don't worry about it.  If someone deletes your mail unread, let it go and walk on.  It's their loss for not wanting to deal with me (or, in this case, you), after all.


Y'know... just as a rule, I would entertain email communications with someone with a handle like 'LOLIRNOOB'... just for comedic value.



peppermint -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 2:49:29 PM)

If you had email deleted before, you'll get more now.  A Dom who is lets his ass get burned by email appears to be a Dom who needs to learn to control his temper and a grown up way to handle disappointment.  Get over it...deal with it.  This is the internet.  If they didn't answer or read, you don't interest them.  THEY may have satisfied the criteria YOU have set for yourself...but apparently YOU do not satisfy the criteria THEY have. 

quote:

isn't this lifestyle all about giving and gettin respect? 


Aren't ALL people due repect from EVERYONE?  Why do you think kinky people are supposed to respect more than others?  The people here are not better or worse than anyone else. 



sunshinemiss -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 3:37:39 PM)

To the OP:

Clearly you aren't a lovely lady submissive on this site... We get gobs of email (as has been discussed ad nauseum)... You might want to check out Stephann's thread about how to find a woman :  http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/tm.htm

And frankly, I get so many emails from people who act like jerks that it breaks my heart to open email sometimes.  So, knowing how sensitive I am, I don't read any emails if I don't recgnize the name from the boards or a chat room.  And yes, I am sure I miss some perfectly nice fellows.  But you know what?  I have given folks info on how to get to know me.  If they choose to not do what I ask, then boo hoo.  I'm tired of the "hey baby" one liners as well as the just plain rude emails.  It took a while for me to get up the courage to do that - delete without looking - it smacks of being rude to me also.  But you know what?  My heart is more important than your email... to me.

Good luck,
sunshine



FullCircle -> RE: Deleted Unread (6/13/2008 3:53:23 PM)

To this thread

I have responded unread.



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