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slave head space - 6/13/2008 7:05:32 AM   
Johnstoy


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		Most of the time, i have a hard time keeping my headspace within my slave self.  i am a mother of 2, work outside the home and am very involved in my kids lives.  So me getting back to my slave headspace with my Husband/Master is sometimes on the back burner, not easily done.  my question is, how do others keep this from happening?  How do you keep your Master formost in your mind?  Are there rituals that is expected of you, is there something that you do daily to you on the right track?

Thanks for your help! 
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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 7:20:14 AM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline 		I don't have any kids but I'm a medical student, training to be a doctor, and it was sometimes hard going from having to be quite assertive in class to submissive as soon as I got home. I found that walking through the park on the way home, thinking about my Master and what he might do or expect from me when I got back helped. It always helps to build up a little bit of anticipation, and having enough time to be quiet and get yourself into the right mental attitude.

(in reply to angelicslaveMDF)
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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 8:09:44 AM   
ModeratorSixteen


Posts: 1275
Status: offline 		Please remember to keep minors off topic and stick to the question.

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Freedom of expression and personal opinion is a positive input.

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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 8:27:42 AM   
Johnstoy


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		Did i post something wrong? 

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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 9:49:40 AM   
eepsy


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		i can be assertive when i need to be and have absolutely no problems holding my own, but when i'm with Master, i defer to his wishes and demands ... well, i try to, at least. i don't know how i switch between my assertive self and my submissive self, i just do, and it feels right. very comfortable too!

(in reply to Johnstoy)
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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 10:41:22 AM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		i'm an imp-keeper also (minors are a subject that are off-limits for the most part, johnstoy).

when i've time with my dominant, i take time to reset my mind...the little rituals that put me from housewife mindset to submissive mindset.  i shower and shave, light incense in the bedroom, prepare the bed, things like that.  its like filing the mundane away for a while, and reminding myself that i'm now HIS and no longer just for me.

in a week, i'll be moving to a 24/7 situation, and although i wont be working outside the home, i know me, and i'll find little rituals to get me into "him time" before he comes home, too.   thats something that i can do to maintain my mindset when he's present.

kitten

(in reply to eepsy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 10:47:46 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		My Angel has a hard time getting back into headspace especially when he is stressed. My remedy is to let him slip out even when I am around. The less stress he has when he cant be the perfect little slave i want becasue of other things, the easier it is for him to get around them and come back to me as my pet.
or Fox, service is how he battles the stress, so he doesnt have the issue. But with Angel, he has tobe relaxes to be a save, and until we can get him there I let him be himself. It all pases eventually. I dont need to be the center of his every waking thought for him to be mine, I just have to be in his thoughts, even if that just means how he is going to get rid of stress and back to being what I want.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to pixidustpet)
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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 11:03:08 AM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		i've been giving this some thought.. and its not something i can say i have a problem with personally.
No matter what i am doing and no matter how much is going on He is always forefront in my mind, i never find it difficult to slip back into a "slave headspace" because i never leave it.
Maybe thats the difference, with me its actually who i am 24/7, not a hat i put on when it suits me.


_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to Johnstoy)
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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 11:50:39 AM   
angelicslaveMDF


Posts: 43
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		i am also a mom of 2...and fortunately Master felt it the bio's were old enough to know of our lifestyle...so i dont have to hide it so much in that aspect...but we dont do things that we would think to be beyond their understanding such as me getting flogged and the like

quote:

  How do you keep your Master formost in your mind?  Are there rituals that is expected of you, is there something that you do daily to you on the right track?


no there arent necessarily rituals but i do little things for Him when He gets home such as fixing His dinner or a drink when He comes home from work...and sitting with Him and such...He on the same side whispers things or tugs on my hair and gives me gentle reminders or nudges that remind me of my place as well...you have to find what fits for you and your Master/Dom

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*thats my opinion and Master says i am entitled to it.*
angelicslaveMDF

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 12:36:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Recognize that every headspace is slave space- it's just not the stereotypical fuzzy happy centered slave space.  You are more than one dimensional- as long as you are operating under the authority they wish in the manner they wish, you are being true to yourself as a slave in that relationship.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to angelicslaveMDF)
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RE: slave head space - 6/13/2008 3:52:31 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		During the course of the day, its normal to focus on the things before you, even if you are a slave. What a lot of my slave friends do, some consciously and some subconsciously, at to have a ritual at the end of the day that deliberately makes them refocus. Some take a shower to wash away the day...some kneel for their collars...some call their Master...the list can go on.

Oh, and be sure that the two of you understand that the kids and their lives are often the Masters of the house. ;-)

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 6/13/2008 3:53:05 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to Johnstoy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 2:28:52 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Johnstoy

Most of the time, i have a hard time keeping my headspace within my slave self.  i am a mother of 2, work outside the home and am very involved in my kids lives.  So me getting back to my slave headspace with my Husband/Master is sometimes on the back burner, not easily done.  my question is, how do others keep this from happening?  How do you keep your Master formost in your mind?  Are there rituals that is expected of you, is there something that you do daily to you on the right track?

Thanks for your help! 

This is what happens when real life clashes with ideals.
 
What we do is prioritise!  You're already doing that; you're just confusing your theoretical priorities with your factual ones - kids come *first*...!
 
Mature adults find a balance and time for both....  Frankly, I'd be a little creeped out by any slave wanting to put my needs ahead of her responsibilities as a mother.  I'm a big boy and there are still only 24hrs per single day. 
 
Life is hard work and we're not always governed by what we want.  And it usually falls apart when one priority excludes another altogether.  You find time for the things (and people) that matter - that's what I'd expect of my slave if she had young children.
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Johnstoy)
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RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 4:17:20 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Recognize that every headspace is slave space- it's just not the stereotypical fuzzy happy centered slave space.  You are more than one dimensional- as long as you are operating under the authority they wish in the manner they wish, you are being true to yourself as a slave in that relationship.


An excellent way of putting it and very much as I see it also. slave isn't a hat that is put on at playtime it is who the girl is, in all her aspects, all her moods, all the differing headspaces she needs to cope with the rest of life not just when she is directly serving.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 4:38:49 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		You have loads of labels that apply to yourself friend, brother. employee etc, you are never not these things just sometimes they are more important than others. Thats how i see it anyways.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 4:39:08 AM   
darkeangelique


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline 		Just my 2 cents worth ...looking after His children is showing your love and devotion to Him. Working outside the home to make life easier/better for Y/you both is honouring Him, keeping house shows your desire to please Him : )

For me taking some time out through the day to perform small rituals helped me feel connected to Him during a busy day, that is sending a message at a time He set with specific content that He set ...or small physical things to be completed at certain times each day and a follow up message,for me these little daily rituals always reinforced the connection and gave me a bit of an energy boost to finsh my work day with a smile!

Showering and wearing my collar as soon as i got home to refocus the mindspace helped me -but i like rituals!....however with littleuns about you may need to forgoe the collar and select a special piece of jewellry or clothing of His choosing.

Wish you well : )

Darke



_____________________________

Two things are infinite: the universe and human studity; I'm not sure about the universe

(in reply to Johnstoy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 4:50:43 AM   
Wiseprotector


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		We do have rituals, one that's somewhat involved that includes putting on leather restraints and collar. But, the 'long version' is occasional, and doing just a little of it, helps us both get into that frame of mind.

lilminx is going to school full time now, ( for her Masters, ironically enough), so there is a little more time, and that's luxurious.

(in reply to Johnstoy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 7:59:05 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Recognize that every headspace is slave space- it's just not the stereotypical fuzzy happy centered slave space.  You are more than one dimensional- as long as you are operating under the authority they wish in the manner they wish, you are being true to yourself as a slave in that relationship.


An excellent way of putting it and very much as I see it also. slave isn't a hat that is put on at playtime it is who the girl is, in all her aspects, all her moods, all the differing headspaces she needs to cope with the rest of life not just when she is directly serving.



I agree. Both very well said.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 11:25:43 AM   
Johnstoy


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		What are some of the things that are done...that you do that help keep you there.  i have a very stressful job, it is very hard for me to leave that behind.  

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: slave head space - 6/14/2008 6:25:15 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Johnstoy

What are some of the things that are done...that you do that help keep you there.  i have a very stressful job, it is very hard for me to leave that behind.  


one of the really neat little sugary stories that go around the internet goes like this:

two men were talking to one another, discussing their work and families.  the first man talks about how stressed he is, and how his family is stressed and always in bad moods, and life just isnt much fun any longer.  the second man nods, and invites his friend home with him.  as they walk up to the front door, the second man pauses, and touches the bush by the front door several times before walking in, finding his wife and giving her a kiss hello, then greeting his children.  after a pleasant dinner, the man walks his friend out to his car, and the friend asks him "what were you doing with that bush?"

the second man says "before i go in, i place all my work troubles on that bush.  they dont belong in my home, and i let them air overnight.  funny, when i pick them up in the morning, they never seem so many".

its a sugary story, true...but its still a good idea in theory.  one of the things i always did even when my marriage was failing was to drop *everything* i was doing when wolf walked in, and greet him.  (wolf has never been my dominant.)  it was my way of making him important, and letting him know that i was happy to see him. 

perhaps greeting him at the door, removing his shoes, and getting him something to drink could help put you in the mindset.  or giving him a special smile while touching your collar (or whatever symbol you choose).  maybe as others have said, putting on a special piece of jewelry and reminding yourself of your status will help you move from "wife/employee/mother" mindset to "His slave/mother" mindset.  (you NEVER get rid of the mother mindset  )

kitten, helpfully

(in reply to Johnstoy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: slave head space - 6/15/2008 5:45:52 AM   
Johnstoy


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline 		pixidustpet,

thanks!  i don't ever want to get rid of the mother mind set, that isn't my goal.  i am expected to keep them first.  i just need to get rid of the very stressful job, and just the normal annoyances that hang on and drag me down where i dwell on them and not concentrate on what is important.

Thanks again pixidustpet and everyone else that has given me so much to work with. 

(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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